Love between teachers and students, I believe many people have heard of it, and even seen it. From Qiong Yao's Out of the Window to the movie Farewell to the Classroom, from Lu Xun and Xu Guangping in the 1930s to Yang Zhenning and Weng Fan in the new century, the love between teachers and students is a lasting way of love. However, most people often accept that the love between teachers and students is a love story or a literary work, but there are many controversies about what happens around them.
In Jingjing campus, in addition to getting along with classmates day and night, boys and girls have the most contact with the knowledgeable and inculcated teachers in the school. Teachers are enthusiastic about teaching and care about students, so they often bring students a lot of fantasy, worship and even love. Therefore, the love between teachers and students has always been endless. However, since ancient times, teachers have been positioned as elders who are responsible for preaching, teaching and dispelling doubts, and the relationship with students is also different from top to bottom, so the love between teachers and students is a long-lasting and controversial topic. You can also see it when you turn on the TV or open the newspaper. There are also many teachers and students who have been treated by the school but have not shown their faces and kept secrets from the public. The fever continues. More complicated, teacher-student love is often associated with sexual assault.
The love between teachers and students is not a special phenomenon, but a very normal and universal phenomenon. In the contact between teachers and students, it is easy to have some strange feelings. In front of students, teachers keep the image of "mentor and friend" and abide by the moral requirements of "learning to be a teacher and be a model". Therefore, teachers in general are very meaningful and kind to students, especially mature male teachers are more attractive to girls. The temperament of a mature male teacher is definitely not what boys of the same age as girls have. As for female teachers, caring about students makes boys feel extremely warm. Most female teachers are kind and gentle in the eyes of boys. Adolescent students, in a period of psychological fluctuation and irritability, often feel lonely and helpless inside, and teachers' care is easy to make them dependent. As a group of teachers, caring for students is a habit. Moreover, the dependence of students can easily make teachers have a strong sense of responsibility, so they can't stop.
Adolescent boys and girls, inexperienced and inexperienced, often come into contact with the opposite sex, except their relatives and classmates, who are their teachers. A young and excellent single teacher (even married) is more likely to be the object of students' worship and admiration than others. Usually this situation is that girls have a crush on male teachers.
Teacher-student love, also called calf love, means calf's attachment to cattle. This formulation first appeared in the theory of American psychologist haylock, who divided the development of teenagers' sexual consciousness into four stages, namely: 1, the aversion period of alienating the opposite sex, 2, the calf love period of yearning for the adult opposite sex, 3, the fanaticism period of pursuing the opposite sex and 4, the formal romantic love period. Calf love refers to the admiration and infatuation of teenagers who enter the sexual budding stage for the elderly. Calf love is the return of Oedipus complex and Oedipus complex under the specific conditions of adolescence. Oedipus complex and Oedipus complex are two important concepts in psychoanalytic theory.
Oedipus complex is a kind of complex emotion of a son's mother to his father. Freud believed that in the sexual organ stage of sexual psychological development (about 3-5 years old), children's sexual requirements should be met by close heterosexual parents. Oedipus complex, also known as Oedipus complex. According to legend, in Greek mythology, Dresia Oedipus unintentionally killed his biological father and married his mother against his will. Freud described his son's attachment to his mother and fear of his father during his sexual organ period. In his view, boys fall in love with their mothers, but they are murderous to their fathers. They compete with their father for affection. Subconsciously, they want to take over their mother, but at the same time, they admit that their father is stronger than themselves, thus suppressing their sexual impulse to their mother, and pretending to be their father psychologically, transforming their hatred for their father into imitating their behavior and attitude, thus winning their mother's love. This Oedipus complex is the climax of children's sexual desire development, and also the key moment of sexual psychology and personality development. In general, boys are afraid of their father's punishment-castration, which leads to% E8% 99% 91"> Castration anxiety, depression anxiety, Oedipus complex gradually disappeared.
Electracomplex refers to the complex feelings of a daughter's love for her father and her resistance to her mother. Freud called the little girl's deep love for her father and her desire to put her mother aside and take her place the Oedipus complex. He believes that girls, like boys, first take the mother who directly takes care of her growth as the object of love. During the sexual organ period (about 3-5 years old), she gradually realized that she had no male genitalia, so she complained about her mother and envied her mother for possessing her father. Freud described this complex with Electra, a Greek mythological figure. Usually, this complex of loving father is suppressed by castration complex.
