Under such circumstances, many people have considered ways to make children suffer. That is to say, under better conditions, create opportunities for children to suffer, so that they can experience the hardships of their parents in the process of suffering, and thus become better. But is this really the right way? Is it really as simple as we thought to educate children by so-called hardship?
A few days ago, a treasure mother in the treasure mother group said that the child had been playing games since he came back. One day, my husband came back and grabbed a straight face, and then he was angry with the child.
In the end, the more I think about it, the worse I feel, and I will take my children out to experience the bitter days. I didn't expect the husband to take the children to the road, chat with the cleaning aunt, and even ask the children to help.
I also took my children to the railway station to see that some people carry a lot of luggage on hot days, so that children can realize how happy their lives are. But after coming back, the child suffered from heatstroke and even vomited and diarrhea for several days.
In fact, as can be seen from the above events, many parents always want to let their children know the pain of others in this way, and then compare their current lives so that their children can form a positive force.
In fact, we should also know that the so-called suffering is not a master key, it may even have a certain impact on the child's body, it can not solve any problems.
Especially for parents, understanding the so-called suffering is always one-sided, so in this case, the child may follow you to feel a so-called broken environment, but in the process, his body and mind have suffered irreparable pain.
Point 1, in children's health.
Imagine that if a child enjoys a superior environment from the beginning, his fragile body may not adapt to it until his parents suddenly have a whim and want him to experience the so-called bitter life.
There have been related news reports before. A parent wanted to exercise his child's endurance, so he took his child hiking in the desert. We were all shocked to hear such words.
It is difficult for adults to stand on their feet in such an environment, let alone have children. Finally, the child did have vomiting, diarrhea, heatstroke and other problems, which made parents feel very sad. In fact, even if you want your child to suffer, you should also consider your child's physical condition.
Second, psychologically speaking.
In the process of children's growth, they actually spend the most time with their parents. When parents give him a superior environment, children have made their parents the most trustworthy existence.
However, if you suddenly give your child the experience of bitter environment, it will directly break their psychological balance, and even think that parents don't want themselves from the bottom of their hearts. Because in their view, this so-called suffering is caused by parents, and they don't understand why parents should let themselves suffer.
Especially in the hot weather these two days, some parents let their children do heavy work in hot weather, which is called experiencing the work of farmers' uncles and bottom service personnel. In fact, when children suffer from heatstroke, they think most of their parents, and parents just show indifference at this time.
Third, from the perspective of parent-child relationship.
You know, in this process, children actually have some control over the existence of their parents. They may think that when they can't stand it anymore, their parents will stop this so-called bitter education.
But for parents, it is necessary to let their children pass this level, so cold treatment is possible. In this process, it directly destroys the child's sense of security, and he will think that his parents don't love him.
If parents often carry out this bitter education, it may cause greater psychological harm to children and intensify the contradiction between parents and children. If the child is physically ill, his heart will be hurt more, and this impression will be more profound. It is possible to deepen this sense of pain in later life, so that he does not trust his parents or even chooses to run away from home.
So in fact, we should be clear that the so-called bitter education is not what everyone understands. Although the ancients said this: Eat bitter, and you will become a master? However, for the current information age and current environment, physical hardship can not have a greater impact on children.
If parents don't know how to grasp this degree, it is likely to cause children's inner frustration. For example, parents want to make their children stronger and let them climb the mountain alone. In fact, this process is a kind of torture for children. The next time he comes into contact with this environment, he will feel more panic than the strong self-confidence of his parents.
Most importantly, some parents always associate so-called suffering with child abuse. They believe that only by letting children suffer more physical injuries can they appreciate the power brought by this so-called suffering. In fact, the so-called hardship education is only a one-sided understanding, and it has not tortured him psychologically and physically.
Instead, let the children be prepared for danger in times of peace and understand that what parents have now is hard-won, and what they have is also earned by their parents. In our daily life, we should not be too extravagant and wasteful.
As long as children know this, they will know more about their parents' thoughts and become better.
So in this process, how should parents educate their children? What should we pay attention to in carrying out hard education?
Point 1: Don't treat corporal punishment as pain.
I believe everyone knows that in some other foreign countries in the United States, children have completely divorced their parents after they reach the age of 18.
They will not give their children more conditions and financial support like parents in our country, because they think that children must be responsible for their own environment and future life when they grow up.
But many parents always want to do everything for their children. Under such circumstances, we have to choose some extreme ways to let the child experience hardships, so that he will not be extravagant as an adult.
In any case, we must be clear that the so-called suffering is not corporal punishment, which is similar to letting children walk in the desert or let them swim in winter, or let them expose themselves to the sun in summer. This is called corporal punishment.
Second, parents should understand what they are doing to make their children suffer.
In fact, most parents will see the problems existing in their children now, such as shirking responsibility when encountering things, or retreating when encountering difficulties. In the face of any suffering, they will always show their vulnerability and may become blx. Therefore, parents want to use the so-called hardship education to make their children better.
But in fact, we all know the influence of parents on children, so if possible, it is best to really influence children by setting an example for parents. Parents give birth to their children's first teacher, so the key stage of children's character formation is actually the education of parents.
If parents can show hard work in their daily lives, children believe that the same is true, and they will not be too delicate. Sometimes reasoning is not the quickest way, and setting an example is what children will imitate accordingly.
Third, not loving children is the best choice for pain.
Many parents have a misunderstanding about suffering. They always think that the so-called bitterness is to do things that they can't challenge. In fact, in daily life, slowly doing something within your power will also make children feel bitter.
But now some parents always spoil their children, help them arrange everything, and never need their children to worry about it. He also leads a carefree life.
In such an environment, children will inevitably form a character and feelings that cannot bear hardships. If the child is born, parents ask him to do something within his power at different stages.
For example, cleaning the table and so on, he will experience the hard work of his parents in these housework, which is also a kind of hardship education.
Later, when he was older and did more and more things, he could deepen this impression. Therefore, if children are willing to help their parents do something, don't refuse directly.