This is my story.
After failing the college entrance examination twice, I was admitted to the Department of Western Languages and Literature in Peking University with 1980. During the period, I was suspended from school for one year due to illness. After graduation, I stayed in Beijing University as an English teacher. 199 1 In September, I resigned from Peking University and entered the field of private education, and worked in some private schools in Beijing. 1993 165438+1October16, as principal. Starting from the first dozens of students, the entrepreneurial course of New Oriental began. New Oriental Education Technology Group was established on 200 1 and successfully listed on new york Stock Exchange on September 7th, 2006.
These experiences are similar to Cheng's, but during this period, I experienced humiliation, loneliness, failure and the hardships of starting a business, as well as the cruel reality and complicated feelings that various film artists could not fully express.
In "Chinese Partner", in order to catch up with Su Mei, the first beauty in the law department, Cheng climbed a telephone pole to create romance, and then rowed in an unknown lake to express his confession. Unexpectedly, in order to refuse him, Samui jumped into the lake and got pneumonia. Cheng contracted tuberculosis during his visit and dropped out of school for one year. Samui also got a visa to go to the United States for further study and stayed in the United States. Cheng has never been married since he founded the "New Dream" English Training School, and devoted his "sexual life to the speech".
Looking back on my love life, it's much worse. In five years of college life, I have never been in love. During my five years in Peking University, no girl ever loved me. The ugliest girls in our class have all received love letters, which were written by me. It was not until one year after I graduated from college that I began to fall in love for the first time and met my present wife. My wife's nagging is also a factor in her giving up teaching and going into business. Some of my friends earn more money, and my wife wants me to be more successful. She thinks I am a failure compared with them.
In the late 1980s, when the tide of going abroad was the hottest, Cheng and his partners hoped to study in the United States after graduating from college. Meng Xiaojun got the visa unexpectedly, but Cheng, who was born in the countryside, was refused. "The American people don't need you for the time being." In the following years, Cheng was refused a visa by the United States twice.
The reality is that after I graduated from Peking University, I was admitted to many American universities, but none of them offered me scholarships. I don't have that much money. If someone gives me a scholarship, I will study anything, even religion. In order to save enough money to study in the United States, I became a tutor in my spare time and finally founded the New Oriental English Training School.
The movie is wonderful, but the reality is more cruel. No matter how similar and different I am from Cheng in the movie, we all have some common characteristics: self-improvement, positive progress, dreams and hopes, no matter how hard life is.
In the movie, Cheng once said: A dream is something that keeps you going and makes you feel particularly happy. I think dreams are things that will make you cry in the future.
Whether it's Cheng or me, I think we're just the epitome of Qian Qian's thousands of strugglers. I hope you can get the motivation to move on from Cheng's story and my life experience.
I am often asked questions about success.
I never consider myself successful, so I usually don't want to talk about success. If I succeed, it is only because I have made some achievements at a certain point. It is too early to say that anyone alive has succeeded. There is a simple reason. Anyone who is alive will continue his life, and no one can predict his future. No matter how strong a person is, it is impossible to predict whether his spirit will collapse one day in the future; No matter how fragile a person is, it is impossible to predict whether he will become strong one day. Many people were praised and touted by the media, but in the end they were suddenly exposed by the media with a lot of negative news; Many people have been questioned by history, but they all proved to be real heroes in the end.
Therefore, for us, success is very simple, that is, keep moving forward.
Once, on the campus of Yale University, I saw a student's T-shirt with a sentence written on it in big red, called "Success is never final", which means success has no end. Cao Xueqin is successful, because no matter which era will admit that he is one of the greatest writers in China history; Newton succeeded, because no matter which country will admit that Newton is one of the greatest scientists in human history. After these people die and the coffins are sealed, we can talk about success. This is why the living can't talk about success.
People often say, "Mr. Yu, you are successful in being a New Oriental." I said, "Wrong, New Oriental is doing things every day and trying to do things well, but it can't be called success."
