someone

Yearning for loneliness under the noise

someone

Expect noise when you are lonely.

- 0 1 -

Host party.

Eating, drinking, singing and chatting, it's almost early morning when it's over.

Xiaoyou walked in the KTV corridor full of wine and smoke, accompanied by one or two tears and shouts from time to time in the private room. People outside embraced in twos and threes. They vomited and filled with intoxicated eyes.

Walking out of KTV, the uniformed driver downstairs brushed the floor and looked up at Xiaoyou. Their professional judgment tells them that this is not the target customer. Then lower your head and continue to brush your mobile phone.

On the way in front of the house, Xiaoyou saw a man sitting on the edge of the curb.

I can't keep my head down. There are about six or seven empty wine bottles lined up next to me.

Under the street lamp, Xiaoyou felt a strong sense of loneliness, hiding in the shadow of the man and the bottle, pulling the dragon.

Midnight in the city is full of alcohol.

This wine is very noisy,

After the noise, it is the loneliness hidden in people's hearts.

In the face of ever-changing times, one side is numb and rigid, and the other side is some kind of madness.

How to be yourself in a world with a single standard of measurement?

How to confirm your existence?

How to find your way forward?

At this point, the significance of reading this book began to stand out:

It may remind you of something that is unusually real but has been ignored for a long time;

Maybe it will let you discover another possibility of life.

What I want to share with my friends today is Xiaoyou's favorite book in recent years, which is from Loneliness Too Noisy by Czech writer Hrabal.

- 02 -

"For thirty-five years, I have been in a pile of waste paper. This is my love story. "

It took Hrabal nearly 20 years to finish this book. He wrote, revised, revised and worked hard.

Hrabal seems to be integrated with Han Jia, the protagonist in the book, and launched a quiet and poetic monologue for this ordinary and even tragic scavenger at the waste paper purchasing station.

There are no ups and downs in the whole novel, and large paragraphs of text are like the monologue of the protagonist Han Jia.

But this world of soliloquy is the spiritual freedom brought by loneliness, which deeply touches Xiaoyou's heart.

Han Jia is a garbage man. He packed old books and newspapers with a baler in the recycling station and sent them to the paper mill for reuse. He has been doing this job for 35 years and has recycled tons of books and papers.

Over the years, Han Jia has collected many treasures and paintings from waste paper piles.

In this way, Lao Zi, Goethe, Heldring, Nietzsche, Rembrandt, Kant, Hegel and Monet entered Han Jia's spiritual world step by step.

Han Jia fell in love with reading.

In the dirty basement where flies were flying and mice were scurrying about, he read selflessly and entered a free and rich spiritual world.

He is "covered by words";

His head "became a jar full of living water and stagnant water." A little tilt, a lot of pretty good ideas will flow out ";

He said: "When I read, I don't actually read, but put beautiful words in my mouth and sip them like candy and spirits until they dissolve in my body like alcohol";

He said: "The book in my hand is as trembling as the bouquet in the bride's hand before the altar";

This book is the "love story" of Han Jiahe, the protagonist.

- 03 -

Han Jia is a marginal person abandoned by the times, living a life that may not be even life in a dirty place.

In the face of unbearable life, he found inner strength from books, allowing him to witness misfortune and take it lightly. He felt unprecedented freedom in the noisy loneliness.

One of the details that touched Xiaoyou in the book is that Han Jia, the protagonist, wrapped all the books packed and ready to be sent to the paper mill with the drawing paper of Good Morning, Mr Gauguin.

The works of French painter paul gauguin

"I'm very happy, because the car is full of" good morning, Mr Gauguin ". I hope these paintings can make pedestrians happy when trucks pass by. I hope people who see such a truck passing by will be happy. "

It is often at this or that casual moment that art suddenly brings you a strong and beautiful feeling.

Xiaoyou thinks that if he is a pedestrian on that road, he will really feel happy and moved: even the trucks carrying waste paper are full of souls.

There are also fragments of uncle Han Jia's death. When she was buried, Han Jia went to look through Kant's books. His inner monologue at that time was like this:

"I found a book by Kant and turned to a passage that moved me forever:

There are two things that always fill my heart with new and growing surprises-the starry sky above me and the moral law in my heart. ...

