One thing we may do most in our life is to talk. A person who doesn't talk for a day may be able to hold back, and if he doesn't talk for a month, he may be able to hold back his depression. There are many words related to speaking alone, for example, saying nothing, saying nothing, talking in a few words, gushing, hesitating, eloquent, witty remarks, sweet words, whispering, nonsense, sweet words, harsh words, audacity and so on. It can be seen that there are various ways of speaking, which makes people feel different.

As the saying goes, a good word is warm in three winters, and a bad word is cold in June. Different ways of speaking have different consequences. Words express emotions, which are the language of the soul, the only way to the soul and the tangible bridge connecting people. This is too important. We must have something to say.

Speaking of this, I often say this to my husband gently and firmly, "Do you have something to say?" In order to remind him to pause when his emotions are red, to avoid a war between the two sides. Then express my emotions and let him know what I think. Strangely, the closer people are, the more stingy they are to express their ideas. It's wonderful to think that people who love themselves will understand themselves in everything. I always thought it was funny. I'm not a worm in your stomach, and I don't want to be a worm. Why do you have an obligation to bother to figure out your intentions? It's good to be outspoken and save everyone's time and energy. From this point of view, the indirect euphemism of the orientals really makes me feel more at ease than the simple and direct American style. Except, of course, under special circumstances.

I am glad that I have become more and more proficient and have more ways to treat my family since I started studying at Le Zhiyi Family University in the second half of last year. The gratifying changes are also great. Your own mentality will look at yourself more actively, return to yourself, connect with yourself, demand yourself and improve yourself, instead of complaining. Out of the control triangle, my usual way of speaking has also changed greatly. My tone is gentle and firm, and I care about people instead of things. My son is really affected!

I remember that I enrolled my son in a lunch class at that time, and I didn't choose the lunch class of my classmates who played well, because it was better for him. As a result, after school the next night, my son said to me in dismay, "Mom, I am very unhappy today." I asked him what happened, and he said that his good friend said that he would not sign up for the lunch class and stop playing with him. I said I wouldn't be happy if my good friend stopped playing with me, because I lost a good friend, but it will be fine in a few days. You told him that you actually wanted to attend the same lunch class with him, but mom signed up for another lunch class, which didn't affect you to play together after class. You still want to be friends with him. These little things should not affect your continued friendship. Now my son is still very good at expressing his emotions to me, and I know his heart better, and feel that I have become his bosom mother.

Psychologist Freud discovered the famous subconscious theory, that is, the process of psychological activity that has occurred but has not yet reached the state of consciousness. The subconscious mind is connected with the body, which is faster than the transmission of consciousness, but it will affect people's behavior to a greater extent. Expression will make us subconsciously contact with the information sent by the subconscious mind, so we need to express our emotions more actively so as not to hinder ourselves from overcoming difficulties. For example, when a child says, "This is too difficult!" It will form an invisible barrier in his heart, preventing him from overcoming difficulties with confidence and retreating easily. It's different to express it positively. For example, it says, "What a challenge! Congratulations! " At this time, it will stimulate children's desire to challenge and be more interested in solving problems.

Everything needs exercise. So is expression. Teacher Yinghai said that the expressions of sentence patterns are as follows:

I think ~ ~ ~ because ~ ~ I need ~ ~ ~ ~

You think ~ ~ ~ because ~ ~ you need ~ ~ ~ ~

After the expression, you should confirm it so that you can deal with the problem later. For example, we can send an invitation: What can I do for you? What can I do to make you feel better? In this way, things have entered a positive development.

The second skill that needs to be exercised in expression is to turn our usual negative expression into positive or neutral expression, such as:

Stop arguing! You don't want xx ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ this negative expression is easy to focus on the outside and not on what you need; Correct expression: I need to be quiet for a while I need to ~ ~ ~ express my emotions positively. Another person can feel accepted, understood and cared for. Excavating inner needs can constantly enhance your energy, which is also the embodiment of self-worth, and you will also get some needs and pleasure in your heart.

Don't be sad! ? Positive expression: I know you are a little sad;

This little thing deserves to be sad! ? Positive expression: I know you are a little sad.

Don't talk so loudly! ? Positive expression: please speak in a low voice;

Don't beat around the bush. ? Positive expression: Can you tell me directly what you want to say? ;

You don't care about me at all! ? Positive expression: I feel that I am not valued and need to be valued.

You are so annoying! ? The positive expression of the conversation is: you said that you are very upset now and need to be alone, right?

Is your daily expression resistance or acceptance? If you often cause resistance, you should learn to exercise yourself with these positive expressions, so that you can not only turn hostility into friendship, but also form a benign communication atmosphere at home. Why not?