How do college students manage their emotions and learn to control them?
Although many college students are adults, their minds are not mature due to family and other growing environment. When they encounter things that are not in line with their wishes, they are prone to extreme ideas, impulsive and prone to friction with others. Therefore, if college students want to manage their emotions well, they must first learn to control their emotions, think more and calmly analyze everything.
Learn to vent:
When some emotions are out of control, college students should find ways to vent their bad emotions, such as running, climbing mountains and shouting. When emotions are vented, people will become calm. Only when they are calm can they think effectively and act impulsively.
Learn to transfer:
When we vent our emotions, we can also find some meaningful things to do, such as reading books, listening to music, helping others and so on. When people concentrate on doing one thing, emotions can be effectively transferred. Moreover, college students generally have more spare time and less academic pressure. At this time, they might as well use their spare time to do something more meaningful, so as to improve their ability and effectively alleviate bad emotions.
Learn to change:
When some college students know that they are prone to bad emotions and impulsiveness, they might as well take some time to think about their shortcomings, and then make some plans to correct them and try to change themselves. As long as you are willing to change and spend more time, I believe that no matter who you are, you can manage your emotions effectively.
Cultivate good habits:
Generally, college students who are difficult to manage their emotions will certainly have many bad habits, precisely because habits can determine people's behavior and emotions. Generally, people who are used to it have a regular life and a planned work. Such people are more stable, easy to control their emotions and not easily influenced by the outside world.
Increase social experience:
College students are generally vulnerable because they don't leave society and don't know the complexity of society. It is precisely because there is a blx that once life and emotions are not smooth, it is easy to produce negative emotions. Therefore, college students can use their spare time to get in touch with the society and increase their social experience as much as possible. When they see more and have more knowledge, their hearts naturally harden and they are not prone to mood swings.
Appropriate participation in psychological counseling:
If some college students still can't get rid of their bad emotions no matter what methods they use, they might as well use the help of psychologists to alleviate their bad emotions by participating in psychological counseling. Then, according to the advice and help of the psychologist, make a plan to control your emotions step by step. I think I can control my emotions after a while.
Study hard and be positive;
The job of college students is to study. Only when they study hard at school and lay a good foundation can they compete with others after leaving society and not be eliminated by others. Therefore, we must study hard and be positive during school, and don't let our bad emotions affect our study. As long as we have a calm heart when facing life, I don't think any bad mood can affect us.
On the emotional management of college students;
The status quo of anxiety and fear. Anxiety is an inevitable situation in life, which is mainly reflected in the following aspects.
There are many problems in freshmen's adaptation anxiety. Adapting to the environment is the whetstone for our growth. Before going to college, we don't need to worry about such trivial things as food, clothing, housing and transportation. After entering the university, most people left home. In addition to self-care, cities also have indicators. Many freshmen have to learn to adapt to the rhythm of their city. We often hear that some people always compare their hometown. The weather in my hometown is warm, the environment in my hometown is beautiful, and the communication between people in my hometown is better.
Learning anxiety, everyone has their own expectations and requirements, so learning anxiety is normal. Maintaining moderate anxiety is helpful for learning, while excessive anxiety needs relaxation and management.
Anxiety of interpersonal relationship, college students come from all over the country, with different living habits, personalities, interests, tempers, etc. It makes college students inevitably have conflicts in interpersonal communication. In particular, students in the same dormitory may have different schedules and expressions, which may lead to conflicts. Perhaps the contradiction between two people will also lead to disharmony in the whole dormitory. A place that should make people feel as warm as home has suddenly become a place that everyone doesn't want to stay. If we can't solve this contradiction in interpersonal relationship for a long time, it will lead to self-no longer communicating with others, not being recognized by others, causing psychological troubles, and more seriously, it will cause distrust and fear to people.
Love anxiety, college is the blooming period of emotion, unlike the shy and secret underground love affair in middle school. Love in college is completely free, and there is a certain time to run a love. You look at me, and I look back at you. The two soon fell in love. But it didn't take long, and we broke up soon. And this lovelorn is a problem that needs to be dealt with well. If it is not handled well, it may cause anxiety about this love and fear of the next love.
Employment anxiety, fierce social competition, we are very confused about our future, do not know how to find an ideal job, do not know what we should master in college to stand out in the future. How to treat all kinds of textual research? We can't make up our minds, so we are prone to anxiety.
The status quo of inferiority complex and depression. Most people have inferiority complex to some extent. Some people are not confident in communication, some people are dissatisfied with their families, some people are annoyed with their academic achievements, and some people care whether their looks are rejected.
And depression actually refers to a word that college students often talk about? Depression? We often feel idle and sigh that life is boring. If this state lasts for a long time, it is easy to become indifferent, indifferent to many things, unable to find self-worth and lose yourself in a complex society.
The status quo of good face. College students have strong self-esteem. If someone infringes on their dignity, it is really no ordinary trouble. Some people who are extremely face-saving may do things that hurt others and eventually lead to irreparable tragedy. In Marek's tragedy, self-esteem also played a role in fueling the situation.
