Class 05-1 Zhang Chunjiao

I have never been loved and hugged by my mother, but I often taste her lessons and treat her coldly.

I don't have many good memories in my memory. My mother didn't take my hand across the street, and my mother didn't send me to school. I fell down and cried loudly. My mother left without looking back and threw me a cold sentence: "Hurry up." Seeing other mothers hugging their children, I feel like a grass abandoned by others.

I hate my mother, her indifference and why she is my mother!

As the days passed, I grew up day by day, and the generation gap between my mother and me grew bigger and bigger. Finally, I ignored her.

In the fifth grade, I encountered difficulties in my study and my grades fell. My mother knew it was either cynical or cynical. Even at dinner, I have to give a few examples. Next door, XX was admitted to a provincial key high school, and XXX was admitted to a famous university. My head almost exploded when I heard it. I slammed the door and sulked alone in the room, leaving my mother with a big mouth.

I want to "get back at" my mother, and I want to learn a grade to annoy my mother.

So I got up early to study in the dark, and the words of summer bit my whole bag, so I continued to work hard. Sometimes, my mother sends me a cup of tea, which I never drink. I thought it was sarcasm and ridicule.

Many things happen. That monthly exam, I went home with the first place. I thought my mother would be angry, but my mother smiled and I stayed. ...

I still don't listen to my mother. I want to do more for myself to annoy my mother. So I learned to wash clothes and ride a bike ... I think I can take care of myself, so I decided to leave home.

I turned out my things, but when I was rummaging through them, I found a small box. I opened it and found several diaries in it. There are pictures of my mother holding me. How happy it was then! From a diary, I know how much my mother has paid for me. My mother did this to me just to annoy me. It says, "Sometimes I really want to say sorry to my child, but I am afraid that the child will not grow up, but I always feel like a knife in the face of the child's sad little face." Oh, mom, you mean well. How much mental torture have you suffered for me? ...

"Cheep", the door opened and mom came back. I ran up, hugged my mother and burst into tears.

It turns out that another form of maternal love is more precious.

(Words: 760)

Comments: This article combines narrative and description, and narrates the event completely and delicately, without any "fat meat" that is neither fish nor fowl, so it is called narrative. On the other hand, some students' compositions, unlike narratives and argumentative essays, are really composition taboos. The ending points out the echo from beginning to end and clearly points out the center. The fly in the ointment of this article is also the focus.

generous

Class 05-1 Liu Jingming

There is something that you don't know how to cherish when you have it, and you don't know its preciousness until you lose it.

There is a kind of dedication, that is, you pay silently after success until you die.

There is a hug that disappears quietly when you are bright and suddenly opens when you are depressed.

This is maternal love, selfless maternal love.

"Criticizing Meng Mu, living next door, being an unfilial son, breaking the loom", Meng Mu moved three times in that year, in order to find a good learning environment for his son, and then moved three times before settling down. After settling down, Mencius didn't study hard, so Meng Mu cut off all the cloth he had worked so hard to educate him. Mencius was surprised, studied hard from then on, and finally became a famous Confucian. Imagine that.

"But how much love there is in an inch of grass, I got three rays of spring." We can't repay them, because sometimes the price can't be repaid.

A couple took their children to climb the mountain, but because the mountain road was being repaired, they had to take a cable car halfway up the mountain. Because the cable was in disrepair for a long time and could not bear too much pressure, it began to fall, killing three people in an instant. The couple held the child above their heads before they died ... The child was saved, but the young parents lost their lives forever.

Many people often complain about their parents, but who else can you complain about if something happens to them? Cherish the present and care for your mother until you lose it.

"Filial piety is the first of all virtues". Filial piety is a traditional virtue of our Chinese nation for five thousand years. It is our duty and our bounden duty to honor our parents. Mother has worked hard for us all her life, and we often make her angry. Some people don't even do their duty to support their parents. Is such a person worthy of the noble word "person"?

Mother's love is our safe haven, and she shelters us from the wind and rain.

Mother love is our beacon, and she guides us.

Mother love is our good teacher. She taught us to distinguish right from wrong and learn to live.

Selfless maternal love will always be everything to us.

