Many children choose to hide their mistakes or shirk their responsibilities for fear of being criticized and punished by their parents when they make mistakes, which makes it impossible for parents who don't know the truth to distinguish and educate.
To this end, it is better to learn to let children pay for their mistakes and understand the consequences of their mistakes. Sometimes "a fall" can also "gain wisdom".
During the lunch break, my colleagues complained to me that their children have become more and more naughty recently. A few days ago, they poured boiling water into the fish tank out of curiosity, directly scalding two goldfish that their father had kept for a long time. When my colleagues found out, the water was already cold. At that time, she looked at the turned goldfish and almost died of fright. She ran to ask the child what was going on, but the child denied it and said she didn't know. Fortunately, my colleague was clever and witty in restoring the child's "criminal process" and did not let him escape from his father's beloved "Wuzhishan".
Finally, the child was punished for cleaning the fish tank and doing housework for ten days. After that, the punished children are no longer self-righteous, and they will report to their families when they encounter things with uncertain consequences, and they will be much more obedient.
It is inevitable for children to make mistakes, but the types of mistakes are different, and different types of mistakes reflect different personality characteristics of children.
Types of Children's Errors Unconscious Errors
Children who make such mistakes are often careless, and generally act on instinct without consideration. He can't predict in advance what consequences his actions will bring and what responsibilities he will bear.
If such a child can be more cautious and think twice before acting, it will make his future path smoother.
Make a mistake on impulse
Children who make mistakes on impulse are irritable and easily angered. He did it without hesitation, knowing the impact of his mistake. Such children are easy to be used as guns by society, and they are stupid to help others when they are sold.
Deliberate mistakes
Such a child foresees the consequences of his actions before making mistakes, even so, he still chooses to make mistakes. Either he knows that he doesn't have to pay for his mistakes, or the mistakes he made can enable him to achieve a certain goal.
The parents of such a deliberately criminal child should not be underestimated. They should pay close attention to the child's dynamics and don't let him make a big mistake.
Karl Witt, a German educator, said: "Because children can't have a clear understanding of what they are doing when they do bad things or have bad thoughts and behaviors, they need parents to guide them to develop in the right direction." Parents are the guiding light for children's growth, and the wrong way parents treat their children will also have an impact on them.
Children make mistakes, and improper handling by parents will affect their growth. When a child makes a mistake, he doesn't ask why.
When a child makes a mistake, parents will teach the child by beating and cursing without asking indiscriminately, so that he can remember the lesson of the mistake with physical pain, thinking that only in this way can the child not make the same mistake again.
Makarenko, a Soviet educator, once said: "Educating children by beating is similar to educating future generations by apes." Although the way of beating and cursing will make the child remember the lessons learned, at the same time, it will also make him deeply branded with fear of being beaten by his parents and become an indelible shadow.
Children make mistakes and cover them up blindly.
Some parents regard their children as the apple of their eye and can't bear to blame them a little. Even if the child makes a mistake, he unconditionally forgives the child's mistake on the grounds that he is still young, and even condones the child's mistake. Parents who shield their children like this will only make their children treat mistakes as trivial matters.
Parents don't care if their children make mistakes.
Parents don't care about their children's education, and they don't pay attention to their mistakes. Some parents think that it is inevitable for children to make mistakes at a young age, but they ignore that although children have the right to "try and make mistakes", the follow-up education must keep up, otherwise the children's "try and make mistakes" is meaningless and will only make them more and more "wrong".
The education of children needs to be guided by the situation and the right medicine. However, if a child makes a mistake, parents need reasonable guidance and punishment, so that the child can neither get away with it, nor "be afraid of illness and avoid medical treatment" because the parents are too strict, which will cover up their mistakes or shirk their responsibilities, or even evade punishment with lies.
When you find a child making a mistake, how to make the child learn to pay for the mistake? ① Don't scold in public, but take care of the child's self-esteem.
If children make mistakes in front of others, parents should not scold them in public. Although the child is young, his self-esteem has been formed. Scolding a child in public will not only hurt his sensitive and fragile self-esteem, but also make him feel ashamed, and will not make him believe in your education.
2 Implement "cold treatment" to let children reflect.
According to the Investigation Report on the Present Situation of Parenting Education in China, 69. 17% of parents will patiently comfort and reason when their children make mistakes.
When parents find their children making mistakes, don't give them a scolding at the beginning. The best way is to tell them the consequences of their mistakes, and then let them reflect on where they are wrong and why. When the children figure it out for themselves, parents will give their children a second education, and the effect will double.
(3) Punishment is essential, and sentencing depends on the size of the mistake.
Let the child be punished for making a mistake, so that he will think carefully before doing something, instead of making a big mistake on impulse. Parents can make punishment and sentencing tables at home from an early age, such as breaking things for five days and swearing three times. The punishment and sentencing table applies to the whole family, and only the rules that everyone abides by can better restrain children.
Children's education is not a trivial matter, and everything deserves parents' attention. Only by letting children form a good habit of paying for their mistakes from an early age will his future life be full of light. "The embankment of a thousand miles, collapsed in the ant nest." Parents should never underestimate their children's mistakes.