After understanding these problems, let's discuss the methods of emotional management. First of all, the management methods discussed here refer to the self-emotional management of college students. Controlling your emotions can be divided into three steps. The first step is to know your own problems. For example, I realized that I was easily provoked and impulsive. The second step is to analyze the reasons for losing control. For example, is it because you are too arbitrary and impatient, listening to the wind is rain and lacking in thinking? The third step is to control your emotions at that time. Now that we know our own problems, what we need to do is how to effectively avoid losing control of our emotions. When you are in an angry state, you can eat something to distract yourself before you speak, and then go over what you want to express in your mind several times, perhaps thinking, and you will feel less angry. This will not avoid unnecessary contradictions.
Although this cognitive control method can be effective, long-term inhibition of transfer problems may still lead to psychological imbalance. Therefore, we need to find someone to talk to in time and tell our feelings. We don't have to get help from others. It's just that people sometimes suppress for too long, but it's much easier to speak their minds. So if someone talks to you, make time and energy to listen, because your actions may help him cross a big psychological barrier.
In addition to these two commonly used methods, there are many ways to manage emotions. For example, listening to music can adjust the mood, and watching some colors can adjust the mood. When you are depressed, looking at brightly colored things, such as red and yellow objects, will make people feel suddenly enlightened. When you are upset and confused, looking at some green objects will make you peaceful and energetic. When you are impetuous, you can look at some blue and black objects. These two colors will make people feel serious and have a calming effect.
Emotions are innate, and we don't have to manage them deliberately. In normal times, that is, when your mood is relatively stable, we should gradually develop the habit of being happy, be an optimistic person, see everything more broadly and care less. To learn tolerance and acceptance, we should not only tolerate others, but also accept ourselves. We are human beings, and it's normal to lose our temper and make us angry. Why do you have to be strict with yourself? Correct self-positioning is like water in a container, so that it won't overflow everywhere. Only with correct self-orientation can people control themselves better. We should learn to comfort ourselves and encourage ourselves to overcome bad emotions.
Solutions to college students' emotional management: 1. Rich. After graduating from high school, we are like runaway wild horses, leaving the shackles of exam-oriented education. The new environment, new knowledge, new goals and new hopes in the university make our new demands increase constantly. University is a small society, and various opportunities make college students eager to try. At the same time, fierce competition can be seen everywhere, and the scene that the winner is king and the loser is the enemy is staged almost every day. If one word is used to describe the emotional experience of a college student on a colorful day, it is to see more and feel more.
2. unstable. In all kinds of fierce competition environment, some college students' psychological and physiological characteristics are particularly unstable emotions and extremely easy to go to extremes. Maybe one second I was laughing with you, and the next I was sentimental. This is more common among girls.
3. strength. College students have strong self-esteem, are sensitive to external things and are young. Sometimes they accidentally do something impulsive, but they can't tell you why afterwards. Because college students are in the stage of rapid development but not really mature, our emotional experience comes quickly and strongly, and sometimes it is difficult to control even once the emotions break out. Of course, this kind of emotion disappears quickly, at least there is no danger of depression. But the negative consequences of this stormy mood are incalculable.
4. mood. Compared with the emotions easily controlled by the external environment in middle school, college students' emotions are more likely to be in a state of mind. Emotion means that after the emotion is activated, even if the stimulus disappears, we are still analyzing and thinking, so that the original passion can be transformed into a state of mind. This change has a dual nature. After positive passion is transformed into a state of mind, it helps students to remain optimistic and generate stronger motivation. When negative emotions turn into emotions, students will be depressed and unhappy, which will become the resistance to progress.
5. Hierarchy. This feature plays an important role in psychological debugging. For students at different stages, different methods are more conducive to emotional management. For example, freshmen are always enthusiastic when they first enter school, and they also face many adaptation problems. If you don't adapt well, you will easily feel lonely and lost. Sophomore students are neither excited nor relaxed, nor nervous and worried, and their emotions are generally stable. Except for personal love problems, you can generally adjust yourself very well. For junior and senior students, their sense of hardship may be stronger when they are nearing graduation or preparing for postgraduate entrance examination. With the increase of their personal knowledge and experience and the expansion of social scope, they are more concerned about their future development and life society. Their emotions began to show a contradictory and complicated side, and the implication and richness of their emotions were obviously enhanced.
The management and adjustment of college students' emotions learn to adjust their emotions.
(A) improve the cognitive ability of emotions
Emotional cognitive ability includes two aspects, one is the ability to perceive one's own emotions, and the other is the ability to recognize others' emotions.
(1) Improve your ability to perceive your emotions.
