First, the physiological needs of adolescence (the role of sex hormones)
The physical development of college students has reached the later stage, and the germination of adolescent sexual consciousness is a normal phenomenon. It is necessary to release sexual energy and satisfy sexual impulse, which is an important inducement to urge young people to invest in love life. In the mature stage of sexual consciousness, the demand for sexual desire is increasingly strong, and the scattered sexual impulses in the previous stage are projected on the selected special objects. College students have a strong yearning for love. They yearn for romance, sweetness, love and being loved, and yearn for the beautiful love experience when they were young. "I look forward to spending Valentine's Day with my lover, thinking about Valentine's Day, collecting roses and further understanding what love is." Driven by sexual impulses, young people begin to date alone and do not engage in group activities. This is love. "Seeing that the admired opposite sex has a strong possessiveness, I hope that the other person can stay with me all the time, otherwise I will be in a trance and unable to concentrate on something", which is the most typical campus love.
Second, social ethics suppressed China's traditional exam-oriented education model.
An important feature of asceticism sex education is to provide spiritual strength to suppress carnal desires: religion provides original sin and God, philosophy provides rationality, and adult society always instills the concept of sexual guilt in young people. All these inevitably affect the youth's view of love. Pre-university education is an exam-oriented model, which completely ignores or ignores the physiological and psychological characteristics of adolescent students; Under the pressure of the college entrance examination rate, middle school teachers focus on purely utilitarian exam-oriented teaching, and no one dares to try adolescent education at the risk of "doing nothing" and "teaching bad students". Adolescent education in middle schools is almost blank, which makes the psychological development of freshmen lag far behind their physical development. After all, parents will only pay homage to teachers with high learning rate and dedication, and will not be grateful to a teacher who teaches children puberty knowledge. Under high pressure, the majority of middle school students lack understanding and communication with the opposite sex. Although learning pressure can temporarily suppress the instinct of adolescence and the impulse to understand and communicate with the opposite sex, this long-suppressed desire is released after entering the university after the college entrance examination. Sexual impulse is a physiological phenomenon, which will not be eliminated with depression, but will only accumulate strength in depression to launch the next charge. Long-term depression can cause serious psychological tension and anxiety. The independence of the individual in the university gives the green light to this desire invisibly, so it is not surprising that love comes into being.
Third, referring to the group and conformity psychology, the comparison psychology is stimulated by the surrounding environmental factors and influenced by conformity psychology. There are misunderstandings in college students' love. Although there is no need for some male and female college students to fall in love for the time being, falling in love with classmates in the dormitory will naturally arouse their love consciousness and behavior. It often happens, for example, people around us are in love, and they are in love with their male (female) friends. It seems that they are very moist every day. People who have never talked about love will have envy, and they will have the idea of falling in love in their hearts and unconsciously pursue this emotional sustenance. "Everyone around you is talking about it. Why didn't I say anything? I want to find a girlfriend when I see others in pairs when I am empty. Is it good to fall in love or not to talk about it? " All the other girls in the dormitory are in love. It seems that girls without boyfriends are unwelcome and unwelcome. If they don't follow the crowd, they don't look attractive. They do not hesitate to lower the courtship conditions and try their best to win the favor of the opposite sex. However, love found in such a hurry always seems to be imperfect.
Fourthly, it is more common for college students to relieve their inner emptiness and loneliness after leaving home.
Some people think that college life is boring, and a little love seasoning can fill the emptiness inside. Why not? Intimacy is essential for everyone. Even Robinson, who is detained on a desert island, needs to cultivate a loyal servant "Friday" to meet his interpersonal needs. There is no communication with close people at all, which brings loneliness that ordinary people can't stand. The climax of the intimate relationship between men and women is love. Apart from parents, I'm afraid there is no one more intimate than lovers. The intimacy between lovers is incomparable to parents in some aspects. It is very natural that the pursuit of intimacy leads lonely young people to love. Psychologist Sullivan pointed out that intimacy and sexual impulse are finally combined with human love. "All these important interrelated tendencies have become the same need for intimacy, friendship recognition, private communication and the need to establish a love relationship with the opposite sex in the early youth. This is a final and meaningful combination." Because college students are a person, they lack the proper care and care of their families and emotional communication and understanding, and love can make up for this deficiency. Doing nothing but studying on campus, I get upset when I look at piles of thick books every day. "Spiritual emptiness" has become the talk of many college students. Because of emptiness and boredom, I can only find a friend to seek comfort and fall in love to kill time. The girl said, "It doesn't matter. Anyway, someone is pursuing me. If you don't fight for nothing, you can alleviate each other. " Some people even said, "College students can only fall in love except studying." Although this sentence is a bit exaggerated, it also largely reflects the fact that college students are generally empty. Some people are introverted or have some personality defects, which leads to less social interaction and inner loneliness. If there is a person who is in the same boat with you, can understand you and help you, and they have the same language for a long time, even if they feel that the other person lacks the conditions to be lovers, they are already sympathetic, just want to understand and ask for nothing else.
