There is a word in English called crush. If you look it up in the dictionary, it will tell you that it means "crush, crush, crush". Later, I learned that as a noun, it has another meaning: "short, passionate but shy love." For example, "I once had a crush on him" means "I once liked him briefly and passionately, but shyly".
The meaning of Crush is too long and subtle, and I have never found a suitable Chinese word to translate it. Heartbeat seems to be a recent translation, but compared with Unrequited Love, Heartbeat is weaker in emotional intensity, more lasting in time, and a little ambitious in love and marriage. Secret love is a flash in the pan, but it fascinates you.
I think Crush is a particularly practical word. It is particularly practical because I realize that most of the "love" in my life experience actually exists in the form of "unrequited love". If I count on my fingers, how many people have really "loved", I'm afraid it's just one ... two ... absolutely no more than three. But I think about how many people I have secretly loved. There are many. Alas, I am embarrassed to count them anyway.
When I saw this passage, I deliberately counted my secret love with my fingers. Well, I don't want to count to the end, but only one or two people really call it "love". What I want to overthrow now is that there are many such unrequited loves in my life, but no one really loved them.
People have different definitions of "love" at each stage, and many love quotations have become popular in recent years:
1, I love you has nothing to do with you!
2, love a person must have the epic spirit of loving the motherland and mountains and rivers!
If you can't put the moth to the fire, it's not love, which means you don't love enough!
4. To love someone is to meet beautiful scenery and want to share it with them. If you are in pain, you want to talk to them!
First of all, the letter from a strange woman is a typical story that I love you and has nothing to do with you. I like this movie very much, and Xu fully showed her talent in it. But no matter how beautiful the story is, we can't deny that it is a complete tragedy. A man will never remember the woman who loves him. Even the old housekeeper remembered when that woman was a little girl next door more than ten years ago, and no one was heartbroken. The love of the hostess is more like an obsession. This obsession is really beautiful and emotional in movies, but it is a pit in reality.
The second is what Kevin·Z said in To Youth. Loving someone is like loving the motherland and mountains and rivers. I can understand, because looking through my QQ space, that is, those logs written during my college days, it seems that epic love is being staged every day. It is precisely because of these verve that our life is not so boring. Our feelings must be sincere, but now it looks more like a hormone surge caused by a strong spiritual concern for a person.
The third one is a bit silly. Of course, everyone has been stupid. If you are not stupid, you are not called youth. But love has no self-esteem. Is this still love? I love you so much that I don't even consider my endurance. Is that still love? For example, I obviously have acrophobia, but in order to challenge the limit and prove myself, I have to go bungee jumping. Do I want to die?
Article 4 expresses partial agreement, because loving someone will definitely want to share the joy and pain in life with TA, but it is not necessarily love. Have you considered who you want to share your feelings with? do you want to hear it ? If TA doesn't have the subjective will to listen, you can't grow up from sharing and confiding with TA, and even bring negative energy to TA, and what TA feeds back must be unloved behavior and language, which is definitely not what you really want.
At this stage, I heard the best definition of "love": love is a willingness to constantly expand self-boundaries and achieve self-improvement in order to promote the mental maturity of oneself and others.
Another possibility is unrequited love, which pays attention to a person's spirit at a certain moment, but this kind of spiritual attention lasts so long that we mistake it for love.
However, spiritual care must be the premise of love. Never ignore the motivity of hormones. What two people who have no feeling of love can cultivate is friendship (personal opinion)! With spiritual care, you will have the real motivation of love, and you will be willing to spend time and energy to expand yourself and establish real feelings.
Being in love feels like unrequited love. It is not difficult to produce. Even if we have a partner, we may have a good impression on others, but that's just a good impression, not true love. True love is restraint, rationality, thinking from the perspective of others, and not bringing unnecessary confusion to yourself and others.
Knowing that those rushing emotions are just a momentary impulse has one of the greatest benefits for us: although our emotions are like elephants who often don't listen to our instructions, our consciousness can perceive that it is not true love and prevent us from giving ourselves psychological hints again. I won't treat simple unrequited love as true love and continue to instill ideas that don't exist. I can also jump out of the role of the victim and re-examine this relationship.