Because they or ourselves were once a little boy.
Many things, no matter the length of time, are hard to give up.
You can always find marks on children.
Speaking of our parents, in the sixties and seventies, their love was deep, implicit and unobtrusive, and they never talked about love.
I remember playing at my uncle's house when I was a child, but my uncle always kept a straight face every day.
A group of our children had a good time. As soon as he came back, the room immediately quieted down.
When my aunt sees it, she always gives us something delicious to ease the atmosphere.
My cousin said that he had never felt his father's love.
We have never seen my uncle hug my aunt, let alone heard him say a sweet word to anyone.
But he has been supporting this family in obscurity.
Now his wife is often ill, and he always takes care of herself, asks for help, takes medicine and asks for a doctor.
My son lost money in business because his father helped him, so he has room for manoeuvre.
Many people say. Men in China always look at you where you can't see, and love you where you can't feel.
I'm afraid you won't shed a tear in front of you when you see his weakness.
It always looks indestructible, keeps people away, and is very arrogant.
Facing these old people, I really can only love them in another way.
But looking at myself, there is no shadow of my parents.
Take me for example, I still feel a little embarrassed when I say "I love you" to my wife.
For children's education, there are often some ideas of the older generation.
My son sometimes sticks to me, but it makes me uncomfortable. Occasionally he would say, "A boy is like a girl. Go away quickly. " Fortunately, he always hugs me tighter.
Why is this happening? I think it's because no one hugged me and said "I love you" when I was a child.
So I showed my son the picture book My Dad, and the last hug became a channel for my son and me to open our hearts to each other.
Love needs vocal music practice and temperature education.
Our education gives boys too much self-discipline.
For example, many parents will take pains to tell their children: Don't cry, be a brave little man.
A mother said that once my son accidentally touched his head and cried in pain, so I comforted him. The man was injured, but he was fine.
He asked, "Can't people cry when they are injured?" I was very surprised.
This is a problem that many parents will encounter.
I remember my son asked such a question, so I told him, "Nothing, cry if you want."
Really, I always allow children to cry. When I hear that disturbing cry, I must tell myself, "Calm down and let him cry for a while."
Because when a child wants to cry, but is sensible enough not to cry, it will make people feel worried and distressed.
In the program of Chinese Poetry Conference, a little boy left a deep impression on me.
Feng Ziyi, an 8-year-old boy, is a fourth-grade pupil from Shanghai. He has an excellent memory and skipped classes for two years in a row.
His favorite ancient poem is Su Shi's When is the Bright Moon? Because his parents work in Beijing all the year round, he can only live in Shanghai with his grandparents. Zi used this poem to express his thoughts about his parents since he was a child.
But he said that he had been afraid to say it, because he was afraid that his mother would cry, but he gave her a "wandering son."
What a sensible child! It really hurts.
In the answer, he easily answered two questions correctly, but racked his brains and didn't remember the third question.
At that time, the little guy was a little sad and bowed his head and wept.
But he said he cried because he hadn't blinked for too long.
He wants to "be a very brave little boy".
I understand children's hearts very well.
Parents are not at home and are taken care of by elderly grandparents.
The family placed great expectations on the children, and the children accepted it rationally and worked harder.
However, it is really thought-provoking that he is still so sensible at this age.
I hope he just controls his emotions on the show and can cry if he wants to.
I want mom to say it out loud. Even on the phone, vent your feelings.
Because people's emotions have nowhere to hide, they always try to consume them.
Negative emotions are not what you say, but are still there, lurking in your heart.
Accumulate over time and become a heavy burden on the spirit.
There is too much information now, and children are getting more information than ever before.
So I learned a lot when I was very young.
It is not necessarily a good thing to be sensible too early, because you bear the pressure that does not match your age too early.
If a child can't even express his feelings, what good things in life are worth loving?
Children always imitate their parents and learn how to express their love through their parents' behavior.
For example, when you say something happy to your wife to make her laugh, or you hold her hand and carry her on your back.
Children will think that these are all expressions of love.
When parents quarrel about one thing, children will also be affected.
I remember once, my wife and I quarreled loudly about one thing. Because it's my problem, I said less.
But my wife was very angry and kept chanting about me loudly.
That night, before going to bed, my son said to his mother, "Mom, don't talk too loudly in the future."
When my wife told me this, I took my son's hand and said, "What happened today was my father's fault, so my father apologized, but my mother was wrong to be too loud." We should correct it together and not lose our temper with others, ok? "
My son didn't speak, but I knew he was listening.
My wife and I smiled at each other and thought it was really not easy to raise children. We must be ourselves first.
Because if the father scolds his wife or even beats his wife, the boy will like to express his dissatisfaction violently, will not respect the girl, and will do the same to his wife in the future.
And if you can talk well and control your emotions, children will learn to control them.
Of course, stay-at-home mom is too strong and dad is too weak to have any status. Such a family also has a great influence on boys.
Because children always form a sense of identity with same-sex parents, for example, when a boy is young, he wants to catch up with or even surpass his father. If the father has been suppressed by the mother, it will often make the child weak and inferior.
Even if you love children again.
It can't replace a child's life.
We can't give children treasures, but we can give them a warm environment to grow up in.
Let their psychology be healthier and more sunny.
And this is a matter that will accompany the child's life and affect generation after generation.
Being a father is the greatest thing in my life.
Because I found the happiness I had longed for from here.
And I can do my best to grow up with my children. It's really interesting.
More importantly, when I hold a child's hand or hug this little life.
I feel warm.
Only with the education of temperature can we raise a boy with temperature, a boy with temperature in his heart, and then he can love better.