20 10 July, graduated from university. At that time, it was generally difficult for college students to find suitable jobs because they had no work experience. As a person with no background in all aspects, I was lucky enough to enter a subsidiary of a Fortune 500 company through three rounds of interviews because of various coincidences.
I was hired to make the purchasing plan of the purchasing department, which belongs to one of the key positions in the department. I am the only one in the whole department to do this position. Because my work is irreplaceable, my leading colleagues are very dependent on me, and I am small and lovely, gentle and friendly, and I am at peace with the world. Everyone likes me very much, and my interpersonal relationship is very harmonious.
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In terms of marriage and family, it is also going well. 20 12 I married my boyfriend who fell in love in college. We work in the same city after graduation. In the first month after I went to work, my boyfriend's parents took out their half-life savings, paid a down payment in a property near my company and bought us a wedding room. I am very satisfied with my present life, and my husband loves me very much and is very considerate. I don't think about anything except doing my job every day, and live a happy life like a fool. Everything is as beautiful as a dream, but the dream will wake up one day.
That day has finally arrived. September 20 14, I returned to work after maternity leave. It was the most difficult and gloomy time in my career. Compared with my previous life, it is really a contrast between ice and fire. At that time, due to the requirement of overall planning and centralized management by the company headquarters, the post I had worked for four years before was recycled by the headquarters. I was assigned to a new financial position completely unrelated to my previous job, and I learned everything from scratch.
At that time, I was still breastfeeding, and I used my lunch break and breastfeeding leave to go back and nurse my baby every day. Although I travel back and forth every day, I still work less hours than others 1 hour. The workload of the new position is very heavy. When colleagues first took over, they often needed to work overtime until eight or nine in the evening. But I can't work overtime. I still miss my children after work at night and want to go back to breast-feed early. Besides, my mother is helping me with my children. She is also in poor health, and her back aches and her legs ache at the end of the day. I want to go back and hug the baby early, or I can give her a rest.
In order to finish the work with good quality and quantity, I go to the toilet every day except drinking water. When the milk hurts and I can't stand still, I will go to the bathroom to milk it. I've been working. My eyes began to swell and ache because I stared at the computer screen for a long time, and my vision dropped sharply. Sometimes when you are more than 1 m away from people, you can't see their faces clearly. Especially when you lie in bed with your eyes closed at night, your eyes are swollen and sour, and you have to feed your baby at night, so you can't have a good rest.
Moreover, the new boss is particularly strong, overbearing, has never given birth to a child, and cannot understand the bitterness of working mothers.
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I took over her job. I once met a girl who didn't quite understand her work problems. I think she is chatting with some girls from other departments at leisure. I interrupted softly at that time: so-and-so, here is a question I don't quite understand. How do you think to deal with it? At that time, she immediately changed her face and scolded: "I didn't say anything. What else do you ask?" You don't have a brain. You can't even think about it yourself? "She scolded me in front of so many colleagues and showed no mercy. At that time, I felt very angry and humiliated, and tears swirled in my eyes, but I held back and silently took the list back. I am a thin-skinned, self-respecting, sensitive and introverted person. I don't like quarrelling with people in the hall like a bitch.
However, before I got sick and had a fever, the minister even drove me to the hospital himself. I have never scolded me after four years of work, and now a team leader often scolds me. My colleagues' attitude towards me is not as good as before. I can bear the hard work at work, but I can't bear to swallow it every day. In addition, after having children, there are many trivial matters at home, and my husband and I often quarrel, feeling that he is no longer so gentle and considerate to me as before.
Because I took too much tonic in the second month and didn't pay attention to my diet during lactation, I ate a lot. My weight reached 136 kg, 36 kg fatter than before delivery. I am bloated and out of shape. In my cousin's words, it is "ugly". People are all visual animals. We usually like people who are beautiful in appearance and instinctively reject those who are ugly in appearance. I suddenly realized that I had changed from a lovely girl with strong working ability to a fat, ugly and incompetent aunt. So many things happened before and after the baby was born, which caused a huge psychological gap. I can't accept it. I began to be irritable and depressed, and my mental state was particularly poor. I don't think I can do this anymore, so I will become depressed. I want to change the status quo.
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I began to think about what caused my predicament today.
Everything is because I am short-sighted, not enterprising, content with the status quo and don't make long-term career plans for myself. In addition, my vision and pattern are too narrow to see the ever-changing situation and have no higher life goals and pursuits. Too comfortable external environment, like boiling frogs in warm water, swallowed up my fighting spirit a little.
At that time, I could already enter the company. If you think about it carefully, it may be because the subsidiary is in the preparatory stage and needs personnel urgently. My courage and quick thinking in the interview touched the department leaders. ? In fact, my personal ability is not strong, and the salary and positions entrusted by the company are greater than my ability. However, I think that with my luck and cleverness, I can live in this comfortable environment forever, but I neglect the cultivation of my working ability.
Personal skills are single and rely too much on familiar jobs. After working for four years, I basically do repetitive work, process data and make plans, and I don't need to communicate and coordinate with others, resulting in low communication and coordination ability and inability to be competent for other core positions in the purchasing department. During the period, the leader also suggested that I transfer to other key positions, but I feel that my present work is very skilled, I am afraid of hardship and fatigue, and I don't want to challenge unfamiliar fields or learn new things.
Do not love learning and refuse to change. Every day, I am trapped in my little corner, sitting in the well and watching the sky. In the four years when I had no children, my job was easy. I am free most of the time except the middle and the end of the month. I didn't use that time to recharge myself and master more skills, so I didn't have core competitiveness.
I have serious procrastination and laziness. I once set a goal to give a lecture in my spare time, but the book I bought was shelved after two days. Every day after work, my husband does all the housework. I play mobile phone and watch TV series online. Indulge in a relaxed and comfortable life and turn yourself into a giant baby who needs to be taken care of. Now that I have children and need to take care of them, I find that I have no ability to take care of others.
At the age when I should have struggled, I chose comfort. It's time for me to pay for my comfortable life in the past. Reminds me of a passage written by Li Xiaoyi, "If you don't do it for yourself, it's your turn to do it for you. Those lazy, inseparable people you stole in your life, those wasted time, like those who ate too much, will repay you in a special way one day. " Now this karma has come, and I am completely awakened by life.
I don't want to run away from difficulties any more, so I decided to stick to it. I listed all the difficulties I encountered in my work and broke them one by one. Improve work efficiency through various channels. Constantly reflect on the problems existing in your life and work, and constantly improve. There is no stable job now. Only by improving one's skills, constantly learning and building one's multi-dimensional competitiveness can one bring real stability.