Sister Lin Peiyuan (1), now I can finally settle down and sort out your story. Maybe this is not a story, just some distant but true past to me. Sister, should you go to bed now? It doesn't matter. I'll speak slowly and talk about the long time we spent together. Sister, do you still remember the year of my third grade? When you were a sophomore, all four of us were at school, and the situation at home was not very good. My parents worked hard, planted several acres of land, and got up early every day. My mother works as a temporary worker in a factory in the town. She works long hours and earns little money. My parents are very busy during the day and don't go home until dark. The four of us take turns cooking, but most of the time you don't let me into the kitchen, because my cooking and fried dishes are terrible, but I know you don't want me to take up my reading time. Especially you, sister. I know that your relationship with your father was not good in those years. Maybe it's because you are rebellious in adolescence. Dad has always been biased against you, blaming you for your poor reading and lack of talent. In short, in his eyes, you have done a lot of bad things. Dad is a very eccentric person and likes to find fault with us at the dinner table. Elder sister, sometimes you forget to tie your hair. When you eat, your hair accidentally touches food. Dad will get angry and swear, "Are you brainless?" Don't eat without tying your hair! "

This situation is not a day or two. Many times, in the face of dad's criticism and accusation, you keep silent. Dad sometimes has a fierce tone, you are wronged, and tears are spinning in your eyes. So I put down my chopsticks and stopped eating. Mom didn't like it, so she said a few words to dad: "Can you talk less? I have never seen anyone like you. " She tried to use a calm tone, but her father still caught her pent-up resentment, so the fingers at the dinner table quickly pointed to her mother, "It's all you, you are uneducated!" " Neither my two sisters nor I dare to disturb-another unpleasant meal. I have been used to this scene for several years. I didn't expect that after you went out to work, the war without smoke at the dinner table would continue. I don't know if his preference for boys is at work, so he has always been biased against you three. On the contrary, sometimes I feel very strange that there is no so-called rebellious period in my youth. Every time I see my father quarreling with you, I feel sad, but I dare not speak directly about him. Sister, none of us comforted you after you left in anger. Mom only sighs and scolds dad. It seems that each of us has something hidden in our hearts that we can't say publicly, so we all remain silent and helpless, waiting for things to return to normal slowly.

Every family has a difficult book to read, but this book in our family is too worrying. Many times, I dare not tell others about my family. My classmates all envy me and say that every time I go to our home, I feel very harmonious, but they can't see our most embarrassing situation. Dad sometimes can't tell the occasion. Once a classmate came home, you accidentally spilled water when you went to pour tea, and the water wetted the coffee table. Dad glared at you and scolded, "You are blind!" "The atmosphere in the living room suddenly became very embarrassed. My classmate sat on the sofa, too scared to speak. Sister, I remember you didn't say anything at that time, put down the kettle heavily and turned and walked away.

Will mom be worried about home? These things made her cry. She blamed her father because he still did it. When she was a child, she had no time to help with the children. Now that the children have grown up, they are not treated well at all. Of course, my mother's subtext excluded me, because everyone knew that my father loved me the most. Although he didn't say it, he rarely showed it. Seriously, sometimes I envy other people's homes. They seldom have conflicts and get along well with each other. In recent years, my father sometimes beats my sister when he is angry. My sister is not a fuel-efficient lamp either. When she is scolded or beaten by her father, she will resist angrily. But the more contradictory they are, the worse dad's attitude is.

My sister Lin Peiyuan and my mother often cry with anger. I couldn't take it anymore, so I loudly ordered them to shut up.

The atmosphere at home, like ebb tide and flowing tide, always washes away the calm beach inadvertently.

It was not until recent years that things got better. We are all grown up, and I dare to correct my father directly when I don't like it. Sister, your father has changed a lot in these years when you worked outside. Before you left this house, he was just too grumpy to take care of your feelings. In fact, he still misses you in his bones. When mom called you, he just sat quietly listening. After the phone call, he asked his mother, how have you been recently? Later, when you call home, he will greet you with the phone. Dad is an introvert. He has a lot of words hidden in his heart. No matter how hard life is, he can remain silent, like a diligent cow. When mom is in a good mood, she will joke that dad has nothing to recommend except hard work.

