While reading the essay "What to do with 3 1 year-old", there was a short article about abstinence, which said that a female white-collar worker had her first sexual experience from 16 to 3 1 year-old, and * * was the focus of her life, except that men could take the initiative to "relax" eating. The hostess admits that she is not a stunning beauty, but she exudes the sexual attraction of a charming man. Even if she cuts a work dress with ultra-short hair and blue coarse cloth, it will be evaluated as "looking more erotic". For her, dating a man is like addiction, and falling in love has become a sideline. She admits that it is not so much because of * * * as because she is eager to get in touch with the skin of the opposite sex. 15' s extravagance made her "eat" too much before she realized how lonely she was. There will be smoking addiction, drug addiction, internet addiction and game addiction in this world. Is there such a thing as "sex addiction"? What kind of addiction is sex addiction, and why does it make people sink so much? Do those sex addicts really enjoy themselves to the extreme? Is the loneliness and loneliness behind a sex addict's love for one person a sex addiction or is it for multiple talents? As for the example of sex addiction, we heard that most versions are like a merry-go-round, so there is a confusion. Can a person * * * indulge in addiction? The most representative film is the Sensory World of Tsushima, Japan (this island country is rich in action movies, and there are also many literary films with the theme of sex, which discuss the intricacies of spirit and body, illusion and reality, joy and pain). In the film, the maid Akihito Abe and the man Ji Zang Ishida are addicted to physical intercourse, choking day and night, and sexual intercourse gradually becomes a ceremony of love and death. Finally, Abe strangled Ji Zang Ishida while he was sleeping and cut off his genitals. At the end of 1940s, Alfred Kinsey, an American sexologist, conducted a long-term survey on a group of college students (age 18-25), and found that 3% of them "have sexual outbursts more than 7 times a week", which he regarded as a group of people who had excessive sexual life. Therefore, having sex seven times a week (or more) is regarded as a yardstick of whether a person has "sex addiction". Marty Klein, an American sex therapist and marriage counselor, summed up his 30-year career and said that he would not easily make a diagnosis of "sex addiction" for patients. He is more inclined to think that it is abnormal sexual orientation, obsessive-compulsive disorder, sexual fantasy, sexual trauma and so on. People with this psychological tendency are basically struggling with these psychological problems at the same time: obsessive-compulsive disorder, impulsiveness, obsessive-compulsive disorder, bipolar disorder and borderline personality. At present, the key evaluation tool in sex addiction is sex addiction Screening Test (SAST), but Marty thinks that many questions in this evaluation scale are: "Of course ... is this abnormal?" This diagnosis largely determines that normal sexual behavior and sexual experience are morbid. Therefore, Marty believes that the sex addiction screening test really measures: ◎ Did you grow up in a culture with a negative attitude towards sex? ◎ Will your * * * be darker? Do you have any questions about sex or sex? You won't feel any discomfort because of yourself? A further in-depth interpretation of the above standards can be investigated from five aspects: 1. Insecurity, shame, anxiety and emptiness after sexual activity. 2. I like to engage in secret activities and feel that my sexual behavior needs to be kept secret. 3. There are abusive behaviors or impulses in sexual activities, and they are eager to go against others' wishes. 4. meaningless sexual relations, that is, often having sexual relations with people you don't know or don't like at all. 5. Sexual behavior infringes or damages a person's sexual values. Psychologically, the scientific name of sex addiction is "sexual impulse control disorder", which refers to the persistent or periodic sexual impulse behavior of individuals who are strongly forced. From this, we can find that sex addiction is not the number of times, nor is it limited to one person or multiple strangers, but a forced sexual behavior. Although sex addicts may not necessarily become sex offenders, according to the data, about 55% of sex offenders can be regarded as sex addicts, and about 7 1% of child molesters are sex addicts. Is it sex or other "psychological rewards" that make you sink? A few years ago, I came across a case. I didn't know the word sex addiction at that time. What she said actually made me anxious. I felt that my brain was not big enough to understand. As a white-collar worker working in a foreign company, the work pressure is unbearable, but she still can't control her sexual fantasies. When her desire is unbearable, she will take an hour or two off from work and have sex with * * * in a hotel near the company to refresh herself. Go to parties almost every night, go to different men's beds, or take different men to their own beds (whether there is a bed or not); The process of * * * has gradually become purposeful from the initial enjoyment, just for * * *. "Only at that moment, I can clearly feel myself, but when I look at a strange man in front of me, I feel extremely desperate. I hate my body very much, but I have to rely on the happiness it brings me ... "The word addiction is usually used to describe the material needs that produce physical dependence (Holden, 20066). The research on drug addiction shows that the motivation characteristics of an object are composed of hedonic value and obsession with the object (Robinson & Burridge, 2000,2001). Although the reward value of a specific drug, such as cocaine, was originally obtained due to the "peak" experience of using this drug, the cause of addiction is the changes in EEG caused by the motivational effect. Holden (200 1) put forward that "as far as the brain is concerned, reward is reward, whether it comes from chemicals or experience". He believes that if someone finds a certain behavior particularly valuable, it may be because this specific behavior activates the reward pathway in the brain, which is usually activated by some basic behaviors, such as gambling, sex, compulsive overeating, shopping, running or various drug abuse. Studies have shown that drug addicts and sex addicts are also dependent on dopamine, which is the neurotransmitter in the happy center of the brain. Sex addicts are not addicted to sex, but rather pursue spiritual comfort. A serious sex addict can watch porn all night, forcing *** 100 times, and the sexual organs can't even stop bleeding. Obviously, this is no longer pleasant. There are many reasons for sex addiction, which are influenced by family background, cultural knowledge, paranoid personality, heredity, living environment