When I was a counselor in Tsinghua, I heard such comments from time to time in the selection and discussion of freshmen counselors every year.
When confronted with two similar candidates, students often abandon the "too utilitarian" one.
Coincidentally, in the communication with some graduate tutors, I have also heard the saying that "candidates with less utility are more willing to be admitted in the interview".
1.？ What do you mean, too utilitarian?
Utilitarianism, as its name implies, is the psychology of pursuing fame and fortune.
In this world, complete utilitarianism is impossible.
You and I are mortal, and the utilitarian heart of the golden mean allows us to keep forging ahead and strive hard to create a better life for ourselves and our families.
However, once the utilitarian heart is too strong, our efforts will become dull.
The so-called utilitarian heart is too strong, that is, doing things entirely for "external returns" and lacking internal self-drive. Once the "external reward" is obtained or disappeared, they will stop trying.
Take the students I have contacted, it is difficult to find clues from the report card alone. But through daily contact, everything is clear.
Students who are too utilitarian completely follow the "external evaluation standard" in course selection and effort:
Which course to choose is easy to learn, and the teacher will give you high marks, because it will be helpful for ranking grades and evaluating scholarships, and your future resume will be more beautiful.
Which social worker to choose has more publicity opportunities, because it can win more resources and attention, and it is more convincing to find a job in the future.
Including future career planning, which industry makes money quickly and which company pays well.
In the conversation with them, I can't feel their sincerity, as if they were robots manipulated by the outside world, accurately calculating every gain and loss.
Facing them who make full use of all kinds of rules of the game, I look clumsy, scared and helpless.
Last autumn, I gave a scientific practice class to a group of children in key middle schools in Beijing and used my lunch break to chat with them.
I asked them what subjects they like and what kind of people they want to be in the future.
Their answers caught me off guard.
"What do I like, what do I think? There are no grades in this scientific practice, only credits. Everyone is dealing with it. Teacher, don't take it too seriously. "
On another occasion, I corrected the project summary report for children in a key middle school in Mentougou.
At first, the children were quite active in asking questions around me and listening to me patiently.
However, as soon as I heard that my grades would not be included in their final grades, the children dispersed in a hubbub and threw the project manuals everywhere. In the end, only one girl in the class was willing to read the topic manual from beginning to end. After discovering that I was the editor-in-chief of the topic manual, she also took the initiative to consult with me.
This is still the case in a relatively simple campus, not to mention after entering the society. There are many bosses or employees who are too utilitarian in the workplace, and there are also many purposeful friends or dismissals in interpersonal communication.
2.？ What's wrong with being too utilitarian?
You may say that there is nothing wrong with being too utilitarian! Get a good ranking in the school and get a high scholarship; Step into the society, find a good job with high income and live a carefree life. Isn't this the winner in life?
I want to say, yes, people who are too utilitarian can often live a decent life.
However, a decent life does not mean a happy life.
I once worked as a tutor for a middle school student for a while. His parents are both university teachers. They have a house and a car at home, and they have no worries about food and clothing. He has enjoyed the high-level educational resources of this university since kindergarten.
However, he is tired of learning. I asked him to talk about his innermost thoughts.
There was a hint of despair in his answer.
"Study hard, get into a good university, find a good job, buy a house and a car like my parents, and then what? What's the point of them being so busy every day? "
I don't have much contact with his parents, but I have carefully observed their interaction with their children, their home furnishings and daily life.
I can clearly see their sensitivity and agility in improving living conditions and improving work returns. For them, the work in colleges and universities is a decent way to make money and a tool to gain higher social status.
But I can't feel their enthusiasm for work and love for life.
This is the result of being too utilitarian. In the process of striving for "external return", I lost myself, lost my passion for life, and alienated myself into a pawn of social manipulation.
People who are too utilitarian cannot be great, because "external rewards" and "social standards" are changeable and unreliable. They tend to be complacent for a while, but it is difficult to laugh at the end.
People who are too utilitarian love to take and take shortcuts, and often resent setbacks.
Therefore, whether recruiting graduate students or new employees, experienced tutors and leaders will avoid those who are "too utilitarian" and choose those who are really smart and are willing to work hard.
People who are too utilitarian will never understand those who act for their own internal motives, and the latter are not manipulated, which makes them afraid.
3.？ Less utilitarian, more normal.
Life is impermanent and full of uncertainty.
Today, the knowledge and skills of school assessment may be outdated in the future, the most profitable industry in today's society may decline in the future, and the hot spots sought after by everyone today may become yesterday's flower.
The key is you, what do you love, what do you want to do and what kind of life do you want? !
In order to live the life you want, you must first find a job to support yourself.
In order to find a job, you must graduate from school first.
In order to graduate from school, you should take enough credits.
However, in the process of hard work, please combine your heartfelt love with the direction of hard work, be more ordinary and less utilitarian, be honest with yourself and be sincere to others.
Look down on the gains and losses of the moment and look further at the choice of life.
We came to this world for a walk, not just to get ahead.
Life is so precious that it should have a deeper and richer meaning.