To improve the ability to perceive one's emotions, we should first recognize one's feelings, that is, superficial emotions, distinguish and identify the real needs and emotional feelings behind superficial emotions, and then accept them frankly. This requires us to:
First, you should be aware of your emotional state in time. In other words, I should always remind myself: What is my mood now? No matter what kind of negative emotions you are in, pause and interrupt your current emotions and jump out, so that you can first perceive your emotions, whether they are happy or angry, comfortable or uncomfortable. If you are unkind to your friend because he is late for an appointment, you should ask yourself: How do I feel now? We should confirm ourselves that the emotion behind indifference is anger.
Second, we should distinguish and identify the true emotional feelings behind the superficial emotions. For example, sometimes we can only feel uncomfortable and unhappy roughly. As for that? Not feeling well? I can't say what it is. At this time, we need to further explore emotions and try to ask ourselves: What makes me feel uncomfortable? Is this discomfort anger, sadness, depression, fear, shame or guilt? If it is a feeling close to anger, is it grievance, dissatisfaction, hostility, anger or indignation? If it is an emotion like shame, will you feel guilty, embarrassed, regretful or humiliated? If you guide yourself step by step, you can divide vague and general emotions into more specific and clear emotions, and then you can further use the clues brought by emotions to deal with them.
Third, we must further clarify our complex emotions in order to clearly understand our emotional state. Usually, we are in a complicated emotional state. For example, sometimes our minds are confused and our emotions are mixed, and the whole person feels upset. At this time, we must pause to interrupt the current mood and calmly clarify. As long as there are more than two kinds of complex emotions mixed with emotions, we need to further clarify them, peel off those tangled emotions and identify the hidden real emotions. By combing emotions layer by layer, we can understand our emotional state more clearly, prescribe the right medicine and effectively solve practical problems. Clearing our emotions can also help us focus on introspection and have a calming effect.
Improve your understanding of your emotions, and the second is to recognize the causes of emotions through analysis. Only by clearly understanding the causes of emotions can we understand the ins and outs of emotions and truly perceive our own emotions. This requires us to:
First, we should clearly understand the various factors that affect our mood.
Second, we should deeply analyze the subjective reasons (rational thinking) that cause our emotions. Usually, we all think that the reason why we are angry, angry and depressed is caused by the external environment. The ABC theory, which was developed in the 1950s, holds that emotions do not directly come from external induced events, but are attributed to the individual's thoughts and ideas on this matter (this theory and method will be introduced in detail in the following contents). Therefore, discussing the reasons and understanding the thoughts and beliefs behind emotions can help us find out which thoughts or ways of thinking make us have negative emotions.
We should improve our ability to perceive our emotions, and we should also calmly accept our emotions and express them appropriately. This requires:
First, accept your emotions frankly. Can't be suppressed or excluded.
Second, express your emotions appropriately (reasonable and appropriate disclosure and venting). The effective way to express emotions should be to describe the essence of emotions calmly and non-critically, to describe rather than vent directly, and the verbal expression of emotions should be clear and specific.
② Improve the ability to identify others' emotions.
How to improve the ability to identify other people's emotions?
First of all, we should understand the characteristics of human emotional expression. (Emotion is a specific explicit behavior of emotion, including the expression of emotion in face, speech and body posture, which is called facial expression, verbal expression and body expression. )
Secondly, we should grasp the regularity of emotion recognition.
How to accurately identify other people's emotions? The accuracy of emotion recognition is influenced by many factors. One is from facial expression recognition. Isn't the main clue to recognize emotions from faces there? Between the eyes? Instead, it should be identified by the movements of those muscle groups with more activities on the face. Second, some emotions are easy to identify, while others are difficult to identify. Generally speaking, happiness and anger are the easiest to identify, while fear, sadness and disgust are more difficult to identify. Thirdly, identifying emotions from the situations of emotional behaviors has high accuracy; However, the accuracy of identifying emotions in isolation is low. Fourthly, if facial expression recognition can be combined with body expression, it will be more conducive to accurately judging emotional state. Fifth, the importance of verbal expression should not be underestimated (tone). Sixth, it is not enough to accurately identify a person's emotions just by expression. The emotional expression of normal adults can be adjusted at will, and emotions can be generated without expressions, and expressions can also appear without emotional experience.
There are several ways to cultivate a good mood:
First, we should establish real self-confidence. What are the common methods? Make up for it with diligence? 、? Stupid birds fly first? 、? Foster strengths and avoid weaknesses? Wait a minute. Finally, we should study hard and practice hard, constantly enrich ourselves and improve our quality. This is the most fundamental way to cultivate self-confidence.
The second is to cultivate an open-minded and optimistic attitude. Lincoln said: As long as they want happiness, most people can get what they want. ? In other words, as long as you believe you will succeed, your personal activities can develop and realize these ideas.
Third, we should cultivate a moderate sense of hardship. How to cultivate a moderate sense of urgency? First of all, we must really understand the value of time. Time is the wealth of the diligent, the treasure house of the creator, the burden of the lazy and the grave of the prodigal son. Secondly, we should cultivate a sense of time and planning. Once again, seize the moment.