Running a family, the bigger the pattern of mother-in-law, the more she knows how to master the appropriate limits, which also plays a great role in the marriage of sons and daughters-in-law. Nowadays, many parents always urge their sons to get married quickly, but after having a daughter-in-law, the mother-in-law began to urge children again.
A mother-in-law who has no sense of boundaries will only make a mess of the family and cannot bring real harmony. There are also some elders who treat their daughters-in-law with "double standards". For example, when a daughter-in-law gives birth to a child, they feel that they have no obligation to take care of her and there is no need to help with the child.
However, they selfishly ask their daughter-in-law to have the obligation to provide for the aged. Finally, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will only become more and more rigid, and some young couples can only end up in divorce. On the contrary, those mothers-in-law with large patterns have the opposite attitude in dealing with problems. They will not only respect their daughter-in-law, but also care about each other, and their families will be happier every day.
Aunt Qiu is a sober elder. Her three views have always been correct. She has two children, her daughter is married, and her son started his own family last year. In the education of children, Aunt Qiu has never preferred boys to girls, and she will not take care of children in a loving way.
Aunt Qiu and her wife both have jobs. His wife is a very gentle person. Although the marriage was arranged by parents, Aunt Qiu felt lucky to meet a husband who knew how to respect his partner. Her married life is quite happy.
When we get along, we will also quarrel with our wives, but we will never leave the problem until the next day. They are willing to communicate and cooperate with each other in educating their children.
Aunt Qiu's personality is very heroic, and she gets along directly with people without any scheming. But she won't pay too much. Some parents, always thinking of their children, don't know to leave a way out for themselves.
Her son is getting married and needs to buy a wedding room. His wife intended to give all her pension savings to her son, but Aunt Qiu stopped her. She doesn't want to be an unprincipled parent. If her son is going to get married, he must know how to bear the pressure. Aunt Qiu is more about letting him learn to find his own way. In the end, Aunt Qiu only gave her son 6,543,800 yuan as a bride price, and they were not obliged to take charge of the wedding room.
If Aunt Qiu, like his wife, does her best for her son, and they are 50 years old, they have to buy a wedding room for their son, and hundreds of thousands of pressures are on them, then the days after that are doomed to be difficult.
Many elders and sons, after marrying their daughters-in-law, very much hope to live with them. Especially the controlling mother-in-law, who is used to taking care of her son, doesn't trust her son to live alone with his daughter-in-law. She always thinks that young people can't go on without the care of their parents.
However, Aunt Qiu's ideas are very independent and the pattern is very wide. Aunt Qiu just wants to live with her wife and doesn't want to move in with her daughter-in-law.
First of all, she badly needs independent space. Aunt Qiu knows very well that if she lives with her daughter-in-law every day, conflicts will inevitably arise after a long time. It is better to keep a safe distance from each other and live a life of mutual respect, so that the family can be harmonious.
But after they got married for two years, the daughter-in-law had a child. During pregnancy, Aunt Qiu occasionally went to take care of her at home. When she was confined, she also specially arranged time to take care of her daughter-in-law. But later, my daughter-in-law asked Aunt Qiu to help her continue to take care of the children.
Aunt Qiu has no prejudice against her daughter-in-law. When my own daughter gave birth to a child, she once asked Aunt Qiu for help, but Aunt Qiu refused. Although she is a mother, she is also an independent individual with her own living habits. When children grow up, it seems to Aunt Qiu that some busy people can't help them all.
Especially when taking care of children for daughter-in-law, the grandson is not alone with his daughter-in-law. It's not that she doesn't want to help her daughter-in-law, but that Aunt Qiu has many elders around to help their children with their children. Their love is simply thankless. The mother-in-law's hard work with her children not only won't be thanked and recognized by her daughter-in-law, but will even be rejected, so she refused.
What aunt Qiu can't afford to do. After she refused to help her daughter-in-law with the children, her daughter-in-law was very unhappy. At that time, my daughter-in-law quarreled with Aunt Qiu. My daughter-in-law said, "If you don't take care of my children now, I won't give you a pension in the future."
Some elders, with double standards, refuse to help their daughter-in-law take care of their children, but strongly demand that their daughter-in-law should serve them in the future. But Aunt Qiu is different. She calmly said to her daughter-in-law, "OK, I agree. I don't take care of your children for the sake of family harmony. I need someone to take care of me in the future. I appreciate it if you have this heart, but if you don't want to take care of me, I won't be forced. "
Aunt Qiu said that her daughter-in-law didn't know how to react in an instant. She also knows that her mother-in-law's statement is reasonable. As mother-in-law, they really have no obligation to help their children with their children unconditionally.
Later, the daughter-in-law found a nanny herself and didn't ask Aunt Qiu for help. Although Aunt Qiu resolutely refused her daughter-in-law's request at that time, she did not treat her badly. She also loves her grandson. Aunt Qiu buys a lot of things to go to her son's house as long as she has time.
Aunt Qiu will regularly buy clothes and shoes for her grandson, and also prepare some ingredients that are good for her daughter-in-law's health and cook a delicious meal for her. She didn't promise to help her daughter-in-law take care of the children. They don't need to live together every day, but they have a better relationship.
I have to say that Aunt Qiu has a large pattern and is sober in running a family. With a daughter-in-law, Aunt Qiu also knows how to handle appropriate limits and refuse when it is time to refuse.
There are many old people now, and life is very difficult. Because most young girls are only children, their parents like them very much. After marriage, some daughters-in-law are too arrogant and demanding of their in-laws. They always think that their mother-in-law should help them with their children.
Some parents dare not refuse, because they are afraid that if they refuse, their daughter-in-law will definitely hate them. Then, when they need someone to serve them in the future, life will be very bleak. But Aunt Qiu never imagined that her son and daughter-in-law would support the elderly. Her old age depended on her own happiness.
Aunt Qiu pays great attention to her health and knows how to leave a way out for herself. Now they all have pensions and houses to live in. The most important thing now is to take good care of their health and let them live a happier life in their later years.