Why is the dormitory relationship getting worse? No matter in high school or university, as long as several people live under the same roof, all kinds of frictions will certainly occur. The following are the reasons why the dormitory relationship is getting worse. Come and have a look.
Why is the dormitory relationship getting worse? 1 reasons for the bad relationship in university dormitories
1, compare. The dormitory is the place where * * * lives together. Naturally, they bow their heads but don't look up. Most people will have a heart of comparison, so it is easy to cause contempt and competition under unequal status.
2. jealousy. Jealousy here refers to feelings. Roommates are paired, and you are alone. Are you jealous?
3. Living habits. Everyone's living habits are different. Some people love cleanliness, some people are lazy, some people are obsessive-compulsive, and some people are casual, which will naturally lead to some contradictions.
4. Three views are different. People with different views are difficult to get along with. For example, if you think love is paramount, the other person likes to play with feelings. Needless to say, you hate each other. You treat feelings as a game, but the other person is very traditional. You must think the other person is boring.
You like to spend money to enjoy, and the other person loves money like life; You are bent on studying, and the other person only knows how to have fun ... and so on. This is the three views.
5. Different sexual orientation. You are of the opposite sex, and the other person is of the same sex, so naturally you look down on each other.
Why is the dormitory relationship getting worse? What should I do if the dormitory relationship is not good?
Roommates with different personalities all over the world will inevitably have friction under one roof, so the importance of tolerance has to be mentioned here. While tolerating the shortcomings of others, it is also a growth of one's own mentality.
It is a fact that the dormitory relationship is not good, and it is a matter of finding a roommate. Generally speaking, if you have a bad relationship with other roommates, it is probably your own problem. For example, are you too selfish to care about other people's feelings? Or are you so unsociable that no one dares to pay attention to you anymore? Find out where these problems are, and then try to ease the relationship. If it is an individual roommate's personality problem, you can also take the initiative to help him integrate and create a harmonious dormitory relationship. After all, you are not together for a day or two, but roommates under the same roof for several years.
How to improve dormitory relationship
Take the initiative to help roommates
For example, when it's convenient to help roommates fetch water together, as long as you insist on it several times, you will definitely feel something in your heart. But you can't ask for a return just because you pay, so paying with a purpose will gain and lose, and it will also make you feel unhappy.
Control emotion
Roommates, unlike parents, will not tolerate you again and again because of your bad temper, so it is very important to control personal emotions. When you find that you can't get along with your roommate, don't lose your temper, but control yourself and tell yourself that there are still many friends who love you, and you will get used to it with a dull attitude.
Change your mind and talk to your roommates more.
Try to change your mind and angle, have a good talk with your roommates, and clarify all grievances and misunderstandings. I feel that this method will be very painful, but the result should be good. I believe we are all reasonable people. It's nobody's fault that we're not at peace now. It must be everyone's fault. Maybe I said something unpleasant by accident, or I made a mistake by accident. I think everything can be forgiven and understood.
Face dormitory life correctly
Living in a group will inevitably lead to some contradictions. As long as everyone is tolerant and open-minded, there will be no such thing. Dormitory life is actually very beautiful. Don't imagine it as a hell on earth. Everyone gathered in this room because of fate, so we should cherish it. But if you really can't stand it, I suggest you stay in the dormitory less, after all, distance will produce beauty.
Spit out your worries to people close to you.
You can also call the people closest to you and vent all your unhappiness. It's really effective to spit with the closest people. After vomiting, you will find yourself much more comfortable and in a much better mood. Next time you have something to say, keep spitting, and one day you will find that you don't want to spit anymore, that's good.
Why is the dormitory relationship getting worse? Then, why is the interpersonal relationship in university dormitory "bad"?
The answer to this question is actually very simple and easy to understand, which can be summarized into four reasons.
1, after the monotonous high school life, it is "fearless" to let yourself go.
You can recall your high school life, especially what happened in the dormitory. Is it inconspicuous? Don't you have many memories except studying for yourself and going back to sleep the next night?
