Not long ago, after landing in China after 30 years, countless people went to the cinema and returned "a ticket owed to Grandpa Gong".

As a top animation master, Miyazaki Hayao's warmth has cured the whole world. Only his son Goro Miyazaki was excluded. Like many children, Goro Miyazaki will be a child who grew up under the attack of his father. In an interview, Goro Miyazaki even commented that Miyazaki Hayao was a zero-score father.

Young Wu Lang inherited his parents' painting talent and dreamed of becoming a great animation director like his father.

Miyazaki Hayao thinks that the animation industry is very hard, and he doesn't want his son to engage in animation work. At the same time, he thinks that his son has no talent for animation and despises his son's works extremely.

He held his breath and took out his first work, The Battle between the Earth and the Sea. However, while watching the movie, Miyazaki Hayao left halfway and wrote a letter criticizing.

At the release conference of the second work "The Hills with Young Beauty in Bloom", Miyazaki Hayao criticized the film mercilessly at the scene, and Goro had to apologize publicly in an embarrassing atmosphere.

After the box office was good, Miyazaki Hayao still said, "At least give me some pressure."

Goro Miyazaki was so angry that he didn't say anything: "Shit, don't die too early for me!"

Goro Miyazaki is also stubborn, which means: You wait and I will prove it to you!

No one grew up overnight. Miyazaki Hayao himself painted countless failed works. His first animation was released at the age of 38, and the box office was a fiasco.

"Hal's Moving Castle" said: "Love is not to find a perfect person, but to learn to appreciate that imperfect person with perfect eyes."

True love is understanding, appreciation and encouragement.

Someone once asked Miyazaki Hayao: Why do you always scold children? His explanation is that it is better to be vicious than to let others criticize at random.

No! In the child's mind, even if the whole world doesn't recognize me, as long as you recognize me, the world will be complete and I will have the strength to forge ahead.

As Hal's Moving Castle said, "As long as you are sure, I am brave enough."

It's not education, let alone love.

2

How bitter are those children who have been asking their parents for praise all their lives?

20 17, sogou landed on NYSE. For CEO Wang Xiaochuan, his eighteen years of spring and autumn finally came to fruition.

At the milestone of life, the mother at the scene said, "Only 5 billion, look at Tencent Ali."

I don't know if there was anything broken in his heart at that moment.

Writer rabelais said: "The saddest thing between people is that what you think is worthy of goodwill and friendship has been disturbed and destroyed."

If this person is still his closest relative, this sadness should be doubled.

Wang Xiaochuan's resume, sparkling life of learning hegemony;

/kloc-won the gold medal in the international informatics Olympic competition at the age of 0/8.

Specially recruited to study computer in Tsinghua,

At the age of 27, he became the youngest vice president of Sohu.

32 years old, fully responsible for the strategy and operation management of sogou.

Sogou, a company with a history of 40 years, went public in the United States.

He said in an interview: "In my mother's eyes, she always thinks that other children will know this and that (in short, better than you)."

Some parents, who never see the goodness of their children, criticize and attack them blindly, tearing their children's desire for value in the name of love.

Children who grow up in negative energy fields have an insurmountable mental obstacle.

Jiang Wen seldom talked about the failure of life in the thirteen-invitation interview.

This man with sharp eyes, brilliant talent, numerous awards and dazzling aura on his head even said, "I am usually a very unconfident person."

Even if you have been promoted to be an excellent person, there is an emptiness in your heart, just like a kite flying in the sky, but you can't feel the thread. The higher you fly, the more unreliable you are.

He said: "I was admitted to Chinese opera, and she (mother) was unhappy." She doesn't want to live when I buy a house. Seeing what she has done, I don't know how to make her happy. Sometimes, I feel that life has no tricks, so I make a movie to make a fake life. I returned to reality and faced the same dilemma as a teenager. "

Success, like Jiang Wen, has won the praise of the whole world, but it is trapped in an unattainable desire.

His mother died the year before last. He said, "She never praised me in the end." .

He lost the opportunity forever, and the wounds in his heart will never heal.

three

Writer San Mao recorded the story of her and her father in the book Send You a Horse.

Her father has been very critical of her since she was a child and doesn't like her works.

1983, San Mao published for whom the morning sun rises in the United Daily News. After reading it, my father changed his normal state and left a note with the word 127 to express his gratitude. ?

San Mao read the note and wrote:

"You leave a letter, read it quickly, then read it slowly, and tears welled up in your eyes. Dad, at that moment, there was only one thought in my heart, and I was dying. "

The next sentence is even more heartfelt:

"I've been waiting for your words all my life, just waiting for you, my father, to say it himself, affirming my inferiority and guilt that I can't get rid of in this family all my life."

Father's approval is the "Tao" she has been pursuing all her life. At that moment, it was a sense of relief that "if she listened, she could die in the evening." It seems that the task of life has been completed, and she died without regret.

Bai Bangni asked, "How much sweetness does a person need to fill his heart?" ?

Ma Dong said: "Because it is too bitter, a little sweetness is enough."

Childhood has a profound influence on psychology. San Mao, who wavered between "fortitude and fragility" and "inferiority and conceit", finally committed suicide, which may also be related.

Children who are often beaten are not only bitter in heart, but also seek praise from their parents all their lives. At the same time, due to the extreme lack of sense of security and value, they live in inferiority all their lives, and always think that they are not good enough to own the world.

four

What can really make children grow up healthily is the inner strength of children. How to internalize parents' expectations into children's own strength? How to treat the shortcomings of children's growth?

The only way is understanding, encouragement and love.

a.

Grasp the degree of criticism?

Parents should establish a good relationship with their children. The book The Power of Others tells us that for a good connection, the ratio of praise and criticism is 6: 1, while for a bad connection, the ratio of praise and criticism is 1: 3, or even lower.

b.

Use positive language?

The book Positive Discipline says that parents should make good use of positive language to educate their children, avoid abuse and personal attacks, and use as few negative sentences as possible.

c.

The right thing, not the person?

Many parents always call their children "stupid" and "you are just not as good as a classmate". This kind of talk is either venting or finding fault, and it is not education at all.

Education is to find children's problems, analyze the reasons, and put forward constructive opinions and help.

d.

? Parents' mentality?

Living in the world, parents inevitably have a lot of pressure and emotions, and children often become punching bags inadvertently.

Children have shortcomings, not that they can't criticize, but that when criticizing children, parents' mentality is out of love or anger.

When you encounter a problem, first restrain yourself for two seconds, with an accepting heart, a tolerant attitude and a kind reminder.

Parents are the way for children, and they are the way for children to go home.

No matter how old their children are, no matter how dazzling fame and fortune they have gained in this world, the most precious thing in their hearts is only the appreciation and affirmation from their parents.