1. Dependence or interdependence: Some people depend on their other half financially and feel that they can't live a luxurious life without money, or simply think that they can't stand on their own feet. Some people will not leave even if they are abused or unhappy in marriage, because the other party can provide a luxurious life. It feels good to go shopping in high-end stores or buy famous brands, but only if you are more enthusiastic about it than your spouse. Others feel that there is nowhere to go without a spouse, and this sense of helplessness is particularly strong when making a decision to stay.

2. Think that abuse is normal: Some people grow up in an environment where abuse often occurs and don't realize that their marriage is abnormal.

3. Inferiority: The spouse's long-term abuse and attack may make people with inferiority feel that being abused and beaten is their own reason.

4. Pregnancy or raising children: Some people are attached to unhealthy marriages because they feel pregnant or feel that they must let their children grow up in a complete family. Abusive spouses may also threaten that they will not be allowed to see their children once divorced.

5. Expecting change: Some people stay in unhealthy marriages because their spouses promise that they will change, and they also fantasize that their spouses will really change in the end. .

6. make do: some people would rather make do than live alone, thinking that living alone is terrible, and living with anyone is better than living alone. Dr. Wendy Walsh is in "Go or Stay: Why Good People Stick to Bad Marriages?" The book mentioned: "In the eyes of people who are afraid of loneliness, a bad marriage is tolerable. They will also misinterpret their future life and imagine that their life alone is much more terrible than the actual situation. "

7. Not bad: Some people think that abusing their spouses is "not bad for me". They don't think they deserve a better candidate. Instilled by their spouses, they have believed that no one will love them as much as their spouses; Spouses only love them, even if they are "shortcomings"; They are not good enough for others.

8. Cognitive inconsistency: Cognitive inconsistency means that we will plausibly defend our actions and never think that we are wrong. It is difficult for people to get rid of a bad marriage, because it is tantamount to admitting that their marriage has been unhappy for a long time, which is a mistake. If you can't accept and admit that there is something wrong with your marriage, you will still make excuses for your current persistence in this marriage.

9. Personal needs: It is very important not to give in on the issue of self-worth. Know your own needs and know how to be happy. We should stick to our own needs, find enough self-confidence and get out of that unhappy besieged city.