Why not learn the skills of the world's greatest friend? Who is he? In fact, when you walk in the street every day, you may meet him. When you get close to it 10 feet, it will start wagging its tail. Stay for a while, touch him, pat him, and his heart will jump out to let you know how much he likes you. And you know there is no hidden motive behind his enthusiasm: he will neither plot your wealth nor expect to marry you.

I wonder if you have thought about this question: dogs are the only animals that don't have to work for three meals. Hens must lay eggs; Cows must produce milk; Parrots must sing. But as long as the dog gives you love, it will have three meals.

Dogs have never read books on psychology, and there is no need to read them. It intuitively knows that as long as a person is sincere to others, he will get more friends in two months than a person who hopes others will be interested in him in two years.

In order to attract readers' attention, I repeat: as long as you are sincere to others, you will get more friends in two months than someone who hopes others will be interested in him in two years.

Many people spend their lives trying to make others interested in them. Of course, what they did was wrong. People are not interested in strangers. They are only interested in themselves-no matter what time of day.

A telephone company in new york conducted a survey of telephone conversations, trying to find out which word was mentioned the most frequently. As you may have guessed, this word is the first person "I". In 500 telephone conversations, the word was used 3950 times.

When I see a photo with you, I must look for myself first.

If we always show ourselves in front of others and force others to be interested in us, we will never have truly sincere friends. True friends can't be obtained in this way.

Napoleon and Josephine used this method when they met for the last time, but he said, "Josephine, I am the luckiest person in the world;" However, at this moment, you are the only person I can rely on in this world. "

Historians believe that he didn't really rely on her.

Yafo Yadler, a famous psychologist in Vienna who died, wrote a book called Your Life Consciousness. He wrote in this book: "A person who is not interested in others has the most difficulties in his life and the greatest harm to others. All human failures are due to such people. "

You may have read many books about psychology, but you haven't found a more meaningful sentence. I don't like to repeat it, but this sentence by Yadler is so meaningful.

The editor-in-chief of currier magazine once said that he picked up dozens of novels sent to his desk every day, and after reading a few paragraphs, he could feel whether the author was caring or not.

"If the author doesn't like others," he said, "others won't like his novels."

The emotional editor stopped several times to apologize for his lecture on novel writing. "What I'm telling you now," he said, "is actually the same as what the priest told you. What you need to remember is that if you want to be a successful novelist, you must be interested in others. "

If writing a novel is like this, it is even more so for others.

Magic master Luxurious Jeston is recognized as a magician among magicians.

Over the past 40 years, he has traveled all over the world, creating illusions again and again, confusing the audience and fascinating everyone. 60 million people bought tickets to see his performance, and he almost earned 2 million dollars.

What is the secret of Jeston's success? His success has nothing to do with school education, because he ran away from home when he was very young and became a tramp. He rode in the overlord's car, slept in the valley and begged along the street. When he sat in the car and looked at the signs along the railway, he began to read.

Is his knowledge of magic particularly profound? That's not true.

Mr. Jeston said that there are hundreds of books about magic, and many people know as much as him. But he has two things that others don't have: he can show his personality on the stage. He is a master performer. He understands human nature, his movements, every gesture, every tone, and every eyebrow-raising movement are carefully rehearsed in advance, and every minute of action is very coordinated.

Besides, Jeston is genuinely interested in others. He said that many magicians have such psychological activities when facing the audience: "Well, those people sitting at the bottom are a group of fools, and I can fool them around."

But Jeston's way is completely different. He said that every time he stepped onto the stage, he would say to himself, "I am very grateful, because these people came to see me perform, and they enabled me to live a very comfortable life." I will dedicate my best skills to them. "

Every time he goes on stage, he says to himself: "I love my audience, I love my audience." Maybe you think it's funny, maybe you think it's funny. I just tell you the secret recipe adopted by one of the most famous magicians in history, without comment.

Mrs Schumann Hainke once said with great emotion that even though she was hungry and heartbroken, even though her life was full of so many tragedies, she almost killed herself and her baby once-even though there were so many misfortunes, she kept singing and finally became the most outstanding Wagner singer ever. Frankly speaking, one of the secrets of her success is her infinite interest in others.

George Dyke of North Warren, Pennsylvania, was forced to retire because of a highway. Soon, the boring days of retirement made him feel lonely, and he began to play his old violin to kill time. Then, he went to concerts all over the world and met some skilled violinists. With an open-minded and kind attitude, he took a keen interest in every violinist he met and his background. As an unknown music lover, I made many friends.

Before long, he began to take part in various competitions. Soon, country music fans in the eastern United States knew "Uncle George"-a violinist in Kinsua County. When we heard uncle George's name, he was 72 years old and still enjoyed every minute of his life. Because of his persistent interest in others, he created a new life for himself when everyone thought his time was over.