But we all know that dad still loves us, after all, the palms of his hands are full of meat.

Sister, I'm sure you remember your aunt coming home to take you to work in Shenzhen, right? I will never forget it in my life. That was the first time I cried quietly because of your sudden departure. During the Spring Festival that year, my aunt's family went back to their hometown for the New Year. Seeing that our family's economic situation is so tight, she discussed it with her parents and said that you didn't study well anyway and didn't go to a key high school. You might as well come out to work early to lighten the burden at home. Then, she didn't discuss with you. The next day, our family sat together and chatted. She said, "What do you study in this family? Come with me to Shenzhen and help you find a job. " My aunt is the only college student in our family who goes out. She has seen the world and is also an outstanding person. Her parents listen to her, and we younger generations respect her very much. She said one, we dare not say two. So, sister, you have no time to express your thoughts. A high school student who hasn't even been to a county town several times, so abruptly took his aunt to that colorful city.

My elder sister and I were very sad that day. Usually, we don't have any communication. Even if we have secrets that we can't hide, we will talk to our best friends. I never thought that one day, such a sudden thing would touch each other's hearts. I saw my little sister crying and my big sister sipped her mouth and didn't talk. Sister, I'll follow you when you go upstairs to pack your things. I saw you squatting on the ground, opening the drawer under the wardrobe, taking out the clothes one by one, folding them and putting them in the suitcase. Your back is so thin that the sun shines on you through the window. I admit that for a moment, my eyes were wet, but I was afraid to cry. I turned and sat on the stairs, quietly wiping my tears.

I still remember clearly that you touched your little sister's head and said, "Don't worry, I'll buy you nice clothes when I make money." At that moment, I was so sad that I couldn't bear to let you step into society so early, but there was no way. Who told us that this is the case in our family? Sister, I can guess from your tone that your heart is as uncomfortable as mine, but you are your sister, and you can't show any weakness, so you should smile and pretend to be strong.

I know all this. I didn't expect the years to pass so quickly, sister. You fulfilled your promise early in the morning. You bought a lot of clothes for my sister and me. Every time I visit you, you will ask me if I have enough clothes to wear at school, good food and enough money. Sister, what you said is good for me, and I silently remember it in my heart. I can't help crying when I think of writing here. A person in front of the computer, carrying a roommate, quietly crying silently.

Sister Lin Peiyuan (3) In your first year, you worked as a shelf clerk in a shopping center jointly run by your uncle and others. It's winter, so I have to get up at six o'clock in the morning to help pick up the goods and place the vegetables and fruits. It's so cold that your hands are frostbitten. That was your first job, and the salary was not high. My uncle and wife are very busy, so they can't take care of you. Aunt said she would give you a good exercise, and you have some pain in your heart. Don't tell her. At that time, you would call home as soon as you were free. You have no money to buy a mobile phone, so you have to make a public phone call. Most of the time, mom answers the phone and we listen. You said a lot about the unfairness of work and the harshness of the store. Sometimes I cry when I talk, and my mother can't help but wipe her tears. After hanging up the phone, the atmosphere in the room was very depressing. Mom let you go home in a fit of pique. Dad didn't say anything. On second thought, my mother felt sorry for herself again. "Who says we are useless and can't give our children a better life?" Mother convinced herself that I had just stepped into the society and had little experience. It is normal to be wronged, and it will get better with time.

Then, a year passed quickly. When I was admitted to a key high school in the market, you were very happy when I called you. You said, "Brother, getting into high school is just the beginning. You must work harder. If the tuition is not enough, I will help you out. " I don't know what you were thinking when you said this sentence. At least I heard it. I feel terrible. I was thinking about how long you just went out to work, and you usually have to pay your salary, so I thought about helping me pay my tuition. I said to you on the other end of the phone, "Sister, no need, my parents have the money to pay my tuition."