and other factors. According to the survey, 60% of sex addicts were abused in childhood. Patrick kanis, a famous psychologist who studies sex addiction, believes that some sex addicts grew up in hostile, chaotic and indifferent families in childhood, or even though the family environment is normal, their emotions are rarely expressed at home, and they lack a sense of self-existence and establish negative core values, which leads to their extreme desire for love. In addition, work pressure, lovelorn, long-term unsatisfied sexual life after marriage, extreme hunger and thirst, * * *, many * * exchanges on various occasions, multilateral love, wife exchange activities, etc. It can also lead to sexual addiction. Sex addicts often use sexual activity as a way of venting to calm their emotions, stabilize their mental state and escape from reality. What kind of people are more likely to have sex addiction? The American movie "I am a Sex Addict" describes a middle-aged man, Kewitt, who has uncontrollable and almost abnormal sexual desire for * *. He has been divorced twice because he is a hopeless sex addict. Coincidentally, the Spanish film Diary of Sexual Addiction described a beautiful young woman Valerie who fell madly in love with * * *, and all men regarded her as a stunner, but finally left her for the same reason. In order to * * * aboveboard, she went to be * * *. In real life, golfers Tiger Woods and Italian Prime Minister silvio berlusconi are accused of sex addiction. The news that david duchovny, the hero of the X-Files series, is treating sex addiction has also caused a sensation, and Britney Spears is also among the suspected sex addicts ... Some people may ask, is everyone prone to sex addiction? From the perspective of gender, is the possibility of male sex addiction greater than that of female sex addiction? According to the statistics of the four major anonymous treatment associations of sexual addiction in the United States, sexual addiction mostly occurs in men, with a ratio of 4: 1. This figure may need to be considered, because most women are usually ashamed to define their problems as sex addiction, and they don't even realize that they have sex addiction. They usually call it "love addiction" or "relationship addiction". Sex addiction is a mental illness regardless of national boundaries, gender, age and occupation, and its manifestations vary widely. In his book Loneliness All the Time: Identifying, Understanding and Overcoming Sexual Addiction, psychologist Il Ye Xiaokai explained from a physiological point of view that sexual addiction comes from the excessive secretion of adrenaline in the brain, which leads to people's extreme desire for sex, thus forming a compulsive and ritual sexual behavior pattern to alleviate the behavior caused by hormonal imbalance. The analysis of blood test results shows that the proportion of hormone secretion in sexual center is out of balance, and the strong constitution is higher. * * *, or self-loathing loneliness? Sex addicts are so addicted to physical pleasure that the frequency is much higher than that of ordinary people. Does it mean that they get more than n times of sexual supernormals? To answer this question, we must first distinguish between lust, exuberance and sexual addiction. Both lust and exuberance are satisfied with sex and addicted to it, but there is no conflict in their hearts. They regard sex as an entertainment hobby and enjoy it. Some of them like to go to pornographic places, have research on SM and other sexual behaviors, and are keen on experience. But sex addicts are different. They can't control their sexual impulses. They consciously know that they shouldn't do it, but they can't help doing it. Their self-regulation ability is flawed, and they are not alert to the dangers and threats brought by behavior addiction. The materials of the American SLAA Anonymous Association describe that "loneliness, pressure, guilt, anger, shame and other emotions are sexualized", so the sexual behavior of sex addicts has little to do with * * * *, and more is psychological comfort. Most of them are lonely, weak and self-denying. Sex is their outlet. After they had sex. In order to chase this moment of escape, they repeatedly * * * until exhausted. Sex addiction can do harm to body and mind in three aspects. Excessive compulsive behavior, such as compulsion, will harm the sexual organs, and being with many people will increase the risk of sexually transmitted diseases. The biggest pain of sex addicts is psychological. They are eager to get rid of this great mental pain and destruction, but depression and despair make them fall into a vicious circle. There was a man who couldn't get rid of his sexual addiction and took a knife from the palace, which led to tragedy. And it will also bring great harm to friends and family around you. Under the pressure of social culture and morality, they are also suffering from physical and mental torture, no less than sex addicts themselves. Most sex addicts have tried to change and alleviate their psychological problems through faith and restraint, but most of them ended in failure. It is very difficult to quit sex addiction by one's own strength. Camus said in "The Outsider", "We seldom trust people who are better than us, and prefer to avoid associating with them. On the contrary, we often talk to people like us and have the same weaknesses as us. " Therefore, psychotherapy is generally recommended for the treatment of sex addiction and participation in some self-help groups for sex addicts. All the participants are sex addicts, so that we can discuss together, make progress together, cooperate with psychotherapy, help patients develop their emotional communication ability, thus changing the autistic state and achieving the goal of healing: restoring the value of "addicts" as a complete individual. Sex addiction is essentially a powerless struggle for people to cover up emotional and memory trauma. A sex addict said: I know that only normal and positive love can save me. When I saw this sentence, I inexplicably remembered an extremely gorgeous fireworks I had seen. I growled and exploded. In the dark night sky, the flames are soaring, flying around and fleeting. I looked at it like a fool. At that moment, I really realized that there would be a great sense of nothingness in front of the beautiful scenery. Then I remembered a friend who saw the outer space of vast expanse, the silent celestial bodies and the soft clouds in the sunset in Gravity and said, Loneliness. Many times, we are not greedy at all, we don't need to see all the beautiful scenery, and we don't even need a long stream of water. We just want to have a warm embrace at a certain moment. In the face of great loneliness and emptiness, we can feel the existence of another individual outside ourselves and let us know that I am not lonely. The loneliness behind sex addicts deserves our understanding and sharing with friends.