This is one of theodore roosevelt's popular secrets, and even his servants like him. His black footman, James Amos, wrote a book about him, named theodore roosevelt, who was a hero in his servant's eyes. In that book, Amos tells such a thought-provoking story:

"On one occasion, my wife asked the President about a quail bird. She had never seen quail, so he gave her a detailed description. Before long, the telephone in our cabin rang. Amos and his wife live in a small house in Roosevelt's house in Oyster Bay. My wife picked up the phone and it turned out to be the president himself. He said that he called her and told her that there happened to be a quail bird outside the window. If she looked out, she might see it. He often does such small things. Every time he passes our hut, even if he can't see us, we will hear him whisper,' Annie!' James. This is a friendly greeting when he passed by. "

How can a servant like him not like his master? How can people not like him?

One day, Roosevelt visited the White House, and it happened that President Taft and his wife were not there. His sincere love for humble people is all shown, because he greets all the old White House servants and calls them by their names, even his little sister in the kitchen.

"When he saw Obasan Alice in the kitchen," archibald wrote, "he asked her if she was still baking corn bread. Alice replied that she sometimes bakes some for the servants, but no one eats them upstairs.

"'Their taste is terrible,' Roosevelt said somewhat unfairly. When I meet the president, I will tell him so. "

"Alice brought him a piece of corn bread. He went to the office, ate it and greeted the gardeners and workers passing by ..."

"He treats everyone as he used to. They were still whispering to each other about it, and Ekkhufu said with tears in his eyes: This is the only happy day we have had in two years, and none of us want to exchange it for a hundred-dollar bill. "

There's one more thing. A seemingly insignificant person helped Edward Keyes, the sales representative of Qiang Sen Company in New Jersey, get an agent again. "Many years ago," he recalled, "in Massachusetts, I visited a customer for Qiang Sen Company. This dealer is a grocer who sells medicines. Every time I go to the store, I always talk to the clerk who sells cold drinks for a few minutes first, and then talk to the owner about the order. One day, I was about to talk to a shopkeeper, but he told me to ignore him. He doesn't want to buy Qiang Sen's products any more, because he thinks that Qiang Sen's activities focus on food and discount stores, which is not good for their small grocery store. I ran away with my tail between my legs and wandered around the city for hours. Later, I decided to go back and at least explain our position to him. "

"When I went back, I greeted the clerk who sold cold drinks as usual. When I walked up to the shopkeeper, he smiled at me and welcomed me in. After that, he gave me twice the usual order. I looked at him in surprise and asked him what had happened in the few hours I had just left. He pointed to the young man next to the cold drink machine and said, after I left, the young man said,' Few salespeople come to the store like this and don't bother to say hello to him and others.' He told the shopkeeper that if anyone was worth doing business with, it was me. He thought it was right, so he continued to be my client. I will never forget that sincere interest in others will be the most important quality of a salesman-it is the same for anyone, at least in this case. "

If a person is genuinely interested in others, he can get the kind cooperation of even extremely busy people.

A few years ago, students studying novel writing in Brocklein College of Humanities hoped to invite famous and busy writers such as Catherine Norris, Fanny Horst, Ida Tabell, Yabo Huth and Rupert Hughes to Brocklein to teach students their writing experience. Therefore, the students wrote to them, saying that they appreciated their works very much and deeply hoped to get their guidance and know the secret of their success.

Each letter is signed by about 150 students. The students wrote in the letter: "We know that you are busy and may not have time to prepare your speech, so we attach a series of questions about yourself and your writing methods for you to answer." These people like what the students do. Who wouldn't like it? So they rushed from home to Brocklein to help the students.

Similarly, Carnegie invited theodore roosevelt's finance minister, Lee Slishaw, President Taft's chief prosecutor, George Wickell Hill, William Byron, franklin roosevelt and many other important figures to give lectures to the trainees.

If we really want to make friends, we should do something for others-something that takes time, energy, sincerity and thinking. When the Duke of Windsor was the Prince of Wales, he arranged a trip to South America. Before leaving, he spent several months learning Spanish in order to give a speech in the local language.

If we want to make friends, we should greet others with joy and enthusiasm. When someone calls you, show enough enthusiasm and happiness with the same psychology-voice. New york Telephone Company has set up a course to train their operators to say "What number do you want to dial" in the tone of "Good morning, glad to help you". Don't ignore this when we answer the phone tomorrow.

Showing your interest in others can not only make you many friends, but also enhance the trust of your company in the hearts of customers. In new york, a publication published by a North American national bank published a letter from a depositor, Madeleine Rothdale.

"I sincerely thank the staff of your bank. Every one of them is so polite and enthusiastic. There was a long queue and it was really pleasant to have a cordial greeting from the staff. "

"My mother spent five months in the hospital last year. Mayi Patricia, an employee of your bank, is very concerned about my mother's condition and has asked her about her health many times. "

There is no doubt whether Rosalie will continue to deal with this bank.

