Barry Lan Shu, a psychologist at the University of Florida, said: "There is absolutely no need to investigate whether a person's behavior has ulterior motives." Chances are that he or she doesn't realize that you will be hurt at all. When you point out rude words and deeds to him, this stupid offender usually apologizes to you.
How to get rid of the embarrassing situation? We must depend on the situation. If your boss scolds you repeatedly in front of colleagues, you can calmly and seriously point out, "Can we talk about this in private?"
Similarly, if the person who hurts you is a spouse or close friend, you can explain how embarrassed, embarrassed or even painful you feel, which is far better than hitting back at the other person in the same way.
If this person continues to embarrass you regardless of the occasion, you can clearly point out: "I find it difficult to trust you in the future."
The next time someone deliberately humiliates you, you can take a more drastic approach. Sometimes, you have to stop this humiliation at once. You said, "You embarrassed me. Would you mind telling me what's going on? " Or, "You look depressed. What's wrong with me that makes you unhappy? "
Whatever you do, you should avoid getting angry. Don't be angry. If you lose your cool attitude, you can only let the other side get the upper hand and make others dissatisfied with you.
Usually, the best way is to rely on wit and sense of humor. Edward Gross once told a typical story. This story is about the confrontation between two writers. A writer has just finished writing a book and is immersed in people's praise. Another writer was a little jealous of her and ran to her regardless of other people's persuasion. "I like your book. Who wrote it for you? " "I'm glad you like it," she replied. "Who read it to you?"
Therefore, it is often the best way to fight back by using quick wits, combining rigidity with softness, and not losing grace.
Several effective methods to relieve tension
If you feel nervous, you can choose the following methods to relax yourself for a period of time.
1. Listening to music, whether it's classical music, folk music or pop music, will help you relieve your nervous mood. If you can jump a few steps with the rhythm of the music, you will feel better.
Exercise is one of the most effective ways to relax. It's simple. As long as you lie in bed and do some stretching exercises 10 minutes, your limbs will feel stretched.
3, shower or bath can not only eliminate tension, but also eliminate fatigue. Soak in warm water, close your eyes and rest quietly for 20 minutes, and you will feel relaxed all over.
If there are flowers at home, you can water them when you are nervous. Appreciating plants can effectively relax your nervousness and breathe fresh air.
If you are nervous, you can also write to your good friends or family, and write out what you have encountered in the letter, which will not only increase your contact with each other, but also vent your nervousness.
6. Make something you usually like to eat. With the process of washing, cutting, seasoning and cooking, your excessive tension has long since vanished.
7. When you are nervous, you can also watch funny videos and various interesting TV programs to temporarily relieve your nervous mood through different clips.
8. If you can sing, play the piano, play the harmonica, play the violin or other musical instruments, you might as well use them to cope with your nervousness for the time being.
In short, when you are nervous, you must temporarily forget some unhappy things, divert your attention and do things you are interested in, such as chatting with friends, shopping, watching TV, listening to music and exercising. Relieve your nervous mood.