I am in this position, any failure may be infinitely magnified, and any success may be infinitely magnified, so it is no longer valid. In the face of untrue things, as a party, I must have a calm and full understanding. If I really put on airs and think of myself as a successful person, then I'm finished. You must think of yourself as an ordinary person. There is a simple reason. I have considered the day when New Oriental failed or was regarded as a negative textbook by society. What kind of mentality can I face this reality? In fact, this reflects whether I have the quality of a champion.
I think I should have such qualities after so much experience. What will happen to me if that day comes? I'm not sure, but I have such a mentality to make such preparations now. If New Oriental goes bankrupt, I will continue to tell you the story of New Oriental, but the title will be changed to "How did I make New Oriental disappear". This topic should be of much greater guiding significance to everyone.
People can only gain real experience and lessons from failures and mistakes, and success only brings a packaged illusion. A thing done smoothly cannot be called success; If you dare to hold your head high in front of a lot of failed bones, this is success. Therefore, we should remember that success is endless.
At present, the whole society has a shallow view of success. When people are rich, no one will ask how the money came from, but only think that being rich is success, so if you are on the rich list, people will think you are more or less powerful. In a sense, wealth is only one of the standards to measure success, but it is not an absolute standard. If we all take wealth as the criterion of success, we may lose our soul and spirit in the future.
When you really focus on money, money may not come to you. The success of New Oriental is entirely due to the help of friends, and it is definitely not the result of your own efforts.
A true friend must be someone who shares my interests in the value system and hobbies or can let me learn. Although I don't have any skills, all my friends are people with higher level than me, and I can learn a lot from these friends.
The real take-off of New Oriental is the result of inviting a group of foreign friends back after I have laid a good foundation for New Oriental. And this group of friends, most of whom I met when I was at Peking University. When I was in Peking University, my academic performance was not good, so I generally didn't make friends as a leader, but as a consultant and a student, that is, I approached others with a humble attitude. As long as you don't ask too much, others are willing to accept you into their circle, so I entered some people's circles. Among the other three founders of New Oriental, he was the monitor of our class and the Communist Youth League Secretary at that time, and he was my western music history teacher, sleeping in my upper bunk, although he was not a class cadre.
Yu,, people
Why should I make friends with them?
First of all, these three people have good personalities, which is the premise. Secondly, all three of them are better than me in a certain field. For example, Wang Qiang is very talented in many aspects, has a strong imitation ability, and has a high level of Chinese and English. He has been the stationmaster of Peking University Radio for four years. I can't learn any of this. But I learned about his reading energy. When he was in Peking University, he divided his living expenses into two parts, half for food stamps and the other half for books. Even if he used up all the food stamps, he wouldn't spend the money on books. If there is really no meal ticket, he will borrow it, and if he can't borrow it, he will "steal". I think this spirit is worth learning. I was a state grant and went to 22 yuan every month. I also divided the money in half, 1 1 yuan for dinner, 1 1 yuan for books. I don't know much about buying books, so I followed Wang Qiang at that time, and I bought whatever books he bought, so I got into the habit of buying books and reading.
Bao Fanyi shared a dormitory with me, and I learned the most important thing from him, which completely shaped my character. Bao is a person with a strong spirit of self-criticism. His father is a professor of China ancient literature in Zhejiang University, so his ancient prose is very good. According to him, he can recite Li Sao at the age of five and finish reading Jin Ping Mei at the age of eight. An 8-year-old who has read Jin Ping Mei thoroughly must have seen through life by the age of 18. He has a 40-year-old self-critical spirit.
Bao is such a person that he can expose all his physical and psychological defects to you and then let you check them. It takes a lot of courage. But after all put out, he himself has no psychological burden. I can't say anything if you want to. That's who I am. I am right in front of you. I am so real.
But the problem is that our group of talents just came of age, and he came of age at the age of eight, which is psychologically unbearable for us. We really want to protect our face and let others talk about our strengths and weaknesses, but he can find out all your weaknesses, the dark side of your heart, so you have no hiding place, so we are in extreme pain and fight back when we are in pain, so our dormitory has formed an atmosphere of mutual attack, irony and even insult. In the end, everyone found it boring to attack each other, so they abused themselves. You said you were a pig, and I said I was worse than a pig. As a result, our dormitory spent four years criticizing each other.