You had a boyfriend when I was a freshman. One summer vacation, I was still cramming. You and your boyfriend go back to their hometown and come to see me in the city the next day. I was just using my mobile phone, and you paid for it for me. No outsiders are allowed to come in during school hours, so after school, I rushed to the school gate with my schoolbag on my back. That kind of mood can really be described as "impatience". You stood side by side with him at the school gate, and the students swarmed out and almost drowned you, but I recognized you at a glance. I'm glad I haven't seen you for so long. My boyfriend smiled at me when I saw him standing next to you. I think he must be a good man, otherwise how could you have a crush on him? Sister, you are so beautiful. My classmates looked at me curiously when they passed by, so I proudly said, "This is my sister."

In 2007 1 month, I was still in the third year of high school, and I lived a busy review life. Knowing that I was selected for the semi-finals of the "New Concept Composition Contest", I told the news to several girlfriends that night. At first, I went to contribute behind my family's back, but I didn't expect to get in. But after the excitement, my worry came. I don't know if my parents can afford to go to Shanghai, so I called you and said a lot incoherently, but you didn't understand. I remember that you liked reading in high school, so I told you the names of Han Han and Jing M.Guo. You suddenly realized the importance of this competition, so you said, "I support you anyway."

I don't know how touched I am when I hear this.

Sister Lin Peiyuan (4) In February, I went to Shanghai to participate in the semi-finals of the "New Concept Composition Contest" and had to transfer to Shenzhen. At that time, you didn't work in the original shopping mall, but found another job as a salesgirl in the clothing counter in Above the Rainbow. Me? Shenzhen, staying at my aunt's house, the day before I went to Shanghai, I went to Rainbow by bus to find you. You ask your colleagues to cover for me and accompany me to buy clothes. You said I was going out to see the world, and I couldn't dress too outdated. If I remember correctly, it was the first time we went shopping together. We went to the Sun Square in the east gate, and then you said to buy me a thick coat. Shanghai was too cold to catch cold, so we took the subway to Luohu. You said a friend opened a shop there, and it would be cheaper to sell it to us. Later, I went to Shanghai in the fluffy coat you bought me. Before I left, you gave me several hundred dollars. I shirked that my aunt gave me enough money to spend and my father gave me some. But you still insist that I accept it. You said, "Take more money, just be careful, and have more money in your heart." ? Be realistic. "When I flew to Shanghai, I looked at the blue sky outside the window and prayed silently in my heart, hoping that everything would go well on this trip.

I remember when I sat under the podium and learned that I had won the first prize, my excitement was beyond words. Later, I called to tell you the good news. On the phone, you were happy. You said, "When you come back, I'll treat you to dinner to celebrate." On the other end of the phone, I looked at the gloomy sky in Shanghai and laughed. I think my smile must be very warm, because I really touched the palm of my dream for the first time, which is very warm and powerful.

You changed your job in Shenzhen, gradually accumulated experience, and rented a house outside with your roommate. Although it took a long time to send money back, I could see that my father was very pleased, but he didn't say anything. I think he finally knows that his daughter has grown up and can think of her parents. But mom doesn't think so. She won't let you send money home. She knows that you spend a lot of money in that place in Shenzhen, so she keeps telling you on the phone, don't send it back if you don't have much money. You can support it at home.

In the year of my college entrance examination, I was not admitted to CUHK, which disappointed many teachers and classmates and also disappointed you. But when you call me, you can't hear disappointment or blame at all. You said, "It doesn't matter, it's the same wherever you go. The key is to have confidence. " I felt terrible at that time. In the summer vacation after the college entrance examination, I stayed at my aunt's house in Shenzhen. When I called the CUHK Admissions Office to ask about the score line, the people in the Admissions Office told me that I almost got on the key line, and even if I could get the first prize of "New Concept", there was nothing I could do. Holding the phone, I collapsed on the sofa and cried. Tears ran down my cheeks and dripped on the sofa. On the other end of the phone, the admissions officer kept talking, but I was too lazy to listen. From small to large, everything seemed smooth sailing, without much frustration, but at that moment, I really felt what was reality and what was cruel, and I heard my heartbreaking voice. I dare not think what kind of eyes I will get from my relatives, friends and classmates if I don't get into an ideal university. I really can't think about it anymore.