Charles Walter, an employee of a big bank in new york, was ordered to write a confidential report about a company. He knows someone who has information he really needs. So, Mr. Walter went to see the man, who is the chairman of a big industrial company. When Mr Walter walked into the chairman's office, a young woman told him that she didn't have any stamps for him today.

"My 12-year-old son is a stamp collector," the chairman explained to Walter.

Mr Walter explained his purpose and began to ask questions. The chairman was evasive and didn't want to say what he thought. Walter tried his best to get the expected result. The meeting was short and ineffective.

"Frankly speaking, I didn't know what to do at that time," Walter said. "Then, I remembered what his secretary said to him-stamps, my 12-year-old son ... I still remember that the foreign department of our bank collects stamps-stamps extracted from letters from all over the world.

"The next morning, I took some rare stamps and went to see him again. I sent a message. I have some stamps for his children. Was I brought in with enthusiasm? Yes, even if he wanted to run for congress, shaking hands with me could not be so enthusiastic. With a smile on his face, he said very politely, "My George will like this and this! This is priceless. "

"We spent a lot of time talking about stamps and looking at his son's photos, and then he spent more than an hour telling me all the information I wanted to know-I didn't even suggest him to do that. Not only that, he called his subordinates in, asked them some questions, then called some of his colleagues and told me all the facts, figures, reports and letters. In the words of a reporter, I have gained a lot. "

Look at another example:

Jack Feral of Fiya has been trying to sell his coal to a large chain company. But this chain company has been buying coal from another town, passing by Jack's office every day, but it doesn't go in. One day, Mr. Jack gave a speech at Carnegie training class, saying that chain companies are the cancer of America.

The teacher in the training class advised him to adopt different skills. The method we adopt is to debate in groups in the class. The topic is "Chain companies are everywhere, which does more harm than good to the country."

We suggest that Jack stand on the opposite side. He promised to defend the chain store, so he went to the chain store he hated to meet a senior employee. He said he didn't come to sell coal, but to ask him for help. Then he told him about the debate and said, "Because I can't think of anyone who can provide the information I need better than you. I really want to win this debate; I will thank you for any help. "

Later, Mr. Jack's story ended in comedy. "I began to ask him to give me a minute. It was because of this condition that he agreed to meet me. I explained my purpose, he asked me to sit down, and we chatted unconsciously 1 hour 47 minutes. After that, he called a senior staff member who had written a book about chain stores to talk about it. Finally, he wrote to the National Association of Chain Organizations and asked for a debate document on this matter. He feels that chain stores really serve mankind, and he is proud of his career. His eyes sparkled when he spoke. I must admit, he showed me things I never dreamed of before, and he changed my whole mind. After the conversation, he walked me to the door, put his arm around my shoulder, wished me success in the debate, and let me tell him the result of the debate.

Finally, he said to me, "Please come to me again in late spring. I want to start buying your coal next year. "

"I didn't know that he offered to buy my coal without saying a word. In two hours, I was deeply interested in him and his problems. My harvest was much more than 10 years, which made him interested in me and my coal. "

Mr. Jack didn't find another new fact. A long time ago, before the birth of Jesus 100, a famous Roman poet Silas once said, "We are interested in others, and it is the time when others begin to be interested in us."

To express your concern, you must have sincere feelings like anything else, which not only makes the people concerned achieve some results, but also makes the people who accept this concern achieve some results. This is a panacea, which is good for those who care and those who receive care.

Martin Ginsburg of Long Island, new york once mentioned that a nurse's concern for him deeply influenced his life:

"It was Thanksgiving, and I was only 10 years old. Because of the social welfare system, I live in a municipal hospital and I am scheduled to have a major operation tomorrow. I know there will be some restrictions and pains in the next few months. My father has passed away, and my mother and I live in a small apartment and live on social welfare. My mother just couldn't come to see me that day. " That day, I was completely overwhelmed by feelings of loneliness, disappointment and fear. I know my mother is worried about me at home. She is alone. There is no one to accompany her to dinner, and she can't even afford a Thanksgiving dinner. "

"Tears in my eyes. I buried my head under the pillow and sobbed to myself, but I trembled with pain all over. "

"A young nursing student came over when he heard my crying. She took the pillow from my head and wiped away my tears. She told me that she was lonely because she had to work on this day and could not be with her family. She asked me if I would like to have dinner with her. She brought two dishes: sliced turkey, mashed potatoes, strawberry jam and ice cream for dessert. She chatted with me, trying to allay my fears. Although she was supposed to get off work at 4 o'clock, she stayed with me until nearly 1 1. She always played with me and chatted with me until I fell asleep. "

"I spent many Thanksgiving days before 10, but this Thanksgiving will never disappear. I still remember the feeling of depression, fear and loneliness. Suddenly, the warmth of a stranger made those things disappear. "

If you want others to like you, or cultivate true friendship, or help others and yourself, show sincere concern for others.