Five, looking for a career confidant or real life partner.
Laying a foundation for future family happiness and harmony, finding suitable people, helping each other in their studies and improving together, this is the love with the clearest purpose and purest intention, which is worth promoting. It is more common in mature college students, graduate students, seven-year students and some junior students. Some professional students with a long academic system fall in love because they think they will be old after graduation and need someone to accompany them to travel far.
Sixth, personality factors: the two have a tacit understanding and further develop on the basis of friendship.
Attribution and obedience are the most important personality factors that affect love. Attribution needs to promote young people to identify with the group. Group activities increase the communication opportunities of young men and women, and the same belonging to the group enhances the interpersonal attraction between two people. Further development may lead to love. In love, lovers can feel that they belong to another person, be caressed by another person, and enjoy everything together: property, feelings and secrets. Love can directly meet the needs of belonging and obedience. Their personalities are very similar or complementary, their interests are very consistent, and they are like-minded. When they are together, there are always endless words, and naturally they stick together. "I am an emotional person and have a beloved girlfriend; We are both in our twenties, so it is natural for them to fall in love. The key is how to deal with it. "
Seven. Economic demand
For some girls, finding a boyfriend can help solve economic problems. Some girls are beautiful and have excellent grades, but their families are poor. It happens that some boys are well-off, but their academic performance is not good. In order to learn from each other, they become friends. They are not so much in love as using each other with their own development prospects as the goal, without considering each other's interests at all, and this relationship is easy to break down.
Eight, the pursuit of romance, a culture that kills boring time.
In two aspects, consciously or unconsciously, it deepens the tendency to praise or criticize feelings. Many college students fall in love in order to try the long-awaited sweet love. Literary works often exaggerate the purity and sacredness of love and strengthen the tendency of young people to idealize love. They draw a conclusion from poems and novels that pure spiritual pursuit is a hundred times more important than low-level carnal desire, so they pursue noble and sacred love and belittle dirty carnal desire.
Some college students, especially junior girls, often watch too many love dramas in Hong Kong and Taiwan and blindly pursue spiritual love beyond real life. This illusory and naive relationship will fall apart once it encounters real setbacks. It is good to have some ideal colors and romantic feelings between men and women, which can make each other's love more poetic and lasting appeal, but it cannot surpass reality. There are also juniors, especially boys, who have more spare time and seldom concentrate on their studies. They play computer games, play cards and read novels all night. When all this is unattractive, they think of making friends and fall into it. The purpose of love is to find a lifelong partner in both tradition and reality.
3 1.6% of the respondents thought it was "experiencing love", 36.8% thought it was "enriching college life", 10.5% was "following the crowd" and 10.5% was "unclear".
Nowadays, college students pay attention to the process of love itself and don't care much about the result of love. Paying attention to the process of love is beneficial for both sides to deepen their understanding and cultivate their feelings, and it also shows that contemporary college students are unwilling to fall into the secular world and deliberately pursue the true meaning of love. However, it is biased to focus only on the process of love, emphasize the "present continuous tense" of love, separate love from marriage and ignore the "future perfect tense" of love.
The mentality of "not seeking eternity, only seeking once" makes some college students regard love as an emotional experience to satisfy their spiritual enjoyment; Some college students regard love as a pastime culture in order to enrich their after-school life. Paying attention to the process of love and ignoring the result of love only emphasizes the right of love and denies the responsibility of love. The only way to maturity, love can make people sublimate, find their own weaknesses, and summon up the courage to overcome difficulties.