New Oriental has a particularly famous culture, which is critical culture and mocking culture. New Oriental does not praise any meeting. It must be to find out each other's shortcomings and mistakes and criticize them severely. As a result, after these guys came back from abroad, I have never been the person in their eyes until today. But I respect them very much because they have created so many achievements in New Oriental. There is no pity in criticizing each other, but it is good to do so: the ugly words are said before, and there is no gossip behind, so everyone can be more United.
Actually, it's good to have a group of friends around. My reading spirit, my ideological spark and Bao's critical spirit have left a profound influence on me and shaped my character. Having friends around you who are worthy of communication can broaden your mind, make you more knowledgeable and have deeper thoughts. Never make friends who only drink and eat meat and can't bring meaning to your life.
My wife takes care of the children at home. Every time my son falls down or bumps into furniture and starts to cry, my wife always slaps the furniture with her feet or hands and says, "I'll kill you, I'll kill you, and then I'll ask you to bully our baby." The son looked at his mother's performance and slowly stopped crying. This is to guide children to shirk their responsibilities. Through this kind of guidance, children have formed a habitual thinking since childhood, thinking that all responsibilities and consequences are pushed to others and they do not bear any mistakes. Therefore, the fall is the fault of the ground, the collision is the fault of the furniture, the teacher's fault for not studying well, the neighbor's fault for not getting along well, and the boss's fault for not working well ... Finally, all the faults can be blamed on others, and all the complaints can be vented on others. The only thing that is not wrong is yourself.
Many people have developed this habitual thinking since childhood, so we rarely see people around us have the habit of admitting mistakes, and we rarely hear others say, "I'm sorry, it's my fault." The most direct consequence of this is that many people seriously lack the sense of responsibility and courage to take responsibility, and finally lead people to lose their ability to reflect: since it is not my fault, I don't have to take responsibility; Since it's not my fault, I don't need to reflect.
Reflection is an act of self-reflection, and only when you feel that you are not doing well enough will you reflect. It doesn't matter if a person has no ability to reflect, only he suffers. Without the ability to reflect, a group of people will blame each other, undermine each other and intrigue. In the end, they will destroy the cooperative team and the cause that everyone is fighting for. The story of "three monks have no water to eat" and the saying that "one China person is a dragon and three China people are worms" show that China people lack team spirit and responsibility. If a nation lacks the ability to reflect, it is a nation that lacks courage and is close to depravity. I read in the newspaper that gangsters insulted women on long-distance buses, and a car full of people turned a blind eye; Or people who fall into the river drown, and people who can swim have to pay for help, which can't help but make me sweat all over.
Therefore, it is the most important task for parents in China and education in China to teach children to take responsibility and face life bravely from an early age. This task is a hundred times more important than simply teaching students knowledge.
In the process of practicing walking, my son kept falling and hitting the furniture. However, I have forbidden my lover to comfort children by stamping the ground and knocking on furniture. Instead, encourage the child to get up and bear the consequences by himself, and use the language that makes him brave: "Baby, get up by yourself!" Look, you can definitely get up by yourself. Don't cry, baby. Very brave. Don't cry when it hurts. Baby is the best man. "In tears, my son finally got up by himself and took a step that was not steady enough, but from this step, I was pleased to see his new courage.
When it comes to "change" and what it means to change yourself, I am a good example.
Some people take the initiative to change their life trajectory, others are passive, and I am forced to change my life trajectory.
Although I left Peking University passively, every decision and change I made today was an active choice. I changed from a passive person to an active person. A positive person is a person who can better control his own destiny.
There is a book called Who Moved My Cheese? Who moved my cheese? ), issued 6.5438 million copies in North America, and sold 2 million copies in China in just a few weeks. This is a thin book, a small fable. Why do you sell so much?
This story is about two little mice and two dwarfs. Two little mice, one anxious and the other sniffing; Two dwarfs, one named Hem and the other named Haw. Two little mice and two dwarfs set out together to find cheese in the maze. They are sure that there is cheese in the maze, but no one knows where it is. After searching and searching, they finally found cheese in a house in the maze. Everyone was very happy to share these cheeses and ate them together for many days.
