First, parents should keep up with the development of "children's society". Although parents came from childhood, today's children are faced with a developed online world and a colorful entertainment world. Parents should "adapt" to the changes in this social environment. In order to educate children and get close to them, we should take the initiative to learn and get in touch with them. For example, I often go online to see what my children like, often take my children to watch TV and find a common language with them. Only when children think you are friends will they have feelings and be close to you.
Secondly, parents expect too much from their children, which often leads to their disgust. Judging from the results of years of education, many students with good academic performance are not forced by their parents or seen by their parents. Children should have an environmental atmosphere in their studies, and in addition, they should have certain talents. There is only one Einstein and one Newton in the world. Students with poor academic performance are not outstanding. Parents should pay attention to cultivating their children's talents in a certain aspect, not just improving their academic performance.
Expert opinion: Parents should not "selfless dedication" to their children.
The only child has difficulty communicating with his parents, and both sides have certain reasons. Yang Hongze, director of the Department of Humanities and Social Sciences and associate professor of psychology at Liaoning University of Science and Technology, believes that emotional education for children is the responsibility of both parents and schools, but there are often some misunderstandings in the education process. As long as everyone comes out of the misunderstanding, communication will be a kind of enjoyment and happiness.
Family myth: love doesn't give you anything you want.
Since most families are only children now, parents have spared no effort to treat this only child, providing him with food, clothing, housing and transportation, and providing him with whatever he wants. Work hard and contribute selflessly in children's daily life and diet. Don't you know that this way of education and raising sends a misleading signal to children, which makes them feel that everything their parents have done is right.
Secondly, many parents put their dreams of life and future hopes on their children, and put all their energy on them. As a result, they have no outstanding performance in their work and no personal hobbies in their lives. And mediocre parents ask their children to excel, which is also unacceptable to children. Parents should never lose themselves and let their children feel that their parents deserve respect.
Secondly, after paying for their children, many parents think that children should obey their parents in everything, which is also a reward for their parents. Don't you know that it is this misunderstanding that makes children "obedient", which leads to the growing gap between parents and children.
School misunderstanding: ignoring emotional education
Judging from the school education of primary and secondary school students, we generally focus on children's academic performance, and quality education is still relatively weak. The real quality education is to cultivate children's "knowledge (knowledge), emotion (affection), ambition (will) and behavior", but in fact, the school aims to train children to go to key high schools and key universities, ignoring other aspects of children's education, especially emotional aspects, which leads children to mistakenly think that learning well means being worthy of their parents and everyone, and learning badly is a useless person.
A good way to communicate: look for similarities.
In social communication, different people have different ages, hobbies, opinions and so on. Even in the communication between adults, there are some obstacles that are difficult to communicate. It is also a common phenomenon that only children have difficulty communicating with their parents. Therefore, finding similarities between them is a "norm" that children and parents should abide by.
To improve communication, parents should first guide their children's lives, not design their children's lives, that is, don't force their children to do things according to their parents' wishes. It is often difficult for parents to accept that what children do is not what children should not do. Secondly, parents should not always meet all the requirements of their children, but encourage their children to realize their wishes with personal efforts, so that they can treat them correctly when they encounter setbacks in the future.
For children, parents' experience and parents' experience are inexhaustible knowledge. It will be of great benefit to children to actively communicate with their parents and accumulate knowledge and experience.