Article 1 15 years old.
Zhou An 'an is obsessed with fantasy novels, so obsessed that he forgets to eat and sleep. He imagines himself as a character with strange magic and super energy in the novel, or a hero who sees the rough road and draws his sword to help him. The actual situation is inconsistent with this. He is a timid boy who lacks self-esteem. He usually doesn't dare to speak loudly, whining like a timid mosquito. Walk with your head down like a kitten. Doing things is even more light-handed, and some naughty students in the class nicknamed him "Lady".
This nickname made him angry, extreme and irrational, but he couldn't get rid of it. All his anger, heroism and ideals can only be vented and realized in those martial arts and fantasy novel.
In class, he peeked under his desk. When he came home from school, he hid under the covers and continued to study hard with a flashlight. He even handcuffed fantasy novel to his mobile phone and went to the toilet.
Once in class, he studied hard under the table. The Chinese teacher told him to get up and answer the question, but he didn't hear him. His deskmate nudged him. He stood up and looked around blankly for a long time before saying, "Teacher, I didn't sleep." The students burst into laughter, and his face burned like a colorful cloud on the horizon, showing several colors and constantly changing.
His grades naturally got out of hand. After school, the teacher called him to the office, locked his brow and said, "Zhou Anan, call the parents!" " At this rate, you will accomplish nothing. "
Although the teacher's voice is not loud, it still makes him tremble.
Zhou Anan is a child who grew up in a single-parent family and has never seen his father since he was a child. Mother is a very strong woman, with a loud voice and in a hurry. She sells clothes in the market and develops a strong style like a man. She has high expectations for Zhou An 'an, hoping that he will study hard and be admitted to a good university in the future to win her breath. It can be said that Zhou An 'an is all her ideals and beliefs, and all the support for her to stick to her booth in the market. She often points her finger at Zhou An 'an's forehead and says, "How can you be my son? Not like me at all. "
Although she tries to be gentle and kind when talking to Zhou An-an, Zhou An-an is still afraid of her, which is also the root of his inferiority complex. A large part of his classmates are in private cars, but he is worried about living expenses and tuition fees and tries to save every coin, because as long as he saves a coin, his mother can argue with others less in the market.
He doesn't have lunch with his classmates because his lunch is always empty. He doesn't play ball with his classmates because his sneakers are always sticky.
The teacher said, "An-an zhou, what are you thinking? "
Zhou Anan turned his head with tears in his eyes and whispered, "Teacher, don't tell my mother, ok?" She will tidy up me. "
Yes, every time the teacher asks his parents, Zhou An 'an's mother gets angry. She will pat him with homemade flies and say with tears, "Let you be disobedient, let you fail, let you learn badly and let you fail." It's hard to imagine that a mother who usually visits the market will have so much to say. Zhou Anan is not afraid to fight, but she is afraid to see her mother sad and desperate, and communicate with tears. He was defeated and didn't want to talk back.
The teacher said, "You don't have to tell your parents, but from today on, you must listen to me."
An-an zhou wanted to think and nodded his head.
The teacher said, let me tell you a story: there was a teenager who was very inferior and unsociable when he was a child. Most of the time he is alone. In fact, he saw other students go to school together, talking and laughing, and he was envious. But he doesn't have the courage to be with others because he is different from others. His right hand has six fingers, and his classmates often make fun of him and call him six fingers. Later, a beautiful girl in the class took the initiative to go to school with him and cast her admiring eyes on him, because his academic performance was excellent, and almost every subject reached a level that others could not reach. Because of the appreciation of that beautiful girl, he abandoned inferiority and cowardice and ignited the best time in his youth with enthusiasm and self-confidence. Later he became a teacher. Do you know that?/You know what? That teenager is me.
After the teacher finished, he held out his hand: "Look, this is my hand with six fingers on the blackboard with chalk every day." In fact, this is beyond the reach of human resources, and there is no need to feel inferior. Just like you, you can't choose your own background and what kind of family you choose, so there is no need to feel inferior at all. "
That time, after a long talk with the teacher in the office, Zhou An 'an changed a lot. What is youth? Youth is actually a flower rain, which looks magnificent and colorful. In fact, there is an undercurrent in it. Cross it, and youth will bloom with beautiful colors.
At noon, Zhou An no longer hides in the corner alone. He will calmly sit with his classmates with a lunch box. Although the food in the lunch box is not very rich, it is a mother's concern. He finally realized that what he wanted to compare was not what was in the lunch box, but the profoundness of maternal love.
After school, he no longer deliberately fell behind his classmates. The classmate has a private car to pick him up, so does he, and his mother's bike. 15-year-old Zhou Anan sat in the back seat of her mother's bicycle, telling stories about the school along the way and giving out hearty laughter.
On the school playground, Zhou Anan is no longer timid. He plays sports with his classmates. Maybe his posture is not very free and easy, maybe he is not masculine enough, but he is participating and growing.
Zhou Anan never gives up any opportunities for growth. Occasionally, some classmates laughed at the way he used to stay in the martial arts fantasy novel. He would laugh it off and wave his hand at will.
Inferiority is actually just a comma in youth. If you pause occasionally, you will surpass the past, because life always keeps moving forward and comes to a place where you can see the light.
