First of all, pain has the following aspects:
1. Physical pain
The university is in the suburbs (two campuses, junior year in the city), and the traffic is inconvenient. There is no bus. You can't enter the school and community by bike, and you must park at the designated place. It's so tasteless I don't ride at all.
I have to rely on two legs for my daily commute, and I also bought a Didi Monthly Card (take 20 buses, and each trip will be reduced by 3 to 4 yuan) for use when the weather is bad or time is tight.
Because I have to study at night at school and take a nap (it is impossible to sleep in the dormitory, which is one of the reasons why I moved out), I have to go back and forth to school many times, at least 15000 steps a day. If I exercise at school again, I will be relaxed on the 20000 WeChat list.
This kind of exercise combined with heavy mental work makes me very tired every day, and I have to put up with it.
2. Heart tired (most important)
The first semester when I came out to live, the first few days were all fresh, but after a few days, loneliness became my partner.
Throughout my sophomore year, I watched all the movies and ate all the hot pots by myself. Most of the time, only the takeaway brother talks to me every day. Occasionally, I am too tired to oversleep and no one calls me. The biggest concern every day is 10086.
For me, the most terrible thing is to have the goal of postgraduate entrance examination, but there is no corresponding effort. When I first came out to live, I thought about how to work hard every day, but when I really put it into action, I found that I couldn't persist. Because there is no small partner who struggles with me, learn to look downstairs, and people are entertaining themselves. I'm so relaxed. I'm completely different from the one I spent a day in the library.
What follows is the regret that I can't complete the tasks I set for myself every day. I feel extremely tormented every day. Life is miserable every day.
It can be said that in the first semester of renting, I didn't make good use of the free time and space brought by renting.
3. My wallet hurts
My revolutionary parents discussed it and agreed to rent the house. The living expenses are 3,000 yuan per month, and the rent is 1200 (excluding property management, 45-flat houses are occupied by one person). At the beginning, I paid 8400 in one bet and six, and I didn't have any money with me. My father generously gave me 10000 as living expenses in September and travelling expenses for the National Day in June. (There is 100 yuan left after the trip)
But now I'm paying the rent of 7,200 yuan this semester alone, and the pressure is actually quite great, because I must get into the habit of saving money at ordinary times, otherwise it will be difficult to take out so much money at once during my study. So the quality of life has also declined.
Happiness:
Now is the second semester of renting a house. Compared with the first semester, I began to realize what a miserable life is.
1. Health
In the first semester, in order to cultivate my good habits, my mother asked me to take a photo of her house every week, and the photo must be neat and clean.
It was painful at first and I was often scolded, but as soon as this semester came, I found that I would take the initiative to clean and tidy up the house. This is almost impossible under the population density of school dormitories.
2. Personal spiritual realm (most important)
After a semester of pain, I began to treat everything as a kind of practice and learn to accept it.
First of all, I ask myself to do it myself every morning. The advantage of this is that I will force myself to get up early and improve my cooking. The breakfast made has been difficult to swallow at first, but now it can be cooked in different ways and has made great progress. Getting up early brings me more time. After breakfast, I will recite words, read English and then go to school.
Secondly, pay attention to personal spiritual realm. Uninstall all games, and the mobile phone only has the entertainment software of iQiyi. When I am tired of studying, I force myself not to look at my mobile phone and go to school. At first, people were impetuous and it was difficult to finish a book, but gradually, people calmed down. I can't say that reading has brought me much benefit, but it has really enriched my spiritual realm.
Then, I developed my own rhythm, not shaken by the outside world, and put early to bed and early to rise in place. Now I can find something to do, study, brush Zhihu and study every day. After a little less anxiety and impetuousness, I found my learning ability improved and became more efficient.
Generally speaking, my biggest change now is my attitude towards loneliness. I resisted loneliness, and as a result, I was very painful and made no progress. Now, I enjoy loneliness and create my own world with loneliness, with clear goals and practical actions.