1, a good man.
When a man cheats, your mentality is to be afraid of losing, thus being doubly good for the man. In your subconscious, this kind of behavior is that he cheated because of "my fault", and you blame yourself for not doing well and being twice as good to men. But men don't pay attention to your behavior and think you are of low value. Fear of losing often makes men feel that you can't live without him.
He will ignore his mistakes, mistakenly think that he can cheat without scruple, have no guilt for you, and think that you are a "soft persimmon". Why do you have to do thankless things when your heart is scarred?
2. Man: "I cheated on you."
Many cunning men can easily change their minds and tell you, "I cheated on you." He threw you all the "pots" of his derailment, and it was easy for you to agree if you didn't recognize the facts.
Actually, getting married is a matter for two people. Even if you don't do well enough, that's no reason for men to cheat. There are no people who don't make mistakes in this world, and it is very normal for couples to have conflicts. The key lies in what choices people make when facing problems. Some people will choose to face the problem and solve it, and their feelings will deepen because of the solution of the problem; Some people, however, are afraid to avoid problems when they see them, so they use cheating as an outlet for their feelings. Recognizing the facts is the most essential reason for emotional problems. What is the reason? Instead of blaming the mistake entirely on one person.
Step 3 lose yourself
When you found him cheating, all your attention was on him. You find that you can't find a normal heart and are not in the mood to work; Walking in a daze; Food is in front of you, and the food is tasteless; Not even in the mood to do anything.
Did you find out? Your emotions are very complicated: anger, anger, sadness and fear. ...
These emotions will make you unconsciously look through his mobile phone, check his chat records, phone bills, overtime records of the company, and so on, all the information you want to know.
However, your mood has not been alleviated, but it has become more ups and downs with every new discovery. If you want a divorce, collect evidence. If you don't want a divorce, please stop such behavior. Because such behavior is not conducive to recovery, it is more important to make your life centered on him, so you lose yourself. You don't even have extra thoughts to calm your emotions and tired heart. Isn't this putting the cart before the horse?
The "redemption" of losing oneself cannot be called redemption, but injustice and perfection.
Love that is wronged and perfect cannot last long, and it is easy to be swayed by considerations of gain and loss. This is not the happiness we want. Because a person loses himself, he will feel that he is not worthy of being loved, and he will gradually hate himself. I long for the outside world to meet all my needs. This demand can never be met. Slowly, you will go into the misunderstanding of recovery and lose yourself. The essence of redemption is actually to redeem yourself. You are the most important person in the world.
Some people may say, "The happiness I want is that my husband loves me. If he does not love me, I will not be happy. " First of all, our purpose is to save our husbands, yes. But as mentioned above, it is not feasible to just stare at my husband, and it is easy to show my low self-worth in front of each other. So, now that you understand, where should you pay attention? The answer is: yourself.
What do we need to do?
First, emotional management. Emotional management is the first thing to do. It is a shocking thing to find out that my husband is cheating. My emotions are easy to get out of control and I will do some stupid things. For example, in order to vent their anger, they tore up mistress, beat up in the street, tore clothes, called names, embarrassed mistress, recorded videos and so on.
If you do this, men will only feel more guilty about mistress, pity her and want to protect her. It's not good for you to think you're a bitch. For example, in order to vent their anger, they went home to scold their husbands, smashed everything that could be smashed at home in front of him, and swayed their emotions at will. Do you think this can make men cry and admit their mistakes, thus losing themselves?
I'm afraid the effect is counterproductive. This behavior makes men feel that Xiao San is gentle and considerate, which highlights your bad temper. So stop!
Only by stabilizing your emotions first will you not listen to the wind or rain, be caught off guard by a trivial matter, and be at a loss in front of problems. Then, save yourself. Psychologist Wu Zhihong often said: Be yourself. The ego is the source of energy. Without self, everything is empty. In addition, we mentioned a concept before: love depends on attraction. Realize that you are the core of attraction. So turn your attention from men to yourself! Whether he is fooling around with mistress again or not, even if you know, so what? If he is in the stage of brain madness, no one will listen.
Since cheating is a fact, learn to accept it! Although it hurts, we can't change what has happened, can we? People who refuse to accept the facts can't control their emotions in the first step, let alone save themselves and their husbands. Instead of obsessing too much emotionally, it is better to accept the facts, conform to the development of things, precipitate and improve yourself, and then find the right time to suit the remedy to the case and follow the trend.
Most of the time, the recovery is against yourself, because those conditioned emotions and intuition will often lead you astray, often hitting the south wall and never giving up, and never finding a way out. Remember: you are the most important person. Take care of yourself before taking care of others!
Regarding the coup to save the derailed husband, the tactics are different according to different situations. If you want to know more, you can consult your emotional tutor, make a "diagnosis" of your marriage, give your feelings a correct direction and make your life happier. Let's act.