For a long time, college students' falling in love is a sensitive issue that makes moral educators in colleges and universities feel very difficult. From the earliest explicit prohibition of "no dating during school" to the present general acquiescence of "no advocacy and no opposition", friends in love, which loves each other, has always been a unique landscape in universities, and a series of unhealthy tendencies brought about by it have become increasingly prominent, which has become an unavoidable and important topic of moral education in colleges and universities.

First, the main manifestations of college students' bad love tendency

1, the utilitarian color is getting stronger. People often say that love on campus is the purest and most sincere, like is like, and love is love. This kind of truth and purity without any material benefits is something you can't have when you fall in love after entering the society. But once upon a time, the so-called "materialism", "money worship" and "pragmatism" in society made this "pure land" impetuous and utilitarian. The love of "starting from scratch and working together" is regarded as a beautiful fairy tale by more college students, and their plans for future life are becoming more and more realistic. Whether the other party has enough "use value" for his future development, his family background, money, etc. Can be a shortcut to success and comfort, and become the first choice for love. "Because of love, so love" this sacred and pure campus love, began to cast a practical and utilitarian coat.

2, vanity psychological expansion. True love is the collision between hearts, and the mutual affection between feelings. But when it comes to why they fall in love, some college students think that making friends is the embodiment of their ability and charm, and "no one loves" is contemptible. Moreover, in order to show their skills, blindly pursue a good-looking and financially rich love object, regardless of whether the other party loves it or not; In order to save face, win the envy of others, satisfy the vanity of lovers, regardless of their own economic ability and level, spend money lavishly, watch movies, go to dance halls, eat out and give birthday gifts, and all those who should be ostentatious are ostentatious; What's more, it is "overwhelming" to fully show your charm by changing lovers frequently, and cynical "fast food" love has become the capital to show off.

3. contempt for "sex". The influence of the western thought of "sexual freedom and sexual liberation", the proliferation of mixed culture in current society and the long-term weakness of sexual knowledge education have made significant changes in college students' sexual concepts. From the initial shyness of "hiding half a face behind the guitar from us" to cuddling and kissing under the moon and flowers, it has become an uncivilized campus "landscape". There are not a few college students who acquiesce in premarital sex, have sex in advance and advocate "trial marriage". Some college students' disapproval and recklessness about premarital sex make many college moral education workers inexplicably surprised. When did the "sex" that was still "hidden" and "hidden" become so common among college students that people did not jump?

Second, the negative impact of college students' bad love tendency

1, destroying the foundation of good love and happy life. The famous writer Hugo said that there are two lives, the first one is on the day when life begins, and the second one is on the day when love begins. It can be seen that love is a noble feeling. two of a kind, a soul mate, shares weal and woe and cares for each other. Beautiful love is the source of a happy life. Any utilitarian selfishness is a blasphemy against this beautiful feeling, and it also destroys the foundation for lovers to get a beautiful love and a happy life. The utilitarian love based on "pragmatism" will not be firm and lasting, and any trouble and sudden change in life will make it collapse instantly. Moreover, the concept of love is actually a reflection of one's world outlook, outlook on life and values, and opportunism in love is extremely unfavorable to the healthy growth of college students' body and mind.

2, the economic pressure, the phenomenon of violation of law and discipline increased. Most college students are pure consumers, and tuition and daily expenses are mainly provided by parents and families. However, the vanity of "comparison" makes many college students love to spend money like running water, and gifts on holidays can not be less, becoming more and more upscale. Usually, parties can't be shabby and fancy, and their female (male) friends can't be shabby and fashionable than others, all of which need "money" to support. The heavy economic pressure brought by love makes the "comparers" overwhelmed, and some even take risks and steal the column. At the same time, fighting because of love and jealousy is not uncommon on campus. The increase of violations of law and discipline has seriously damaged the school spirit and discipline, and also caused lifelong regret to the parties. As a result, he was warned, ordered to drop out of school or even brought to justice, and the "ten years of hard study at a cold window" once vanished.

3, causing psychological problems. The age of college students is generally around 17 ~ 22 years old. Students in this age group experience less adversity and suffering. Although their psychology is rapidly maturing, they are not yet fully mature and their psychological endurance is very limited. Once you are frustrated in love, your self-esteem and self-confidence will be hit hard, and it is easy to have psychological problems. Depressed, depressed or trapped in entanglement and revenge, some even committed suicide by seeing through the world of mortals.

4. Love moral consciousness and law and discipline consciousness are weak. Condoms can be found everywhere in campus garbage, college students illegally rent houses and live together outside campus, some girls are "ordered to drop out of school" because of pregnancy, and more college students despise and misunderstand "sex", which damages the dignity and sacredness of love, pollutes the campus cultural environment and seriously affects the normal development of college students' physical and mental health.

Third, strengthen the correct guidance of college students' love problems.

1, actively help and guide college students to establish a correct view of love, and educate college students to enhance their sense of moral responsibility in love. With the development of sexual physiology and psychology, it is a common phenomenon for college students to fall in love. As teachers in colleges and universities, especially moral educators in colleges and universities, we must clearly understand and actively face this problem and scientifically educate and guide it. In order to change the passive work situation of letting things drift and dealing with problems in the past, we can change passive solution into active prevention. We can make use of classroom education or invite marriage and love experts to our school to hold seminars regularly or irregularly, hold colorful campus activities, organize students to hold special discussions on love issues, guide students to establish a correct view of love, carefully choose the timing of love, and treat love cautiously with pure motives, noble sentiments and civilized behavior. It is necessary for college students to understand that any behavior that starts from utilitarian thinking, puts material conditions first, and hopes to get "backing" from love and create conditions for future employment and development is a manifestation of lack of moral responsibility for love.

2. Vigorously carry out mental health education and psychological counseling to guide college students to maintain a healthy psychology. It is necessary to infiltrate mental health education into all the work of higher education, change the passive attitude of waiting for visits and becoming a mere formality, and actively go deep into college students. We can provide students with opportunities and conditions for psychological counseling in love through individual interviews, questionnaires, distribution of brochures, opening up publicity columns and other flexible ways, find and solve problems as early as possible, guide some bad tendencies and harmful psychology of college students in love in time, and advocate healthy and civilized ways and behaviors of love.

3. Strengthen sexual health education for college students, guide them to correctly understand "sex" and treat it rationally. The era of "talking about color change" has passed. Instead of being afraid of problems, we should take the initiative to prevent them from happening from another angle. Schools can combine sexual knowledge, sexual morality and sexual laws and regulations by offering sexual health education courses to educate college students about sexual knowledge, so that they can understand the differences between the sexes in sexual physiology and psychology, correct their vague and wrong understanding of love and sex, and guide them to fully understand the harm caused by "early sexual behavior" to both parties, schools and society, and learn to love themselves and others.

College students' falling in love has become an objective fact that cannot be avoided or avoided in today's university campus, and the bad tendency and negative influence of college students' falling in love can not be ignored. As a moral education worker in colleges and universities, we must fully understand and attach great importance to this, and give positive education and positive guidance. Cognition is like a mirror, it is clear when it is illuminated; Emotion is like water, and it is smooth to guide; Concept is like a mountain, it is stable when it stands up. Only by facing up to the problem of college students' love, guiding them correctly, making college students who have never been in love devote themselves to their studies, and making college students who have been in love turn love into the driving force of their studies, can college students in their prime correctly handle the relationship between love and study, love-friendship, love and marriage, and treat love and their future rationally and healthily.