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Probably because of the age of adolescence, everything belongs to youth and frivolity, and everything seems to be taken for granted. I silently make excuses for all my mistakes, and I don't need to avoid them, just because I am in adolescence. Then, I realized that I had changed, a lot.
I hate to admit it, but it has changed. No matter how parents complain, they just deny it. Afterwards, I just laughed it off. It doesn't matter. I just want to be so rebellious. But in his bones, he is obviously considered a good student by everyone. I thought that when I grew up, I would no longer care about trifles, and I could face my achievements calmly. I thought good students would change.
Recently, I have had a good time. I seem to have forgotten my grades. I know I will look at everything very calmly. In just a few weeks, I took a lot of exams, with average results and no scruples. At least the score is passable. I just play and learn, and I don't care about all the complaints. I know I'm not fooling around.
Therefore, I feel more relaxed than ever. Somehow, I took a math test in a muddle, and the blow was unprecedented. Look at this red pen mark, it's a math score I've never seen before. I seem to have forgotten how to do the paper, but I'm sad anyway. There are disappointments, fears, feelings, and more inexplicable feelings.
At school, I still laugh and laugh, as always, without any change. No one can see my sadness, only myself, thinking silently, suddenly a sense of loneliness welled up in my heart.
After school, I walked quietly on the road and didn't know how to get home. I stood in front of my mother unconsciously and finally cried, looking very sad. However, as usual, my mother didn't blame me, but said a few words of encouragement. I was deeply influenced by her behavior and made up my mind to study hard. From now on.
I told myself silently that I no longer surf the Internet or watch TV, just to study. Every time this happens, I always do. My mother's behavior made me grateful and made me afraid to do things outside school, so I became excellent.
My hard determination has changed again. This time, my mother and I had a big fight, only because I blamed her after she threw away my Hai Wa, so she said that I was not sensible, turned over old scores, raised that achievement, and said that she tolerated my feat. At that moment, I couldn't stand it. I never thought about the hypocrisy of adults. The adults are so worried that they seem to have been cheated. I hid in my bedroom, afraid to say a word, or maybe I was too lazy to say it.
That's how I know the hypocrisy of adults. That's how I feel lonely. That's how I feel empty. Maybe, I'm just too self-righteous, and everything is too confusing for me.
These things have happened for a long time, and maybe people who have experienced them have forgotten them, but I won't. At this moment, thinking of them slowly seems to be an excuse for adolescence. Perhaps, that inexplicable feeling is the reflection in invisibility. Everything that happened to me is what I need to reflect on, that's all, right?