The possible risks of older parents having a second child.
Indeed, in this era of "comprehensive second child", parents choose to raise another child with the wind, which requires more considerations and greater risks:
1. When you are old, your physical function is worse than before, which may lead to complications and even life-threatening;
2. If you don't consider the wishes of the first-born child, you may impose heavy responsibilities on the other party, which may destroy the feelings of both parties;
3. Now it's not just eating and wearing warm clothes to raise children. The cost of future growth plus the cost of marriage will consume a lot of capital.
Your parents look different from other people's parents. If you don't pay attention to adjustment, the child's psychology will be unacceptable;
It takes a lot of energy and physical strength to raise children. From staying up late in the first few years to later homework guidance, I am likely to feel overwhelmed when I am old.
6. Old, underage children, adult children have to take care of their younger brothers and sisters, support the elderly, and support their small families. The burden is too heavy.
However, in many comments, I found that not all older parents will be opposed by their first-born children, and not all brothers and sisters with large age differences will be opposed. There is such a family, after giving birth to a second baby, the family atmosphere is more harmonious. Let's share the story of this family.
18-year-old college entrance examination boys volunteered to ask their parents to have a second child.
This is the home of a reader's classmate in Guangzhou. Anyone who has an only child in the family knows that parents will do their best to put their love and expectations on this child. A few years ago, my son was going to take the college entrance examination. Parents often say, "Son, you are our only child. You must work hard ... "
The college entrance examination can really change a person's life trajectory and is a turning point in life. However, when parents place such heavy expectations on their son, even though his grades are very good, he still feels breathless pressure.
After careful consideration, the son actively communicated with his parents, talked about his own pressure in detail, and suggested that the second child should be released anyway, hoping that parents can have another child, so that parents can focus on the newborn, pass on the pressure, and prepare for the college entrance examination with a good attitude, and at the same time the cohesion of the whole family will be stronger.
After discussion, the family decided to carry out artificial pregnancy under the current economic ability, and then the mother successfully gave birth to twins, and the parents turned their attention to the newborn and stopped putting too much pressure on the eldest son.
The eldest son has also been admitted to a good university in this city. He still studies very hard, often helps with housework at home, and feels that family responsibilities are great. In his spare time, he also works part-time to earn living expenses.
Moreover, the eldest son will be more cautious about his love life, saying that he has no economic independence and will not consider falling in love in college for the time being. The eldest son has graduated from graduate school this year and has several stable incomes. When chatting, he can feel his sense of responsibility for his family, and his attitude towards premarital sex is different from that of many young people. Isn't this a harvest?
What older couples must do to have a second child.
It can be seen that not all older couples will be deadlocked after choosing to have a second child. Of course, there are many things you need to do to have a happy ending, such as the following.
1. Need to get the boss's consent. This is necessary, and the boss's feelings should be taken into account. The boss is an adult, so he can't act first and then act, nor can he ask the other party to pay for the decision made by his parents by moral kidnapping, otherwise it will cause great cracks;
2. Raise a second child by yourself. This is how the first child was raised. Second, there is no reason to blame the boss. The boss has no obligation. As parents of a second child, since they chose to be born, they should fulfill their parents' obligations;
3. pave the way for the future of the second child. The second child needs extremely high growth expenses and marriage expenses in the future. You can arrange insurance and other affairs in advance, at least without dragging down the boss and putting too much pressure on him.
4. Exercise yourself. When you want to have a second child, you are usually forty or fifty years old, and your physical function is gradually declining. Your energy and physical strength are naturally not as good as when you were young, but you should still exercise hard to ensure your health. Only parents can have a second child.
5. Prepare for retirement. No matter whether you are young or not, you should be fully prepared for your own pension. You can arrange insurance, financial management and other affairs in advance to achieve "risk prevention and transfer", so that you will not be entangled in old diseases and your children are still young, which will only increase the burden on your boss;
6. Educate children to be independent. This kind of education needs a bowl of water. It is not that the boss must let the second child, and the child should get used to it when he is young. At the same time, we should know that parents have good economic ability and have nothing to do with their children. It is necessary to educate children that "if you don't work hard, even if you have money, you will lose." Children will not be born with the concept that "parents' property is mine", so they should be educated to be independent and self-reliant, instead of always thinking about inheriting their parents' property;
7. Don't drag the boss down. This should be the biggest contradiction. When the boss is an adult, he will get married and have children, and he will also form a new small family of his own. It is difficult to take care of his parents, let alone raise his brother and sister. Therefore, it is most important not to drag down the boss. Once he does, his daughter-in-law will not have any big opinions in the future.
Conclusion:
Many parents will selfishly fulfill their personal wishes under the guise of "you are too lonely to have brothers and sisters to accompany you", but they put the heavy responsibility on the boss, which leads to many contradictions.
In fact, if we communicate well and pave the way for the future, the most important thing is not to drag down the boss, and everything is easy to say. Parents do have the right to have a second child, but only if they can, they must be able to raise a lot, don't drag down the boss, or want to shift the responsibility of being a parent to the boss.
Indeed, the boss was born to you, but he/she is an independent individual, and you have no right to restrict his/her freedom of life, nor to kidnap him/her morally for the future.
Everyone has a different life and experience. It cannot be said that such a family must be unhappy. I hope this is one of the many irresponsible parents who will not drag down the older children. I also hope this is the best ending.