At the end of the year, all kinds of social and cultural activities that require me to participate suddenly crowded together, and I became "heavy"

In order to get up, a friend even exaggerates that he can almost discharge my recent schedule from the news in the newspaper.

Is that really the case? I just feel empty, empty.

Unexpectedly, in the endless phone call, an old voice came in. Wait for the other party to report.

After clearing my name, I stood up involuntarily with a microphone: that was my Chinese teacher Mu when I was in middle school thirty years ago.

Mr. Ni. He said on the phone that during the Spring Festival 30 years ago, my classmate Cao Qi and I drew a New Year greeting together.

Give him the film. The photo of the New Year card was lost at the beginning of the Cultural Revolution. The old man said, "Can you make a picture?"

Zhang gave it to me as the most precious treasure in my later years? "The old man's voice is sincere and a little trembling.

When I put down the phone, I immediately decided that this would be the most meaningful thing in my busy year-end activities.

When I sat at my desk, I saw the happy and miserable middle school life in the early 1960s. At that time, at

Strangely, there are many outstanding scholars hidden among the teachers. I remember when we were in the first grade of junior high school, our self-study class teacher was old.

The teacher turned out to be a famous scholar, Mr. Zheng. Now it is almost a sense of luxury. I went to high school and changed schools.

There are many scholars. My English teacher, Mr. Sun Jue, has dual attainments in English and China classical literature, even in

This is also rare among university teachers today. Mr. Mooney has seen the world, at least we were there.

I have read three or four books published when he was young in second-hand bookstores, and I don't know why I hid in middle school as a Chinese language.

Teacher Wen. I remember when he taught us Chinese, my composition won the grand prize in the city competition, which attracted foreign schools to teach.

All the teachers have come to our class. Mr. Mooney was excited, and the content of the course became more and more in-depth, and some special ones were selected.

Ask me a difficult question on the spot, and I can hardly answer it once. The situation is very embarrassing. I complain in my mind:

Mr. Mooney, you know there are many people in class. Why didn't you ask me such a difficult question in advance?

Later, I finally figured it out: this is a scholar, not clever at all.

Even a pair of immature eyes can roughly distinguish the brilliance of knowledge and personality. We were only fourteen or fifteen.

Well, I've been stupidly thinking about how to thank these teachers. According to the children's intuition, these teachers seem to be

Affected by more or less political ties, life is very unsatisfactory. In the winter vacation, I finally had an idea, and the whole class was the same.

Everyone agreed to visit all the teachers' homes on the first day of the Lunar New Year. At that time, middle school students could not afford New Year cards, so they had to.

Gather a few sheets of white paper and draw them yourself, and then send them to each family on foot in groups. Everyone agrees that you can't eat anything until you are old.

The teacher timidly knocked on the door, quickly took the native's New Year card, said a few words to him and left. Teacher, no

Small, sweaty, in the festival street, a group of young worshippers in a hurry.

Cao Qi and I draw New Year cards on behalf of the class. Cao Ji painted better than me at that time, so he painted more.

At one o'clock, I am in charge of writing. No matter what you draw or write, you can't surpass the level of middle school students over the age of/kloc-0. But,

It is that kind of childish scribbling that has been deeply engraved in the heart of an old man for 30 years.

Today, Cao Qi is a well-known painter and works in an art publishing house. I have seen calligraphy.

His works are printed in anthologies and even on calendars. There are also his exhibitions in the gallery. As soon as he heard Mr. Mooney's request,

Like me, I immediately stopped my work, chose a good rice paper and drew a New Year's Eve dinner respectfully.

Here, and then send it to my college quickly. I have polished the thick inkstone and filled something in the top of the picture.

From beginning to end, stamped and sent to fine mounting. Now, this scroll of calligraphy and painting has been sent to Mr. Mooney.

Teacher, please forgive us, we have forgotten the pen and ink 30 years ago and lost the unrepeatable purity.

I have to roll a roll of 30 years of ups and downs for you with two pairs of middle-aged hands.

In front of you, writing for you, all the names and titles on our heads are shaken off, leaving only two reds.

Sincere students. Only in this case can we transcend the hubbub and realize some kind of humanity that spans time and space.