However, after thinking about it, I turned to a more touching passage, which Kant wrote when he was young-

On a summer night, under the swaying lights, with a bright moon hanging high, I gradually fell into a mentality of being more sensitive to friendship and dismissive of the world and eternity. "

Finally, Han Jia tore off the page that deeply touched him and put it in his uncle's hand.

Tired of the boring packing work, he would run to read The Kingdom of Heaven for a while:

"In this way, when I was working, my heart was filled with a vast and extremely rich feeling, and endless beauty splashed at me from all directions."

In such a society where everyone is labeled, the spiritual world of a garbage man is far beyond our imagination.

Reading gives Han Jia's real riff-raff a higher meaning.

- 04 -

Xiaoyou is thinking: What is the real power of reading?

Many push reading software is written like this:

Reading is the most effective way to make up for knowledge panic/reading makes people happy/reading makes people elegant. ...

Ha ha.

As the author Hrabal wrote in his book: Writing and reading are intertwined with happiness and pain, and sometimes pain even exceeds happiness. It is completely introverted, and you can't escape it.

In the past, Xiaoyou always avoided those slightly heavy works intentionally or unintentionally, hoping to travel in the so-called beautiful story world.

This book changed Xiaoyou's understanding of reading.

Excellent works, no matter how miserable, will always inject some magical power into your heart after reading them.

Perhaps the real power of reading lies in:

It makes people feel, tremble and even pessimistic.

After feeling full,

It will make you transparent.

The label of an adult makes you put on armor to fight and shoulder all the responsibilities and responsibilities.

This armor,

Maybe it's a "forget it" in your heart,

Maybe you said "yes",

Maybe it's a smile in front of others.

Take off this armor and live day after day. You will always feel tired and bored from the inside out.

Xiaoyou remembered Bai's speech at Anhui University:

"Only 5% of life is wonderful, only 5% is painful, and the remaining 90% is spent in plain.

People are tempted by this 5% wonderful, endure 5% pain and live in this 90% dull. "

Yes, we are all secular people. Secular itself can't create happiness, but only trivial and numb.

The little happiness of life comes from the accidental transcendence of the world.

Small optimal thought, this is probably the most precious meaning of reading to her:

Not to replenish knowledge, not to become elegant, but to transcend the secular world bit by bit, the instantaneous awakening of thought, and the sudden flash of light in life.

Xiaoyou thinks that everyone has his own way to transcend the secular and bring himself that 5% happiness.

Maybe it's practicing calligraphy, painting, cooking a delicious meal, playing a hearty ball, wailing and singing all night, or drinking wine. .......

No matter what happens at this time,

Experience it in noise. When it's noisy,

Think alone when you are lonely.

Just don't be the one who yearns for loneliness in the noise and expects noise in loneliness.

- 05 -

Finally, in the spirit of being responsible for good things, share some words that touched Xiaoyou in the book with friends.

"Noble people are not necessarily nobles, and criminals are not necessarily murderers."

"Because I am lucky to be alone, although I have never been lonely, I am just a person, living alone in dense thoughts, because I am a little arrogant, an arrogant person in infinity and eternity, and infinity and eternity may like people like me."

"Because my knowledge was acquired by accident, I was surprised by Hegel's words. Hegel taught me that the only thing terrible in the world is rigidity, which is a hardened and dying form. The only gratifying thing is that not only individuals, but also human society have regained their youth through struggle and won the right to new life through new forms. "

"I saw Jesus constantly climbing the mountain, and Lao Tzu stood high on the top of the mountain; I saw that young man with a look of excitement and bent on changing the world; However, the old man looked around the world without controversy and outlined his eternal path by returning to the truth. "

"When the last batch of books brought by the last truck was loaded into the car, the train started and drove into the downpour. The convertible is dripping with golden water, mixed with soot and ink.

I stood there, leaning against the marble, stunned by what I saw. When the last carriage disappeared in the rain, the rain on my face was full of tears. "

This is Han Jia's mood when she worked in the recycling station for the last time. Where will the last Han Jia go?

Xiaoyou thought that the ending of the story should be reserved for friends who want to read this book.