I have a classmate. Her boyfriend is very good and his academic performance is good. She will study some other things in her spare time. She is very happy to see her boyfriend so motivated. At first, I may encounter some difficulties in the process of learning and occasionally complain to her. She also understands, so she will listen to him carefully and comfort him. After a while, she told me that she broke up with her boyfriend. I'm surprised, don't I get along well?
She said that every time you and he want to take a walk to relax, he starts to nag about how hard it is to study and how hard life is, and then sighs. Walking was supposed to be relaxing, but it made him heavier. When you tell him you want to go out for a walk, he always says he doesn't want to go. What's the point? He might as well rest in the dormitory. He is not interested in anything. You tell him that everything in the canteen is delicious and you can eat it, and he says that there is something delicious, so long as you are full. When things go wrong, you start complaining. It's really troublesome. Living is really tiring. In short, he is an extremely pessimistic person. He is not interested in doing anything (except what he wants to do). He likes to look forward to staying in the dormitory at home, always sighing, with no sunshine at all and full of negative energy.
Yes, staying with such people for a long time will make people feel depressed, life is dark and there is no other fun. Although life is hard and there is not much happiness for us, it is precisely because of this that we need some positive energy to hedge our bad mood and make life less boring. If you have been living in sorrow, what is the meaning of living?
The second type: people who can't give you motivation.
I saw a sentence before, in the most struggling years, you should love someone who can bring you motivation, not someone who exhausts you. University is a crucial stage in life. After graduation, you will face a more cruel society. Therefore, universities must arm themselves to the teeth in order to gnaw at the hard bones of future life.
When you want to study, TA always sends you WeChat, but you don't reply. TA says you don't care about TA, so you reply, which disrupts your thinking. When you are in trouble, TA doesn't agree, and still goes its own way, and doesn't know how to encourage you. You are happy to solve a problem and you want to share it with TA. TA tells you coldly that it's okay and never gives you encouragement or praise. Of course, falling in love with a cold ass will make you feel uncomfortable. After a long time, people even doubt whether they still love.
The person who really loves you should be a person who thinks hard and works hard wholeheartedly. No matter whether you succeed or fail, he will give you motivation in an appropriate way, not a person who holds you back everywhere and makes you physically and mentally exhausted.