(Words: 625)

Comments: This article can be regarded as argumentative, but its style is novel. On the basis of praising maternal love mainly by discussion, the author can create a unique style of "prose argumentation" by using the method of head-to-tail parallelism. In addition, as an argumentative essay, this paper comprehensively uses two main argumentation methods: putting facts (for example) and reasoning (for reasoning), which is a model in primary argumentative essays.

In fact, he was wrong.

05- 1 Ban Liu

"Come on, your mother wrote to you."

My son rushed out of the office, took the letter and sent the postman away. My son entered the room and couldn't wait to open the letter. "Are you okay? Everything is fine at home. Don't worry, our old sow gave birth to eight cubs a few days ago and will be able to slaughter next year. By the way, I heard that the weather there is very cold. Don't forget to wear two more clothes when you go out. Don't open the window when sleeping, and don't get into trouble.

At first glance, this letter was written by neighbor Jules. My mother can't read, and Jules only went to school for three years. The handwriting is ugly. The letter was simple and tasteless, and the surprise disappeared at once. But although it was tasteless, my son wrote back and sent it home.

A month passed and my mother wrote again. Compared with the last letter, there is actually nothing new in this letter. The only difference is that "don't leave the window open when sleeping" has been changed to "don't forget to close the window when sleeping". But at the end of the letter, I crossed out a few lines, but I can see that "mom knows that it is not easy for you to live in the city, but your family is not rich" ... However, it is different in the city and at home. Everything costs money. I don't have many clothes and I'm very picky about food. Where can I send it home? He put the letter in the drawer.

He didn't reply. For months, he didn't reply. He put all his mother's letters in the drawer intact. Once he met fellow countryman Xiao Zhang, who told him, "Your mother asked me to ask you, why didn't you write back?"? She thought something had happened to you. " He went back to the office, opened the drawer and picked up an unopened letter. As soon as he opened the letter, he had a piece of money 10 yuan.

I see! All this is my son's fault. ...

(Words: 685)

Comment: This is a short story. Students who want to write short stories should remember that the key to the success of short stories lies in clever conception and vivid description. This article did it. Thought-provoking. We suggest that students bravely try various styles of composition and find their own "specialties".

The rain pavilion in my heart

05- 1 class jiang bo

I used to be very withdrawn and didn't know how to enjoy the happiness of the world. I don't think so when others are mostly enjoying warm care. I never look closely at the actions of people around me, so I ignore my mother's deep love for me.

My mother nags, which makes me very angry. I always think that my mother's nagging is unnecessary, so I sometimes shut her out. In my opinion, it is natural to say, don't forget to bring an umbrella in rainy days, and wear less clothes in hot days. ...

Every little makes a mickle, and my conscience finally found that there is a nagging person around me who is spreading sincere love to me. That's my mother, who has raised me for more than ten years and often has no complaints about "rejecting me thousands of miles away". I am in great pain. At this time, I seem to feel a fiery heart dripping blood, which makes me as painful as a knife. I want to tell my mother, but I can't let go of my so-called manhood. My previous courage will be completely exhausted. My mother seemed to notice something, but she didn't say it. She just told me to let go of the burden in my heart and say it wasn't my fault. No wonder, as the saying goes, mother and child are connected!

My mother knows me very well, and my every move will be filtered in front of my mother like a filter, but there are few secrets between me and my mother. I was a little disheartened by the failure of an exam. I was afraid that my mother would blame me if she knew. As we all know, people who have something on their minds can't pretend to be innocent. My mother gave me two eggs at dinner, but she didn't blame me for the illusion. Who knows there is a mystery in this egg? I found a note when I was sleeping, "Two!" It suddenly dawned on me.

Motherly love is always in the nuances, a look when confused, careful care when sick, and an encouraging word when failed, all of which are deep maternal love!

Maternal love is not easy to detect, and maternal love is very small; Motherly love is unforgettable, and maternal love is great!

There are only a few people who love you the most in life, and mom is the first one.

Motherly love is really great and worth cherishing forever!

(Word count: 625 words. )

Comment: The score is 46. This article describes two things about mother, portrays her own psychology very delicately, and sets off the greatness of maternal love. The language of this article is very stylish, with the flavor of Zhu Ziqing's back, which makes people feel relaxed and amazing. The fly in the ointment is that the ending is a bit hard to let go, unable to grasp the hearts of the people and unable to buckle the topic.

genius

05- 1 Zhao Yaping.