Love.

With this affection, I am qualified to say to today's young friends as a middle school student 30 years ago:

Remember, you may have created some kind of eternity. Some things you do every day will end immediately.

Unfortunately, some of them have decades of weight.

Secondly,

As I mentioned earlier, when I was a middle school student 30 years ago, one of my compositions won an award. What else do you have about this little thing?

I want to say something.

About two years ago, a teacher in my middle school brought me a very strange letter. The recipient is me,

The address written on the envelope is the middle school and class 30 years ago. The teacher has retired and went to school to get his salary this day.

Occasionally I saw this letter in the mailroom. He didn't understand what was going on, and was driven by curiosity and worked hard.

I got my home address and delivered it myself.

When I opened the letter, I finally understood that it was written by a junior high school female student in a rural area in northern Hubei. Not long ago, they

The school issued a newly published "Selected Excellent Compositions" to students, which contained my composition 30 years ago and signed it.

My "serial number" at that time was printed before, so the middle school students misunderstood. She generously called me "classmate",

And it is suggested to exchange a composition with her every month, especially those that "the teacher doesn't like it but he likes it"

Composition.

The teacher who sent the letter smiled when he found out the reason, and then stared at me seriously. For a long time, he was very philosophical.

Rationally said: "In fact, today she is you in my memory;" Today, you are me. "Exactly.

Yes, this little girl from the countryside has distorted the years of living together, making my teacher and I dizzy.

Let's go With her immature brushstrokes, she neatly crossed the gap of time.

I racked my brains to answer her letter. I'm afraid she'll be embarrassed when she knows the truth. I'm willing to be in a kind of

Talking to her for a while with a long-lost carefree and innocent mind may turn into an adult to a child.

Playing tricks on her will eventually make her sad. After a long hesitation, I decided to tell her in a relaxed tone in my reply.

Writing, not to mention my profession, makes her feel that this correspondence is extremely normal and natural, but it is not between words.

By the way, that was my composition many years ago.

The child still seems to be afraid. She doesn't know how to deal with such an adult, so she can only ask her parents.

Help! My parents are middle school Chinese teachers and know me, so things are even more troublesome. I received her second letter.

The beginning of the letter turned out to be: "Dear Professor ..."

The whirlpool has stopped, and the ravine of time is still in sight.

It is conceivable that communication will become a bit difficult in the future. She really wants to know the way to the literary palace from me.

How to get to the trip to the Tang Dynasty is not easy to get up in tone. She suppressed her true self, and

Became an eager questioner. In addition to formality, the words in the letter also have a sense of carving, which must be

This was revised with the help of her parents.

There is less and less communication, but I often see myself 30 years ago. The teacher who sent this letter is right.

At that time, I was a bit like her, obsessed with literature and art, but as long as I extended this love a little, I would be moved.

Coming into an adult world, I look forward to the rapid passage of time every day.

I remember my award-winning composition was written on a small bench on a summer evening, as if

In order to cope with my summer homework, I ran out to play as soon as I finished it. Until one day I was surprised to see it.

Published in the newspaper, there is also a long macro-theory, from the examination of topics, selection of materials, detailed selection,

I praised them one by one, and I immediately got serious. At an extremely grand award ceremony,

I saw an extraordinary university teacher sitting on the podium. According to the chairman of the conference, he was the first to come to Shanghai this time.

The referee of the composition contest, I thought, probably wrote a comment after my composition. He spoke, in a voice.

Rich in color, knowledgeable and humorous, he made the idea of the article so clear in the laughter of the audience.

I was almost completely convinced by him. I followed him quietly after the meeting, and he was giving it to other adults.

Speaking of which, I really want to hear more, and then look at his walking posture, how to wave and how to spread his legs. Since then,

When I read and write, I often think of this university teacher and wonder how I would read if he were in front of me.

How to write, this guess is often unfounded, so I become very upset. Anyway, I don't know this at all.

My university teacher not only showed me a kind of height and grace, but also took away my relaxation and freedom.

I bid farewell to the juvenile mentality because of him.

I don't want to write to that middle school student in Hubei again, just for fear that my little words will make her lose.