Suddenly one morning, they found that there was no cheese at all. Did you lose it? Or was it stolen, robbed and taken away? Or was it hidden? Or was it eaten by one of them? No one can understand. But the truth is, the cheese is gone. Faced with this fact, two little mice and two dwarfs made different reactions. The two little mice have the fastest reaction and think the problem is simple. Since there is no cheese, they must look for new cheese. There is no point in wasting time in this room without cheese. So two little mice put on their schoolbags, set out to find new cheese, and finally found new cheese.
Hem and Haw are two dwarfs, but they are different. People's minds are complicated, so I think over and over again why cheese will be gone and will it reappear one day? I wonder how the world can be so unfair. I finally found some cheese and haven't eaten it yet. They tried to find the lost cheese, but found nothing. Haw finally realized that there must be no cheese. If he didn't find new cheese, he would starve to death, so he made up his mind to look for new cheese, too. After some efforts, I finally found a new cheese like two little mice. And the man named Hem stayed in the old place, complaining about the unfairness of the world to him every day, digging the ground and digging the foundation every day, and finally got nothing.
What this story wants to express is what kind of action a person should take in the face of change. When you find that what you have is gone, you must hurry to find something new. We often don't want to admit the fact that the life we live now has become a hollowed-out gold mine. Although we have gained something, we must change it now, or we will get nothing for life.
Please put aside the past and move towards the future. Although the future is uncertain, there must be something new waiting for you. The opportunities in the world are endless, and so are the possibilities for you to find them. But as long as you stop trying, your life will shrink
199 1 year, I was kicked out of Peking University and felt as if I had fallen into an ice hole. Peking University took back my house the next day. When I came out of Peking University, I had no money and no house to live in. What should we do?
When people are forced to a certain extent, they will have courage and wisdom, and they will change from passive to active.
As a person who seldom leaves the gate of Peking University like me, I suddenly got up the courage to go to the countryside around Peking University to find a house. There is a place called Liulangzhuang in the west of Peking University, which is said to be the place where Yang Liulang resisted gold in those days. I wandered around the village, finally found a farmer who was willing to rent a house, and negotiated a monthly rent of around 50 yuan. 50 yuan was a considerable expense at that time. My salary at Peking University at that time was 120 yuan for one month.
After the talk, I found a child in the landlord's house doing his homework. I think I can make an exchange with the landlord. If I help the children with their homework, maybe the rent can be waived. I told the landlord that I would tutor your children to the first 65,438+00 of the class. Can you waive my rent? Unexpectedly, he readily agreed, because his family is not very poor and will not wait for the rent. The education of children is much more important than the rent.
I lived in his house for a year and a half. I go out to class every night. My wife tutored his son, and as a result, he tutored his son to the top five in his class. Later, when we moved out, the peasant couple wouldn't let us move out, saying that we should live in the first room and continue to tutor our children. Of course, we moved away later, but the two families have become good friends since then.
This incident illustrates two points: first, it takes courage to find opportunities; Second, God never shuts one door but he opens another, and no matter how difficult it is, there will be a way out.
Nowadays, young people are facing all kinds of problems. As long as I remember the above two points, life will definitely get better gradually. Believe in yourself, believe that you can get out of trouble, believe that you can create wealth and achievements, believe that you can do what others can do, and believe that the world is still bright. In addition, we must go deep into society and know others.
A person's most terrible darkness is inner darkness, a person's most terrible soul is a closed soul, and a person's most desperate state is to lose trust in others. Only by actively understanding others and making friends with others can we have a brighter life and more opportunities.
Sometimes you will find that if you keep your head down and go straight ahead, you will unconsciously surpass your goal. I still remember that when I got the admission notice from Peking University, I smiled and cried, just like Fan Jinzhong. If I hadn't insisted, maybe I would still be a farmer now.