Motherly love is the most selfless love in the world, and the mother is always the refuge of the child.

My mother is the most common rural woman. She doesn't have a beautiful face like a star, but she has a wide love like the earth. It is this broad love that makes her a "genius".

When I was a child, I always wanted beautiful dolls, delicious chocolates and magic bubble gum, so I always asked my mother for money. My mother discovered my "attempt" and instead of criticizing me, she told me that every penny was hard-won and should not be wasted casually. In their life, even a penny can buy many things, such as sugar and ice cream ... At this time, my mother is a mathematician.

When I grew up, I went to school, but at that time, I thought school was a super boring thing. I sit there listening to the teacher every day and don't want to go to school. My mother knows my mind, but instead of forcing me, she told me that going to school may be really boring, but that's the only way for rural children to change their fate. Only by going to school can they become useful people and make contributions to the motherland in the future. ...

When I reached puberty, I was no longer a child. With my own ideas and plans for the future, my parents' opinions gradually become unreasonable in my eyes. Gradually, I closed my heart and didn't want to talk to my parents. My mother knows that at this time, I am like a wild horse. What I need is understanding and tolerance. She told me that she didn't want to pry into my secrets, but just wanted to share my troubles. She is willing.

……

A person can have no brothers, sisters or friends, but he must have a mother. Mother not only gave us life, but also taught us the truth of being human, which is beyond the reach of every great man.

Motherly love is the warmest. The warm sun can only warm your skin, but maternal love can warm your heart.

My mother is a genius.

Your mother is a genius.

His mother is a genius.

All mothers in the world are "geniuses". Only by riding in the boat of mother's love can we understand the bitterness behind "genius"

Motherly love is the most selfless love in the world, and the mother is always the refuge of the child. )

(Words: 750 words)

Comments: This article is beautifully written. In chronological order, my mother is a mathematician, a philosopher and a psychologist. The paragraph form is very neat and poetic. My mother is a caring "genius", which runs through the whole article. Her writing is concise and decent. She got 46 points. As a champion composition, are the students not convinced? )

Motherly love is around you.

05- 1 Wang Mingliang.

There are some giants around us who care about us all the time, but we don't know it, as if in a dream. Whenever we need care, they will step forward, shoulder the heavy responsibility and accompany us.

One summer night, the rain came, the wind roared, it was thin and lonely, eagerly looking forward to her return. Its heart is cold and its eyes are cold.

A distant cry awakened it, lit a fire in its heart and brought a fire in its eyes that longed for her arrival. Without waiting, it jumped up, flapping its wings in a hurry and flew to her huge arm. Her arms are so warm, warm enough to melt ice and snow, and this is the love that a mother can give her children.

After the storm, it went out of its mother's arms and played with its companions. Its flying skills are not very skilled, but it can go out with its old companions. They set off, flew to the top of the mountain together, and practiced their flying skills at high altitude. You come and go, shuttling back and forth like Okumo. Suddenly, bang, the gun went off, and a beautiful spider web seemed to be punctured. Don't know where to fly. Bang, another bang, flew over the tail end and was almost hit, but it was enough to make it faint. It insisted on flying a few times and staggered towards the forest, fearing that it would lose its self-control. Bang, it fell into the river. Two gunshots made her mother fly to find her baby involuntarily. It is helpless in the river. It doesn't even have the strength to struggle. At this critical moment, she appeared again and the giant appeared again. Because of her appearance, it gained strength and confidence, exhausted its last strength and jumped up, only two or three centimeters high. But it was these two or three centimeters that the giant seized the opportunity, flew quickly on the water, grabbed its child with its claws, and flapped its wings and flew away.

As "giants", they always give us hope, warmth and light.

Word count: 728 words.

Comments: The most prominent feature of this article is to compare mother to a giant in a metaphorical way. Vivid description, good at grasping details for specific description. Detailed description is vivid and concrete, which is one of the important magic weapons for narrative score. However, this article also has obvious shortcomings, failing to clearly point out that the giant is the mother and the "it" in the article is the real child. In Fan Wei's words, it is "a little messy". The score is 40 points.

