Chen Guo separated "love" in a philosophical way, from two aspects: "love" and "affection":

"Love" is melancholy, desire and interest; And "love" is strength, life and faith.

"Love" is a lie of "love". There are always many "feelings". Only when an emotion is higher than the value of our own life is it "love".

In Good Love, Chen Guo quoted a sentence from the story of a small window by Chen Jiru, a famous figure in the Ming Dynasty: Love lasts the longest, so many lovers will be widowed.

This passage means that "love" is the most difficult thing to keep for a long time, so people with too many feelings will eventually become shallow and heartless;

In fact, there is a half sentence behind this sentence: sex has its nature, so wayward people will not lose sex.

It is said that people born with certain common sense will never lose their nature.

Although the last half sentence is not quoted, it tells the different attitudes of two people with different temperament to love.

Just like the phrase "love at first sight", people often fall in love with someone for a second, but they don't know how to love Ta all their lives.

So, under Chen Guo's philosophy, what is good love?

Good love must be long-term love. Long-term love means falling in love with the same person again and again.

Good love means loving everyone, loving every aspect of Ta: the good side, the bad side, the proud side and the lost side. ...

Good love means loving a person's life and every stage of Ta: juvenile frivolous Ta, young Ta, nagging Ta, white-haired TA. ...

In real life, we are all eat drink man woman full of fireworks. In love, everyone expects to eat, sleep, think, talk and play together. ...

This is the best thing to do, but there are too many things that are unsatisfactory in love and life, not to mention the ever-changing love.

Therefore, good love is such a state: ever-changing and consistent.

We can often see and hear such a question at western-style weddings: Are you willing to marry him (her), love him (her), protect him (her) and treat him (her) as yourself, whether in sickness or in health, in poverty or in wealth, and do not leave him until death?

Several couples replied: I do.

This is the best declaration of love: love Ta as yourself, walk with you all the way, and never give up.

The most important thing in love is "I love you", not "you love me". This is somewhat contrary to what we often hear, "fall in love with the person you love and marry the person who loves you", which just shows that love is an active behavior, not a passive acceptance.

I love you, not because you are perfect. I love you because you are you. This is the person I love, the real you. I love you because you are.

The idea of love is wonderful, not because you are more lovely, beautiful and excellent than others objectively, but because I only have attachment and yearning for you, and I only hope to get along with you day and night.

So "I love you" in love can better reflect the true meaning of "love" than "you love me".

The extreme of "I love you" is "I know you".

"I know you" means to think of each other from each other's perspective, which is almost eat drink man woman's best yearning for love.

So, how to make "love" deep love unchanged? How to make "love" sustainable?

One is to reach a deep tacit understanding with each other, that is, "know you"; The other is to try to keep two people psychologically synchronized, that is, we often say that in love, we can fulfill each other and grow together.

However, two people who love each other again will inevitably have "lovers talk more than half", and "quarrel" is the most common kind of love.

How do we view "quarrels" in love relationships?

"Quarrel" is a relatively "crazy" way of communication between two people who love each other. This abnormal dialogue mode can help you see the abnormal Ta and better understand what kind of person Ta is after the mask falls.

It is not terrible for two people who love each other to quarrel. I have always been suspicious of the legendary "Qi Mei" and "respect each other as guests", let alone lovers who live together day and night. On such a polite occasion, even the closest friends are not counted.

And two people who really love each other are still two people who love each other after quarreling, and there will be no emotional barriers.

I believe that if you have read this book and have never been in love, you will know how to love; If you are lovelorn, you will believe in love again.

I believe that no matter when you are, you can learn how to spend your life with the people you love from this book.

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Remarks:

Chen Guo is a doctor of philosophy in Fudan University, a veritable beauty professor. He is the guest speaker of CCTV's Let's Talk. On 20 17, Chen Guo was named "Top Ten Most Beautiful Ideological and Political Teachers in China".

Her "Friends Useless Theory" has spread all over the country, and her online videos "About Love" and "Loneliness and Loneliness" have a click-through rate of over 100 million.

In her short book Beautiful Love, Chen Guo not only tells the story of beautiful love in a philosophical way, but also talks about maturity and freedom, how to know ourselves objectively, how to realize our life, beliefs, culture and religion, and so on.

In short, this is a very good "little" book. Regardless of gender and age, if you still have love, long for love, hope to grow forever and are willing to change, I recommend you to read it.