Fortunately, I have you and you, and I will never leave.

You see, a few years have passed, and our growth has been delayed by time, and it is too fast to turn back.

Sister, you work outside and seldom go home once a year. Let's see, you've been gone for six years, and you haven't spent New Year's Eve at home. Every time we have a family reunion dinner, we hope you can come back, but at the end of the year, when you are busiest, it will take a few days to come back. Every time I go home for the New Year, I always pack big bags, buy clothes for my parents and bring gifts to the three of us. This dreary home has become lively and warm because of your return. Dad's attitude towards you is very different from before. After all, the times have changed, and people's mood has also changed, becoming gentle and sincere.

Sister Lin Peiyuan (5) The inseparable relationship between us and this family was realized more deeply when we grew up. Sister, I have been studying hard for so many years, hoping to come out to work early, share the burden for my family and give my parents a better life. I know that you have been working hard, whether you are working outside or doing business, you have hard days, but no matter how hard the days are, you are optimistic. Every time I go home, you and I, as well as my mother and my sister, will stay in the living room and chat, and my father will not participate. After so many years, he is still used to silence. Sometimes I talk until two or three in the morning and I'm still too excited to sleep. Such a situation is something I never want to see. I never thought that one day, we would be so close and listen to each other's voices. On a cold winter night or a hot summer night, bit by bit, we will be melted by the constant proximity to each other, and we can drive out all the cold in this world by relying on it closely.

I think this is the power of blood relatives, which penetrates into the bone marrow and merges into blood, endlessly.

Sister, after I went to college, I was so busy with my life and study that I gradually ignored the contact with you and your family. Most of the time, you called me and told me to call home often to be caring and attentive, and told me to go to Guangzhou when I was free. You should make me soup and good food. You said that I am so thin that I must not scrimp and save at school. It is most important to have a full stomach. Don't stay up too late at night, go to bed early when you are busy. Actually, I understand everything you said, sister, but I don't know how to tell you about college life. When I was a freshman, you and your boyfriend rented a house in Dongguan. When I first visited you in Dongguan by bus, I couldn't believe that you two were living such a hard life. The rented house is far away from the city and very remote. The house has only one bedroom, a pitifully small living room, a bathroom and a kitchen. The whole house adds up to less than 30 square meters. It was still summer, there was no air conditioning in the room, and the electric fan hung on the ceiling and blew, but the room was as hot as a steamer, and I was sweating after sitting for a while. Sister, I know you are afraid that I will be wronged, so you joked that you will live in a slum if you have no money now, and move to a better house when you have money later. At that moment, my heart was sour. I dare not look into your eyes, but I clearly feel the unspeakable discomfort in your eyes.

In the days of "humble abode", you and he were still very happy. I work during the day, and I'll take you around, have a barbecue or go shopping when I'm free at night. You are always worried that I can't eat well, so I always put the best in the bowl every time I eat. Sister, I really want to tell you that you don't have to spoil me so much. I have grown up and I am no longer a child. I will take care of myself. But I never said it, and I don't think you'll let me, will you?

In Dongguan, in the middle of the night, the three of us sat in the house and watched horror movies on the computer. He bought that computer. At that time, you just learned to surf the Internet, so you downloaded a lot of movies. You are the most timid when watching horror movies. When you see scary pictures, you always cover your eyes like a child.

So, he also teased you that you love watching horror movies so much, but you are still the most timid one.

At that moment, I saw the way he looked at you, intimate and gentle. What about you? Tongue sticking out, sly eyes.

Sister Lin Peiyuan (6) A year later, you got married. He is still the man who joined hands with you a few years ago. Now, he will hold your hand until you are old. Sister, I'm sorry I didn't attend your wedding. In the winter of 2008, I was busy reviewing and preparing for the final exam. You said Zhanjiang was too far away to let me go, so I listened to you foolishly-until now, I still regret it. I really wish I could go back in time so that I could attend your wedding in person and see your happy smiling face when you were a bride. In the Spring Festival of 2009, you and your brother-in-law went home. In the evening, our family is sitting in the living room, and you take out the wedding DVD to play. Our family quietly stared at the TV, watching the wedding that didn't take long to separate, watching the simple but warm wedding of you and your brother-in-law, watching the laughter at the wedding reception, and watching you two being teased by everyone. Many pictures just passed before my eyes. Really? At that moment, I cried. I think parents and sisters are the same, happy for you, but also feel a little sad. Especially my mother, at last, I turned my head and caught a glimpse of tears in her eyes.

