Because of her parents' frugality, Feifei hardly wore new clothes since she was a child, and only wore them after she went to college to earn her living expenses? Finally? Wearing new clothes. Feifei can understand if the family's economic situation does not allow it, but the actual situation is that Feifei is the only child in the family, and both parents have good jobs, so there is no need to save it.
Feifei sent me a message the other day saying that she was having trouble at home. As for the cause of the outbreak, it turned out that Feifei's mother asked her daughter to take home clothes and shoes that her roommate didn't want.
First, parents' excessive savings can easily cause three kinds of harm.
1, lack of inner security
One of the most likely negative effects of parents' excessive savings on their children is the serious lack of money in their hearts. Although such children value money more, their parents' attitude and behavior of excessive savings will still lead to their inner insecurity.
Some children rarely receive money from their parents, and the lack of material will be attributed to their parents not loving themselves enough, so there is always a sense of security in their hearts. Moreover, this sense of security will last until the child reaches adulthood. Even if he has independent financial ability, he will always worry that his life will collapse because of money.
The concept of money is narrow.
There is a vocabulary of mirror theory in psychology, which holds that children's learning and imitation ability is extremely strong, and parents' behavior will also be mapped to children. Among them, children's attitude towards money will also become narrow because of their parents' excessive savings.
Being stingy and saving are completely two concepts, and a narrow view of money will never play a positive role in children's future growth.
3. Psychological inferiority complex
Some parents just open their mouths and shut up? Poor? Words, but it played a role in saving imitation with Grandet as the core. Children who grow up in such a family atmosphere may also form a very negative inferiority complex in the future.
This kind of inferiority is not necessarily because children feel poor at home, but because they are ashamed of their parents' behavior after recognizing the family reality. Of course, it may also be a negative psychology produced by children hitting a wall in reality.
Second, thrift is ok, but please refer to the following three principles.
1, life can be frugal, education can't.
Children's education needs to invest a lot of time and money, and it is no problem to be frugal in life. The important thing is that their lifestyle is simpler.
However, if we are still frugal in children's education, we should not. Education pays attention to no pains, no gains, but the cultivation of education needs the support of money and time.
2. Thrift is just an attitude towards life.
We have known since childhood that frugality is one of the traditional virtues of our Chinese nation. The frugality here is not because of poverty, but because of our attitude towards life.
Thrift here is a positive positive energy and a positive psychological effect on children, while the opposite meanness will naturally not play the same role.
3. Don't force children.
Everything has one? Degree? Thrift is also measured. For example, some elderly people have several properties at home and a lot of pensions every month, but they still go out to pick up garbage every day regardless of their children's opposition.
Some people are too frugal and then ask their children to be like themselves, but the children are also independent individuals. If children's lives are not extravagant and wasteful, parents should not interfere too much.
Thrift is a virtue and an attitude towards life, but it should not be a shackle to control children, and parents should pay more attention to it.