The Cultivation of College Students' Interpersonal Communication Ability Ⅰ. Using the Special Effects in Interpersonal Communication
There are some special phenomena in interpersonal communication, which have great influence on establishing good interpersonal relationship. Making good use of these special effects in interpersonal communication can make us get twice the result with half the effort in the process of interacting with people.
1, primary effect and recency effect
What we usually call the first impression or initial impression is called the first cause effect in social psychology. Compared with the first cause effect, the phenomenon that the newly obtained information has greater influence than the original information is called recency effect or recent effect.
Once the first impression is established, it has a great influence on the understanding of the information obtained later. For example, a wonderful self-introduction of a college student who just entered the university left a strong first impression on his classmates. Even if his grades are not as good as before, the students think that it is not the ability but the lack of hard work. On the contrary, some students will leave a very incompetent first impression when looking for a job, so it will take a long time to change this impression. The reason for the formation of the first cause effect is that when we meet strangers for the first time, our attention is completely and fully devoted, at this time our impression is the most vivid and intense, and when the subsequent information is input, our attention will drift away, thus reducing its influence on us.
Recency effect is not as prominent as the first cause effect, often because there is enough interesting new information to provide in the process of forming an impression, or the original impression has been forgotten over time. Therefore, the recent special events in interpersonal communication have a great influence on the changes of interpersonal relationships.
2. Halo effect
The general trend of inferring other features from known features is called halo effect. People generally tend to infer that a person has some other qualities according to one of his own qualities. If they know someone is upright, it is easy to imagine him as an upright, sincere, trustworthy, conscientious and trustworthy person. The attractiveness of appearance has obvious halo effect. When a person's appearance is full of charm, his features unrelated to appearance will be better evaluated. It should be noted that the halo effect often brings wrong prejudice and affects our judgment of others.
3. Stereotype effect
Some people are used to automatically attributing their contacts to a certain kind of people, and whether he shows the characteristics of this kind of people or not, he is considered to be the representative of this kind of people. Always imposing the evaluation of a certain kind of people on others will affect the correct interpersonal cognition, especially when such evaluation is biased, it will damage interpersonal relationships. If some college students think that southerners are stingy and selfish, and students with high family and social status are arrogant and difficult to get along with, this stereotype can easily form preconceived stereotypes and hinder the formation of normal interpersonal relationships.
The advantage of stereotype is that it can quickly understand the characteristics of a strange or unfamiliar person or group, but it also has its disadvantages: first, it exaggerates the similarity between group members, which makes our cognition of individuals biased; Second, it exaggerates the differences between groups and is prone to prejudice and discrimination.
4. Projection effect
The projection effect in interpersonal relationship refers to transferring some unpleasant and unacceptable ideas, personalities, attitudes or desires to others when interacting with others, thinking that others are the same, so as to cover up their unwelcome characteristics. For example, selfish people always think others are selfish, while generous people think others should not be stingy with themselves. Due to the influence of projection, it is easy to misunderstand in interpersonal communication.
Second, create a good personal image and enhance personal charm.
First of all, we should improve our psychological quality. Interpersonal communication is the overall function of thought, ability, knowledge and psychology, and the lack of any one aspect will affect the quality of interpersonal relationship. Some students have some unhealthy psychology in interpersonal communication, such as social fear, timidity, shyness, inferiority, indifference, loneliness, isolation, suspicion, pride, jealousy, etc., which will leave a bad self-image for the communication object. Therefore, strengthening self-training, improving psychological quality and communicating with a positive attitude will help college students establish a good self-image in interpersonal communication.
Secondly, you need to improve your interpersonal charm. Everyone has his inner interpersonal charm, which is the embodiment of a person's comprehensive quality in social life. College students should strive to enrich their inner world, from appearance to speech, from image to knowledge, and improve themselves in many ways. Psychological research shows that although a good social image will leave a deep impression on the other party in the first communication, with the deepening of communication, knowledge becomes more dominant. Therefore, while trying to create a good image, college students should strengthen their personality cultivation and expand their own connotation.
College students' interpersonal skills 1, learn to put themselves in other's shoes.
Empathy is very important for establishing good interpersonal relationships. If we use it often? If I were in his position, how would I deal with such a problem? I would always understand and deal with the problem from the other side's point of view, and many interpersonal contradictions would become easier to solve. People who are good at communication are often good at discovering the value of others, knowing how to respect others, being willing to trust others, tolerating others' different views and behaviors, not caring about others' mistakes, and trying to help others instead of blaming them.
2. Make good use of praise and criticism.
Praise can release a person's energy and stimulate a person's enthusiasm. Expressing your praise to others sincerely and appropriately can enhance their attraction. As a special compliment, gratitude is often ignored by us. We tend to think that people who are very close don't need to say thank you, nor do things that are too small. In fact, sincere and heartfelt thanks can bring great sense of accomplishment and pleasure to others, thus improving the quality of interpersonal communication.
The opposite of praise is criticism. Generally speaking, people should praise more and criticize less. Pay attention to the occasion and environment when criticizing, and don't take it personally. Completely denying a person will dampen the enthusiasm and self-esteem of the other person.
Step 3 communicate actively
College students need a rich interpersonal world in the future, in which they can help and be helped, sympathize and be sympathized, love and be loved, and enjoy happiness and pain. In social interaction, take the initiative to initiate communication activities and take the initiative to accept others' presence? Like a duck to water? . On the other hand, those students who don't take the initiative are often passive in communication and even forgotten by the group? Marginal people? . It is very necessary for college students to learn to communicate actively, especially in the face of crisis. It is very important to actively explain and eliminate misunderstandings for re-establishing good interpersonal relationships.
Step 4 be helpful