My daughter Ellie will leave home for college in a week. Her room is full of shopping bags, which contain blankets, towels, jeans and sweaters.

She didn't say she was leaving.

I said; "I will miss you." She took one look at me and left the room. On another occasion, I said to her in a friendly tone that surprised me, "Do you think you should take those posters and photos away, or are you going to buy new ones after going to college?"

She answered angrily, "How should I know?"

My daughter usually goes out with her friends. Yesterday was the last day before Christmas, and she stayed with her friend Catherine. She knew Catherine when she was in kindergarten. Soon, she will spend the last day with Sarah, Claire and Heather, and then it will be her turn to spend the last day with me.

My friend Karen said to me, "I remember screaming at my mother for eight months before I went to college." You must be prepared. "

I stood in the kitchen and watched Ellie make a cup of iced tea. She used to be so cheerful and full of trust, but now she is a stranger to me. I think hard and want to say something meaningful and warm to her. I want her to know that I am excited about the university she chose: I know that the adventure in her life has just begun; I'm proud of her. But the expression on her face is so angry that I feel that whenever I speak, she will beat me up.

One night, after we were silent for a long time, I asked her if I had done something wrong or said something wrong that made her so angry with me. She sighed and said, "Mom, you didn't do anything wrong. Everything is fine. " Everything is fine-just estranged.

In the past, we always found ways to communicate. When Ellie was a toddler, I often picked her up from work at the day care center and found a quiet place to nurse her-our eyes were in harmony and we were soul mates.

When Ellie was in junior high school, other children's mothers lamented that Dou Nianhua's daughter was getting more and more alienated from them, so I thought of a way: rescue the raid. I will occasionally appear at school, take her out of the classroom and take her somewhere, such as going out for lunch, going to the movies and walking on the beach together. This may sound irresponsible, but it keeps our mother and daughter close, while other mothers are going through a crisis with their daughters. When we go out together, we talk about everything. Travel is our secret, and we never mention it to our family and friends.

When she started high school, I got up with her every morning and made sandwiches for her for lunch. Before the school bus arrives at 6: 40, we often have a cup of tea quietly together.

When she was a senior in high school, several times, I walked into her room at night, and the light was out, but she was still awake. I sat beside her bed, and she told me some problems she encountered: a teacher gave her a low score because she was ashamed to speak in class; A boy teased her; A friend started smoking. Her voice came from the darkness, immature and full of doubts.

After a few days, she always calls me, so I repeat what I said to her, and she has already started practicing.

But now, we are faced with two forms of separation. I want a romantic version: let's go to lunch together, lean on the table and say how much we will miss each other. I am eager to laugh in tears, recall the bitterness and sweetness of the past, and finally hope to have a chance to say a few words of wisdom.

But when Ellie was ready to leave, her feelings were hidden. When I reached out to touch her arm, she shook her hand and refused every invitation I sent. She is lying in bed reading Emily Dickinson's works. When I said that I had always liked Emily Dickinson, she closed the book at once.

Some people say that the tighter you restrain your child, the more she will break away from you and prove her weight in this world, which is even more distressing. A friend of mine once broke up with her daughter, and now the mother and daughter are as close as ever. She said to me, "Your daughter will come back to you."

"I don't know," I said. Sometimes I feel so angry that I really want to go over and give Avery a hard shake. I want to say to her, "talk to me-or I won't let you go out!" " Another mantra of mothers is the most terrible: "think about everything I have done for you!" " "I think I just want to say it.

One night, when I was preparing to wash and sleep, she came to the bathroom door and watched me brush my teeth. For a moment, I thought it must be the way I brushed my teeth that she couldn't agree. But she said, "I want to read you something." That is a pamphlet sent by her university. "Here are some suggestions for parents."

I looked at her face and she read aloud:' Don't ask your child if he is homesick',' the brochure said.' She may feel bad in the first few weeks, but you don't have to worry about it. This is a natural transition stage. Write to her more and call her more. Send her a pack of delicious food. ..........................................................................................................................................................................

She can't read any more. She came up to me and buried her head on my shoulder. I stroked her hair gently, for fear that she would run away if I opened my mouth. We stood there for a long time, wobbling, looking for the interface between mother and daughter again.

I know there will be difficult times. We may have an argument about something in the future. But thank god. I'm still standing here in the middle of the night, and we're both tired and sad, with toothpaste on our chin. My daughter is trying to say goodbye to me-I don't want to let go, and I have to let go.

1 1, gone with the wind-passing clouds 12, (1) The daughter showed disgust and irritability to her mother's words and deeds; (2) The mother feels anxious and uneasy about her daughter's performance; 13, my daughter doesn't adapt to the coming family life. Attachment to family and family is masked by anxiety. It takes hard work to keep the mother-daughter relationship close, suggesting that the following relationship will also reach new intimacy. Mother and daughter can understand each other, adapt to each other, communicate with each other, and have similarities. 39| Comments (20)