At that time, there was a person in our village who took the exam for two years like me. I told him to take the senior three exam together, but his mother said not to take the exam and find a woman to get married. I told my mother to let me take the exam for another year, and I was really admitted in the third year. So I come to two conclusions: first, people must run forward, not necessarily fast, but for a long time; Second, we can't stop. You can't fish for three days and dry the net for two days. You must insist.
From the day of college entrance examination to today, I have never been lazy, and I still have to work for nearly 16 hours every day. The story of the race between the tortoise and the hare is often reflected in life. Fast runners often stop, and slow runners can't stop running just because they are slow. As long as you run, you will reach your destination sooner or later.
Once, a friend asked me who went further in my life, the horse or the camel. I think it must be a horse. He said my answer was wrong. Camels walk more roads than horses. The reason is that the horse will stop running for a while, but sticking to the goal and going all the way is the characteristic of the camel. Once a camel starts to walk, it won't stop unless it stops.
A wise man's achievements in his life are not necessarily more than those created by fools, because fools are creating every day, and a wise man may stop creating for a while. Even a super genius like Einstein was considered an idiot when he was a child. Einstein couldn't speak until he was 9 years old. Fortunately, he has a good mother who always thinks he is a genius. So when my son was 4 years old and could not speak, and my wife was anxious to take him everywhere to see a doctor, I said, "Don't look at the doctor. It is normal not to talk at the age of 4. " My wife said, "Why is it normal?" I said: "Being unable to speak means that the language function is not fully developed, and it does not mean that the brain is underdeveloped. Zhu Yuanzhang became emperor at the age of seven. Our son can't speak at the age of 4, and he will at least be the county party secretary in the future. "
Life is an elegant journey. It is better to run for a long time than to run fast.
When I was in primary school and middle school, there were only a few thin textbooks, and other books were even scarce. The library can't borrow it, nor can the bookstore buy it. Therefore, I had to read the textbook over and over again and carefully wrap my schoolbag with newspaper. The pages inside are all turned over, and the cover of the book is as good as new. Because there are no other books to read, I recite the texts from Chinese books again and again, from "It's raining for Xiaojie" to "Who is the cutest person" and then back to "The True Story of Ah Q"-up to now, every text is still engraved in my heart.
Now, in addition to Chinese, students have to study math, physics, chemistry, biology, English and other subjects. If they don't study, they will fall behind the times. As a result, their knowledge is much wider than that of the ancients, but from practice to lifelong use, they are far behind the ancients, because most students study for the exam and forget it after the exam. Learning is no longer for lifelong benefit. After passing the examination threshold, the knowledge you have learned can be thrown away like a stepping stone.
After entering the university, I have never experienced the joy of slowly reciting one text after another and reciting endless fun when I was a child. In college, I found that my classmates were competing to read books like a 100-meter sprint, reading one book after another. We don't compare who has studied which book thoroughly, but how many books we have read. As long as you can write down the title, author and content summary, bragging back to the dormitory is victory. As a result, I read a lot of books in college, and almost no important ideas in any book can be easily quoted.
Now that I think about it, if I hadn't been so vain to catch up with my classmates' reading in college, but read a few books in a down-to-earth way, my knowledge level and ideological depth might be different now. Lincoln spent his whole life reading the Bible and Shakespeare, and he didn't read any other books. Therefore, his thoughts are equally great and extensive. Of course, I don't mean that it is enough for everyone to read only a few books in his life, but that while reading extensively, he really needs to read a few books intensively and even recite them, so as to achieve spiritual understanding.
When I was in college, I also tried my best to learn English. I passed one textbook after another. As a result, I have studied for many years, and my English level is still the level of Pidgin. Think about our generation of teachers in the 1930s and 40s. After entering the church school, they took a Bible and recited it over and over again, regardless of religious significance. A few years later, a Bible was thoroughly translated, and their English level passed the lifelong test.
I remember when I was in college, I was filled with respect when I heard our teacher's elegant pronunciation and confident slowness when reading English. Imagine what a magical state it would be to be able to speak English so fluently without recording equipment or repetition facilities at that time. Now that we have all the learning facilities, it is difficult to learn English well. What is the reason? But we didn't focus on one point, and we didn't catch any point. Of course, comprehensiveness will be difficult to grasp.