Time flies, Zhou An 'an, who was admitted to high school, has already grown from a pale and melancholy teenager to a lively and cheerful wind-chasing teenager. He has unloaded the armor that he found in the virtual world to arm himself and trample on his inferiority.
The development of the body makes him look no longer as delicate as bean sprouts, but handsome and elegant; You can often see his sunny figure on the sports field, and the three-pointer is particularly beautiful, which makes many girls applaud it; In the school speech contest, he was even more eloquent and quoted classics, which made people sit up and take notice. Who would have thought that this is the timid boy who can only hide in the virtual world.
In fact, every teenager will have such a period of time that he is willing to hide in the virtual world and imagine himself as an ideal role to make up for the shortcomings in reality. As long as we can adjust our pace in time and get out of confusion, the future is still sunny.
We were all 18 years old then. Eighteen years old, flower-like age, full of longing and hope for the future, full of curiosity and affection for the opposite sex. At the age of eighteen, I am slim and graceful, and I am envied by many boys in my class. But I'm not interested in boys who are nice to me.
Like all the girls in my class, I secretly like Yang Jun. Yang Jun is the monitor, good at studying, tall and handsome. Occasionally I saw a girl talking to him on purpose. When he was so nervous that he didn't know where to put it, his forehead was sweating and his face was red, my heart beat wildly for no reason. In this society, there are fewer and fewer boys blushing, and he is still so handsome.
In the third year of high school, the teacher repeatedly stressed that puppy love is not allowed and has been preaching the harm caused by puppy love. There are clear boundaries between boys and girls in the class, and no one dares to cross the line easily. The senior of the last xx session was finally dropped out of school because of the exposure of underground love. Although I am extroverted, I dare not openly show my affection for Yang Jun. I am eighteen years old, and I don't know what love is, but I like to secretly observe his feelings, as if there is an invisible line wrapped around my heart, and I can't figure it out.
But I can't be discovered by my classmates, especially teachers, that I like Yang Jun. I can only silently like him in my heart. But in class and in public, many times, I deliberately opposed Yang Jun and let him down. Every class meeting, when monitor Yang Jun says "East", I say "West". He said he would organize the whole class to go on an outing, so I said it would be better to have a candlelight party at school to relieve the study pressure. Actually, I don't mean any harm, but I hope to attract Yang Jun's attention. I have always felt that Yang Jun is arrogant and arrogant, and never takes me seriously. Although many boys are kind to me, I never turn a blind eye and give them a good look. Eighteen-year-old girl, lofty and arrogant, how can she tolerate the boy she likes turning a blind eye to herself? I always walk past him gracefully and always smile at him gently, but he doesn't respond at all. I took great pains to get his attention. However, the feeling of playing the devil's advocate is not good, which goes against my will, especially when I see Yang Jun at a loss and frowning. But, apart from this, I don't know what else can attract his attention.
Every time Yang Jun is refuted by me, she seems helpless. How can he speak too eloquently to me? Sometimes he will argue. The more anxious he is, the more embarrassed he is. If he doesn't speak fluently, he will be angry and depressed. He doesn't understand why I always aim at him, go against him and embarrass him.
As graduation approaches, it becomes more and more difficult for me to control my love for Yang Jun. I know that I may miss this pure feeling after graduation. I hope he can understand my mind. So, I spent an evening racking my brains and wrote a love letter to Yang Jun, which was the first "love letter" in my life. I thought I would graduate soon. Even if I am rejected by Yang Jun, it doesn't matter. No one will find out my secret.
I slipped the letter into Yang Jun's book and pretended as if nothing had happened, but my eyes were staring at his every move nervously. When I saw him find the letter, my heart beat wildly. Yang Jun secretly opened the letter and read it under a book. After reading the letter, he turned to look at me. I was filled with joy, blushed and bowed my head, and dared not look at him. After a class, I couldn't calm down at all, thinking about what Yang Jun would write back again and again. Does he like himself?
Finally, I stayed up until the bell rang. I lay on my desk and looked at the clear sky outside the window. I was very happy. I thought Yang Jun would pass me the note soon. But after school, I was waiting for a severe scolding from the class teacher. The head teacher is a middle-aged woman with harsh words. She criticized me for not respecting myself and loving myself. I knew to write love letters to boys since I was a child, and finally asked me to go back and invite my parents. I didn't expect this result. I was so scared that I burst into tears and hated Yang Jun very much.
I took the initiative to write a love letter to Yang Jun, which soon spread around the school. Girls no longer talk to me, saying that I am frivolous; The boys gave me a wide berth. Suddenly, I became the most famous girl in the school and the object of ridicule. Walking on campus, my back is like a mountain. Even when I go home, I feel that my neighbors are pointing at my back. My parents are ashamed to be with me, too. To this end, my father also gave me a good beating and locked me in my room and wouldn't let me go out.
In those days, I seemed to fall into hell at once. Looking back many years later, I still regret it. I didn't take the college entrance examination, and the school ordered me to drop out of school automatically because of this. After leaving school, I went to work in the factory of a distant relative. I can't go to school anymore, and my college dream is shattered. I hate Yang Jun. Even if he doesn't like me, he doesn't need to give my love letter to the teacher, and he doesn't need to spread it around to ruin my reputation. I was 18 years old, and all my dreams were shattered because of that love letter.
Whose youth has never been touched? How could I have thought that youth is so cruel, and a love letter changed the fate of my life.