In fact, it is normal for high school life to be so monotonous. First, because the dormitory is under the "extreme control" of the teacher, and second, everyone has the same learning goal, and the time and energy spent on learning are limited, so students' personality may not be fully released.
In this way, when we arrive at the university, faced with a free and unrestrained life, it is easy to let go of ourselves and "expose" them all, and then various roles will appear in our university dormitory.
2. Conflicts of values caused by differences in regions and living habits.
Many times, it is easy to underestimate the influence of regional differences on a person.
However, this is a fact. Whether you admit it or not, the personalities and living habits of students in the north and the south are really different.
In the long run, this difference may lead to different values, which may lead to some collisions and conflicts in normal university life.
The most obvious thing is that many students go to other places to study. In the process of getting along with other students from other provinces, there may be many "small question marks" in their minds. "How can this person be like this?" Many behaviors may constantly refresh our three views.
3. The more people there are, the greater the probability of encountering exotic flowers.
As the old saying goes, "a hundred people don't argue", and the probability of encountering "wonderful flowers" increases with the increase of the number of people. After going to college, we can meet more and more complicated people than junior high school and senior high school.
So many people do not rule out the existence of several "wonderful flowers". They may have some problems in personality and thought because of family reasons or personal reasons.
After going to college, everyone's goals are not exactly the same.
In high school, everyone's goal was clear, that is, to be admitted to the university. However, after entering the university, everyone's goals are no longer the same.
Some people also want to be strugglers, go to bed early and get up early, and study in the library during the day and night; Some people want to go to the party every night, sleep in during the day and play games at night.
In this case, two people with completely different goals live under the same roof, but they are actually very uncomfortable with each other.
If struggling students are dragged down by students who sing every night, they can live in peace. It's just that four years of college is unremarkable. If the students who want to go to the night show are all driven by struggling students, it may also lead to the "Xueba" in the dormitory, which is a miracle every year. For example, the "Xueba Dormitory" in xxx University is sponsored by 985 University.
However, the most uncomfortable thing is that we can't assimilate with each other, and everyone is still busy with their own affairs. That may be very uncomfortable, maybe just like the following classmate. There is no other choice but to stay away from the dormitory, but the uncomfortable may still be uncomfortable.
Then, when we know the main causes of this situation, can we find ways to avoid it?
To tell the truth, this kind of thing depends largely on luck. A person's ability is limited. Because it is easier to change himself than others, we can only start from the following two points.
1, adjust your mentality and don't let yourself be "depressed"
Since we are in the same dormitory, we can't look up and see each other, so no matter how much we don't like each other, don't make the relationship too stiff. Superficial harmony still needs to be maintained.
If the relationship is already very stiff, you can also take the initiative to ease it, such as inviting everyone to dinner and so on. The purpose of doing this is not for others, but for myself, in order to make my mood less depressed.
Being in a bad mood will affect your skin, which in turn will affect your appearance. Do you want an irrelevant person to affect your mood and your face value?
You certainly don't want to, so you should take the initiative to ease the relationship for yourself.
When we know the main reasons for the "bad" interpersonal relationship in the dormitory through the previous introduction, our mentality will be much more peaceful and easy to understand.
2, out of sight, out of mind, if you can't afford it, you can afford it.
Don't push yourself too hard when we try to ease the relationship. Like the classmate mentioned above, we can get up early, carry our schoolbags to the library, go to the study room and try not to stay in the dormitory. Just think of the dormitory as a place to sleep, which won't do. You can move out.
In short, don't be too wronged!
So, what can schools do to avoid the "bad" dormitory relationship from the root?
Actually, there is a way. The school only needs to do a questionnaire survey of "life and rest habits" before the new students start school and before the dormitory.
Moreover, it is necessary to clearly inform students of the purpose of the questionnaire survey, and the specific content is mainly based on students' living habits and values. After mastering the students' situation, we can divide the dormitory according to their situation and assign the students with more consistent living habits to a dormitory. For example, it is best not to share a dormitory with non-smoking students.
In this way, the potential problems of some university dormitories can be largely avoided.
Finally, I hope everyone can be more open and cherish the wonderful four years of college. After all, it is a kind of fate to meet in a small dormitory in the vast sea of people.