And dad, I saw him, from beginning to end, with a faint smile on his face. This is the first time I have seen such an eager expression on his face. Elder sister, you say that dad has put down his overwhelming indifference?

Sister, that's me, too For the first time, I feel that a family's heart can be so close.

Sister, you see, unconsciously, we have spent such a long time together. Over the years, we have grown up slowly, assumed more responsibilities and understood the hardships and helplessness of life. Sister, remember last summer? After getting married, my brother-in-law and I moved out of Dongguan to find another way out. I rented a local shop in Guangzhou, Shop Thirteen, to sell clothes. There was no way out at the beginning, and the business was half done. I went to your place at the weekend because my brother-in-law had something to do and went back to his hometown, so you asked me to open a file with you early in the morning. This is the first time that I really integrated into your life. At half past six, it was slightly bright. After washing, I went out to squeeze the bus. The morning in Guangzhou is very lively. We go to your work by rickety bus. When we got off the bus, we were greeted by noisy and travel-stained people. We packed breakfast at the street stall, and the assorted dishes of rice porridge cost two yuan each-this is your breakfast every day. When we get to the booth, open the door, place the goods, hang the samples, and then we? Next to a square meter square stall, I sat down to eat rice porridge. Sister, although I can't help you, I am glad to see you working so hard and getting more and more familiar-at the same time, I am also very sad. Sometimes I hate myself. Why can't I come out to work earlier? Maybe I can share more for this family, then you won't work so hard. But every time we talk about this topic, you will warn me, "Don't think about anything now, just read your book well. If you can do well in the exam, get a scholarship and win the appreciation of teachers and classmates at school, it is the best reward for your family."

Sister, I silently remember what you said. So, I have been quietly telling myself in my heart, "You can't give up? Once you give up, you are the biggest sinner. " Later, I won the first prize of "New Concept", and later, I wrote my first book, which was published after all despite the twists and turns in the middle. In July 2009, Beijing signed a contract. I'll call you to describe the lively and spectacular scene. You smiled happily and contentedly on the phone. You always protect me like this. When I see other people's bad comments about me on the Internet, I will angrily refute them. Later, you wrote my book in space, published it and signed it for sale. I looked online and saw many messages from your friends, their blessings, their envy and encouragement. I think you must be as happy as I am?

Sister Lin Peiyuan (7) Sister, in a blink of an eye, I will graduate. I have been a freshman for three years. In another year, I will graduate from this university, and I will embark on another journey of my life. Are you busy these years? On business matters, I have said many times that I have come to see me at school, but I have no chance. Do you remember what I told you? Anyway, on my graduation day, when filming graduation photo, you and your brother-in-law must come, and I will invite my parents. Sister, in fact, dad is more and more like a child now. He often calls me to ask me how I'm doing and tells me not to stay up too late at night and pay attention to my health. What I say is homely, but I'm not bored at all. Really, sometimes when I hear my father's voice, there is a little cherish in my caution, which makes me very moved. I said to him, "You must come when I graduate." On the other end of the phone, he repeatedly said, "OK, I will definitely go." Sister, hope will never fail, right? I think, before I set foot on another crossroads in my life? Sometimes, there is your figure, your blessing and your warm and happy eyes.

When writing this article, I was so sad that I couldn't control myself several times. I think, this is not melodramatic, I just miss you very much, and I really want to talk to you about how we have come over the years, how we stumbled on the road of life, and how we helped each other. Our eyes are firm and we appreciate each other.

I remembered the poem written by Haizi, and the last two sentences in the poem deeply touched me:

I only have beautiful Gobi sky tonight.

Sister, I don't care about humans tonight, I just want you.