People who like to eat fish heads

Wang Fengxiang

When I was a child, I often ate fish at home. But as far as I can remember, my mother never eats the meat on the back of fish. My mother always gives me the fish without taking the lead, but she eats the fish head with relish. I think it is delicious. Once, I stole a fish head, and the result was completely different from what I expected. It's terrible. After that, every time I eat fish, I put it in the "filial piety".

With the growth of age and psychological maturity, I realized the absurdity and naivety of "Mom loves to eat fish heads".

A kind-hearted mother made clothes for her wayward son. She sewed them carefully, for fear that the delay would make him go home later. Yes! A mother may have a person in her heart, not herself, but her child. Isn't it the true meaning of mother's love that Tibetan antelopes bow down to hunters to save their young? It would be better to list a few similar general examples of maternal love in this paragraph. )

Pregnant in October, only for once. The mother's responsibility began, and then a great thing-maternal love was born in the world. I want to ask, which mother will abuse her children, which mother will let her children freeze and starve, and which mother will not care about her children's every move (this paragraph is a bit empty)

I remember a philosopher once said: The greatest thing in the world is maternal love. Indeed, the word greatness is well-deserved by mothers. So, can a mother's greatness be expressed in words?

Motherly love is your cotton-padded clothes when you are cold.

Motherly love is a bowl of rice when you are hungry.

Motherly love is a bright light when you are confused.

Motherly love is ... (ellipsis should not be used here, and the sentence should be completed before use)

Everything from birth and death to dribs and drabs reveals a mother's unspeakable love for her children. This is selfless love, sincere love, and heartfelt love.

Motherly love, great love!

If I write at the end: "Do you still have the heart to put the fish head in front of her for the sacred word of maternal love?" Students, think about it. What's the effect? )

(Words: 528)

Comments: This article is good at making words and sentences, with clear thinking, clear hierarchy and prominent center. But suffering from too few words and insufficient content. The score is 39 points.

Feelings of loss

05- 1 class Shi Enguang

I have long forgotten the feeling of my mother hugging me, and now I am looking for it.

Every morning, I am awakened by a delicious breakfast, and then I hear a gentle voice: "Eat." I don't know when she will finish her meal and serve it.

Every night when I come home from school, my house is always clean and tidy. I know my mother helped me clean up during her busy schedule.

Every time after school, there will be a voice in my ear: "Be careful on the road." I know this is my mother's heartfelt concern.

So I no longer look for a warm embrace, because I am in this warm embrace. Hugging is not just an action, it is the embodiment of great love, it is the epitome of no regrets, it is the spirit of selfless dedication, it is the sum of blessing and concern.

I am no longer looking for a warm embrace, precisely because I live in a great love-maternal love. Even if the things that show this great love are simple and ordinary, the great love is silent, and the maternal love has no regrets. Let's understand this sentence deeply.

If a person loses his maternal love, it is like losing his eyes, and darkness will follow; If a person loses his maternal love, it is like losing his motivation and his future is bleak. Don't hesitate to find, discover and experience the maternal love around you! Don't cherish it until you lose it, then you will regret it.

Now I have come to an important conclusion: it doesn't matter even if the feeling of mother holding us is slim, because great maternal love is quietly accompanying you.

(Words: 473)

Comments: The content is insufficient and the number of words is too small. This is the only shortcoming of this article, and it is also a common problem of many students. Please think deeply and take a warning.

mother love

05- 1 Ban Sun

I have never felt the greatness of maternal love, but I am often influenced by the ordinary. Childhood memory is mother's nagging, and naive ideal is to get rid of scolding. But I finally understand that maternal love cannot be ordinary, and greatness cannot be great.

I've always wanted to follow my mother, afraid that I will grow up one day. Because in the days with my mother, I am not afraid of anything. My mother will stop me when the wind comes. When it rains, I am covered by my mother. I'm in the sun, and I'm never afraid of wind and rain.

After all, innocence without rehearsal is defeated by natural growth. The wind and rain in the sky are no longer afraid, and the wind and rain in my heart begin to fall. So my mother let go and let me learn to grow up by myself.

Increasingly mature, I walk under a blue sky, no more wind and rain, no more innocence. I began to do things carefully, but I won't forget to bring a blessing to my mother whose forehead is gradually covered with silver.

Today, when things happen, my mother will still be deeply worried. Her child is crying, but her tears are dripping, and her cheeks are slightly tilted when she laughs.