Freud's idea was criticized by the neo-Freudian school, arguing that the theory of Oedipus complex and Oedipus complex had no scientific basis. Freud also admitted that many people did not show this kind of complex. Many sons and fathers, daughters and mothers have very harmonious feelings and are not hostile. However, Freud believes that the former situation is due to the complete suppression of the father (mother) love knot, while the latter situation is the performance of homosexuality.
Adolescent boys and girls want to be independent but can't get rid of their dependence on their parents, so when their sexual consciousness awakens, they often transfer their attachment to their parents to some older adults of the opposite sex. This feeling of puppy love has been experienced by almost everyone in adolescence to varying degrees.
Under realistic conditions, boys and girls can't openly express their love for the opposite sex of the same age, or because their peers usually don't have all the qualities they want, heroes, sports stars, singers, movie stars, masters in romance novels, and some elders around them, such as teachers and parents' colleagues, often become the objects of their worship and attachment. This explains the cause of the phenomenon of groupies to some extent.
Teacher-student love has the following characteristics:
1, blind. In school, many talented, personable and caring teachers often become the objects of students' worship and attachment. Because students lack social experience, narrow vision, immature thoughts and feelings, it is difficult to objectively and comprehensively evaluate themselves and others, so this kind of worship and love is very blind.
2. Impulse. Love between teachers and students is a normal feeling, but it is often immature. Every word and deed, every smile of the teacher attached to the primary school may be regarded as a message of love, which will arouse emotional ripples in the heart and make people daydream. Students often realize that they shouldn't, but it is difficult to control their thoughts, feelings and behaviors.
3. Concealed. Boys and girls who fall in love know very well that their love is not allowed by social customs and morality, nor by schools and parents, so most people bury their feelings in their hearts and have no courage to express them. Therefore, as if nothing had happened on the surface, their inner feelings are surging, and each other's every move will involve their own hearts.
4. temporary. Calf love is a specific stage in the process from the germination of sexual consciousness to love, which determines the transience of teacher-student love. With the development of sexual psychology, the object of their love will inevitably change from the elderly to their peers. The duration of teacher-student relationship ranges from one or two years to five or six years.
Students' secret love for teachers constitutes the basis of teacher-student love. If the teacher attached to the students also likes their own students, they may fall in love with both teachers and students. Students worship their teachers, because many qualities of teachers are the ideal qualities they pursue. Teachers always care about themselves, appreciate themselves and constantly give themselves encouragement and confidence. Teachers love students because the edges and corners of adults have been polished by social life, while students are just wet behind the ears and look pure, satisfying teachers' desire for pure feelings. In addition, students often play the role of admirers, teachers are admirers, and students are their best listeners, so this relationship model brings teachers dignity that is difficult to obtain in general interpersonal communication, and often brings great psychological satisfaction to teachers. This may be the ideological and emotional basis of teacher-student love.
The relationship between teachers and students is often bitter. One side of the relationship is a high school student whose thoughts and feelings are not yet mature, and the other side is an adult, but the teacher can accept the students' feelings, which also shows to some extent that his thoughts and feelings are not yet fully mature, which makes the ideological and emotional foundation that constitutes the love between teachers and students inherently unstable. So when they fall in love, after a period of sweetness, there will often be a crisis and they will begin to disagree because of trivial matters. In addition, because students face the college entrance examination, it is an important opportunity for students. They can't give up, and their parents certainly won't give up. Being admitted has realized their dream for many years, but it also means separation from each other. I can't pass the exam. Although inseparable, one side lost the opportunity to develop itself. These big and small things make them get the joy from the opposite sex at first. After sharing a little happiness, they begin to mix pain with happiness, excitement and depression, which will greatly affect their normal study and life. In addition, it is against professional ethics for teachers and students to fall in love. If teachers still have their own families, their love will face a severe moral test. Secretive love will make both sides uneasy from time to time, and it will also make both sides fall into deep pain.
There have been some successful relationships between teachers and students in history, such as Mr. Lu Xun and Xu Guangping, Qu Qiubai and Yang Zhihua, but they were all adults at that time. The most important thing is that they all had a deep understanding of life and their thoughts were mature and stable. The pursuit of * * * brought them together, and like-minded people formed the basis of their love. In contrast, the love between teachers and students in high school rarely reaches this level, and the present era is completely different from the past. If we really have this true feeling, let time test it. Sun Yunxiao's method is very good. If you have been away in college for several years and still think this kind of teacher-student love is rare, then it is understandable that lovers have a jack-in-the-box.
Although the students found information on the Internet, they are also eager to get your help. Come on ~ ~ Time will tell ~ ~
I wish you get true love soon ~ ~