Leave a lot of things that shouldn't have been lost earlier. For such a loss, the child will not feel anything, but

The older you get, the more painful you will feel. Life is like this. When you were young, you hated yourself. When you get old, you hate yourself.

Being old often leaves young and middle-aged people in a relatively calm state of alienation and judgment, thinking about people.

Strange, then comfort the young and comfort the old. I think that young people and middle-aged people are in the sense of life.

The charm lies in this two-way alienation and two-way comfort. Because of the two-way alienation, they become free and quiet; Yinshuang

In order to comfort them, they became kind and powerful. However, because of this, they sometimes feel annoyed and disappointed.

They still have the sadness of bidding farewell to naive years, and sooner or later they will have a premonition that their twilight years are coming. They are in people's lives.

The center of the whirlpool, looking around and thinking about it, can't help but be deeply touched.

A year ago, I met that university teacher again. I was a high school student in Shanghai.

The head of the Chinese subject group of the first-level professional title evaluation Committee, together with several other professors, has been reviewing the applications submitted by universities all day.

Information of professors and associate professors of Chinese. In the list of retired professors who want to evaluate their professional titles, I suddenly saw.

His name was given. According to the information, although he has been teaching in universities, he is mainly engaged in the research of Chinese teaching in middle schools.

Research and counseling, wrote a lot of things, the quality is not low, but according to the standards of Shanghai universities to be promoted to full professors,

The material is not too hard. He doesn't have a complete academic work, nor is he in a leading position in a certain field at home and abroad.

Not status.

Coincidentally, a few days later, I met him in an activity place. He introduced himself to me first, and he knew it.

I was commenting on my professional title the other day, but I just mentioned it casually and didn't ask me anything. I can still recognize him,

He is really old, heavy and full of white hair. He told me sincerely which books I had read.

Articles. I really want to tell him that he also read another article of mine, 30 years ago. But I finally held back,

I dare not confess to him. I used to be his most devout admirer. He once gave me a piece of advice that decided my life.

I am only 14 years old.

What am I afraid of? The complicated mood here may only be understood. If he is not the first person I want to go to society,

The judge of this article, and I didn't become the judge of his title until 30 years later. It will never be like this.

Awkward. I don't think this karma can add a little color to me, because I have always believed that life is not.

This is not a race between you and me, but more like a relay race in the wilderness. Who runs slowly, who?

Running faster may be due to the environment and climate. If I encounter as much wind, frost, rain and snow as he does,

Steep slope mire, the pace may be slower than him. He pointed me out, so his strength is at my feet, which

There is only one kind of mutual solubility in the universe, which is not surpassed or surpassed. But, all this, he can understand? If he

Yes, I can understand. Can he understand? I can't uncover these 30 years before these communications.

The folding of life before and after has even caused a faint embarrassment in the hearts of the elderly.

You see, middle-aged people go to so much trouble, just for an early composition, and I'm still trying.

How not to embarrass the little girl in Hubei, and then turn this problem to an old man. How many years later, when

I am an old man, will that little girl from Hubei come to comfort me like this? By then, can I feel it?

This comfort?

It's a piece of cake, but when you think about it, there are all kinds of tastes, and you can only sigh inexplicably and sigh about life.

Warm and desolate, lamenting the urgency and length of time.

A philosopher in the west said that only the old people who have experienced vicissitudes will understand the real philosophy of life. In the same sentence,

What comes from the old man's mouth is a hundred times thicker than what comes from the young man's mouth. I can't completely agree with this. Philosophy comes from two kinds.

On the contrary, it is in the middle of power, so middle age is more popular. All the truly outstanding philosophers of life in the world are

Middle age completed their ideological system. In old age, the magnetic field of life has been biased towards one pole and tends to single-phase middle age.

People may not always express the confusion of the intersection of the two forces in the appearance of philosophy, but most of them are in the magnetic field of philosophy.

Medium. I think I didn't know much about the secrets of life 30 years ago, but I lingered on the edge of life for another 30 years.

Hesitation, the edge is only the edge after all. Therefore, among other things, the most important thing about the body odor in life is

Now, people are in middle age. To this end, I wrote this sequel for the short story "The Weight of Thirty Years".