Nowadays, children have too many choices, which is good or bad for them. The good thing is that you are well informed and have many opportunities. The bad thing is that you no longer focus on it. You are often half-hearted. Have it both ways constantly changed the direction of his life and work, and finally lost his direction and life.
A friend of mine made a survey to see how many college students like their major, and more than half don't. In the past, all majors in universities were assigned, so it is understandable if you don't like them. Nowadays, students choose their own majors, so it is very wrong not to like them. But the worse is yet to come. Many students changed their favorite majors because they didn't like it. Results The survey found that half of the students who changed their major still didn't like their major. It can be seen that college students are at a loss in the face of countless opportunities. Looking back, I think our college life was happier at that time. The country has assigned you a major. Do you want to study or not? As a result, you have to try to like learning. Later, many people became outstanding talents in the professional field. As Churchill said, a man does not lie in what he likes to do, but in learning to like what he is doing.
To achieve anything, you need to make great efforts. Sometimes what many people seem to like, once you have to work hard, will be discouraged. I have a friend who likes listening to piano music. He envies people who can play the piano to death. Later, when he finally had time and money, he made up his mind to learn the piano and hired a good teacher. Two months later, he completely collapsed and gave up.
Therefore, liking one thing and doing one thing well are completely different. The premise of doing a good job requires great efforts and painstaking efforts. I didn't like it because I was forced by life when I first started to do New Oriental. There are several people who started a business with me at the same time. In the end, they couldn't bear loneliness and hard work and gave up halfway. But I have nothing else to do, and I am not smart enough, so I can only stick to it. Finally, I made a mistake and became New Oriental. I like it.
The time of our life is not infinite, nor are the things we can do. If we can explore the world constantly, broaden our horizons and read widely, and at the same time concentrate on ourselves, read a few books wholeheartedly, study a major wholeheartedly, do a career wholeheartedly and love a person wholeheartedly, it will be a very happy thing.
When you climb a mountain to a certain extent, you will feel exhausted and never want to climb another step. But as long as you grit your teeth and stick to it, you will feel comfortable all over after a while, and the fun of climbing mountains will naturally come. After running for a while, you will feel exhausted, but as long as you grit your teeth and stick to it, you will feel comfortable breathing after a while and your legs will seem to run automatically. The courage to keep running will become an easy inertia to run forward, and after running down, you can run far away.
Whether climbing a mountain or running, the moment you bite the bullet is the critical point for you to do something. If you can persist, you will survive the critical point and enter a new realm, no longer afraid to face longer and more difficult challenges, and gain a sense of physical and mental pleasure, accomplishment and self-confidence in the process of meeting challenges.
In learning, we will also encounter a critical point, which is a spiritual critical point. It's not as obvious as the critical point of the body, but it's more difficult to pass. Because it will last longer, people need more inner courage.
To succeed in work and career, we need the courage to break through the critical point and the endurance to persist. Many people are impetuous at work and always feel that they are doing small things. In fact, it is absolutely impossible for a person who can't even do small things well to do big things. Whether he can finish something seriously is the basic sign of a person's success.
There is a story about a man who searched for gold everywhere, rummaged through a piece of land he owned, found nothing, and finally sold it in despair. The people who bought his land just dug down a few shovels and dug up gold on the original basis.
Another story is about a man who dug a well, but he didn't dig water from ten wells. In fact, every time he digs a well, as long as he goes down one meter, there is an inexhaustible underground river waiting for him-"He who travels a hundred miles is half ninety", and ninety is the critical point.
Things in the world are often easy to start, but it is difficult to have a happy ending. Because perfection means that you have to go the whole course, that you have to go through thousands of difficulties and obstacles, that you never give up when you are bruised all over, that you will still be kind-hearted after being hurt, that you will grit your teeth when you reach the critical point, and continue to drag your tired legs forward until your body and mind are United for the same goal.
If we can't cross the critical point of life, we will suffer failure; To cross the critical point of life, we need to bear more. However, as long as you can endure the darkest moment before dawn, the sun will surely raise a brilliant morning glow for you and rush to the east.