I vowed to honor her, but I didn't know that the warmth in my heart was the coldness she would never accept.

Many things in life can't be expressed in words, just as children are the happiest burden for mothers.

Mother pays too much, and we return too little. (390 words)

Comments: This article is similar to Shi Enguang's. The only drawback is that the content is not expanded and the number of words is not enough. The language of this article is exquisite.

"Dead" Maternal Love

05- 1 Zhao Ting.

Every mother can die because she loves her children, so this "dead" maternal love becomes eternal maternal love.

-inscription

This is a true story.

A boy and his mother lived together since childhood, and their lives were extremely miserable. Children lack everything except maternal love. In a blink of an eye, ten years have passed, and the boy has reached marriageable age, but no one has ever looked up to him, not only because he is poor, but also because he has no father. The boy's mother often goes to Lacrimosa for this purpose. Finally, one day, a lovely girl from a big family took a fancy to the boy and promised to marry him, but on condition that the boy take out his mother's heart and give it to her mother. The boy hesitated to tell his mother. Mother was puzzled at first, and then said without hesitation, "Well, son, my mother will do anything for your happiness." The boy took out his mother's heart and held it in his hand with tears in his eyes. He ran out of the house as fast as he could, but he tripped over a stone.

At this moment, a voice asked, "Does it hurt, son?" That sound is the sound of mother's heart falling on the floor.

The first time I heard this story, I was moved for a long time. I can't help thinking of my mother, an ordinary mother. Although she didn't do anything earth-shattering, I heard her concern for me through constant nagging. In that exhortation, I heard my mother's love for me; In that phone call, I heard my mother's worry about me. (care, care and worry, these three words are used repeatedly and should be revised. This paragraph is empty because it lacks concrete and vivid details about my mother. )

Mothers all over the world are the same. They are equally selfless, and they can devote their lives to their children. After this sentence, I personally feel that we should quote some stories of selfless mothers in reality to enrich the content. ) My mother is even more so. At this moment, I really realized Meng Jiao's sentence, "But how much love there is in an inch of grass? Enjoy three spring flowers."

When difficulties come, only the mother is the first to rush in front of the children; When the child is hit, the first thing that comes to mind is the warm embrace of the mother; In the face of life and death, it is the mother who would rather die than let her children be happy.

Therefore, because of eternity, maternal love will not die.

(Words: 690)

Comments: The shortcoming of this article is that it does not combine narrative description with discussion and lyricism, and does not describe its "mother" in detail, so it is not sensational enough. Although there are enough words, the content is still empty. )

Mother's arms

Class 05-1 Liu Xianmin

"Only a mother is good in the world, and a child with a mother is like a baby. You can't enjoy happiness by hiding in your mother's arms ... "Almost everyone can sing this well-known children's song, but few people really appreciate its beauty. I am one of the lucky ones.

Perhaps, you will say, we all grew up in the arms of our mothers. Yes, but how can we realize it when we are babies and babbling? When I grow up, who will hide in my mother's arms?

Mother's arms are very warm. I remember that when I graduated from primary school and went to junior high school, I did badly in the exam. When I learned that I had taken dozens of exams, I felt my heart was broken. In fact, everyone makes mistakes, but I can't stand it. I cried, and the sun and the moon were dark (a bit exaggerated). My mother suddenly understood when she saw my red and swollen eyes. She didn't say anything. Hiding in my mother's arms, I immediately felt very warm. I feel my heart is slowly healing, because something is inspiring me. I want to turn grief into strength.

No matter what bothers me in the future, I will say in my mother's arms that my mother always listens patiently until I fall asleep and wake up, and nothing will happen.

Maternal love is really great. Just like the vast sea, let your boat slide in it. So, my friend, when you are in trouble, it is better to hide in your mother's arms than to keep a diary, and you will feel infinite warmth.

Comments: This article has a prominent center, and the language is still fluent, but it can't get a high score (35 points). Why? Through the analysis, the following conclusions are drawn: First, there are not enough words (500 words) and the content is not substantial; Second, the description is lacking, and the article is boring to read; Third, the time for refining words and sentences is not good, which has caused serious consequences.

Therefore, I tried to amend paragraphs 3 and 4 respectively:

Amend paragraph 3 to read as follows:

Mother's arms are always warm. I still remember that I did badly in the exam from primary school to junior high school. All the red forks on the test paper are demonstrating to me like demons, regardless of my sadness. I stared at the blackboard with my chin cupped, only to feel that my eyes were blurred, and the teacher turned a deaf ear to the endless explanation. When the bell rang, I found my eyes filled with tears. ...

The door that was still red as if it were the weather changed its face, and the original smile was suddenly replaced by cold. When I finally opened the door, I saw my mother's deep eyes. I carefully lowered my head and walked carefully, waiting for my mother's thunderous anger. No sound, no sound. I dare not look up, but I clearly see that my sweat is dripping on the ground. Suddenly, a warm hand touched it gently, which was the most beautiful touch, and the sun rose in my heart instantly. I raised my head gently, and I couldn't help it any longer. I hugged my mother and hid in her arms, letting tears run across my cheeks. I only shouted, "Mom ..."

There is a kind of love called silent encouragement, and only the mother's arms can be competent for this kind of praise. I will turn grief into strength.

Revise the original paragraph 4 as follows:

No matter what troubles I encounter in the future, I will whisper in my mother's arms, and my mother will always listen patiently until I fall asleep with a smile. When I wake up, all my troubles will disappear.

I believe that students have gained something from the above two examples of review. So, pick up your pen, try boldly, revise your composition and try to be perfect.

Attach an article about maternal love:

a letter

Wu Juan

The moon has risen, but the sky is not clear. The terrible moon shines on the chaotic Tangshan City, and the horror of the earthquake is still in the dense sky. There is a bean lamp in Room 2 of the Eighth Ambulance Medical Team, and nurse Gao Jie is writing a letter by the bed.

Yang Chen: I am writing to you in the lounge of the medical team. There is no normal power supply here, but I feel more by candlelight. It has been seven days since we arrived in the earthquake-stricken area that day. It was not until this evening that some medical staff changed their rest. Most of us fight day and night, and we can only drink a glass of water and chew a few biscuits between operations. At this time, snoring came and went, and they slept soundly.

The wind is strong and the tent is crawling. Xiao Danxi turned over and fell asleep again. Gao Jie covered the quilt.

I want to tell you something special. Three days ago in the morning, a little girl less than one year old was brought to us in a panic. She told us with tears that rescuers found a mother and daughter in the corner where the building collapsed. They struggled to see the floor, but the injured young mother had passed away. The little girl is still in shock. It turned out that her mother cut the blood vessels in her right arm and replaced the milk with blood, so that her daughter survived. Bypass the little girl's lips. I feel cold all over. The old dean issued an order in a hoarse voice: "Rescue with all my strength ..." Artificial respiration, infusion and medical care took turns, holding the little girl in her arms to warm up. After two hours of first aid and eight hours of first-class care, this fragile life was finally taken back from the hands of death. A day later, the little girl unexpectedly called "Mom" in the mist with a faint chest sound, and everyone present cried. At this time, I seem to believe it.

The candle flickered. Xiao Danxi breathes smoothly. She smacked her lips hard. Maybe she dreamed of her mother.

From your article, I know your happy childhood, because you have a kind mother. In the 1960s, when life was difficult, my mother ate wild vegetables and stuffed the saved dry food into your schoolbag. For years, mom took pains to make you appear on the school stage in a new coat. You said that "love" is always the love that human beings can't untie.

Now it's time to show you my cards. I have been nursing this little girl these days. She occasionally calls "Mom", and my face turns red and my heart beats, but there is always an irresistible impulse knocking at my heart. I want her to be our daughter. I named her "Danxi" and hoped that her future would be full of sunshine.

Yang Chen, I have reason to believe that you will promise me, because maternal love creates kindness in your heart through the transmission of blood.

Attach some topics about "maternal love" composition:

1 Send you a bunch of carnations 2 Oh, mom! 3 Love in the spring rain 4 Education of love 5 Silent drizzle 6 Thread in the hands of loving mother, making clothes for her wayward boy 7 A bright light on the road to growth 8 Motherly love-the train to spring 9 Love drift bottle.

10 fish standing on the shore (my mother is a fish standing on the shore like me and has difficulty breathing. My mother will moisten my life with tears and spittle) 1 1 I love you! Dear mom! 12 spring touches a white scarf on my forehead.