Some scholars have summarized the three stages of the internal education system.
The first stage is mentality education, which is also the most basic education, focusing on children's most fundamental attitude towards life. The so-called mentality means that everyone has the fundamental desire to give love and receive love. A well-developed person has the instinct of caring and caring for others and a good personality. When a child receives the love of his parents, his perceptual knowledge makes him realize that the world is characterized by love and can be trusted; When a child gets unconditional love from his parents, he can also develop a loving attitude, and eventually, he will learn to love others.
The second stage is normative education, focusing on the cultivation of virtue and the ability to establish a harmonious relationship with others. Normative education, like mentality education, is basically carried out in the family. When children develop filial piety to their parents, this filial attitude becomes their character. In addition, under the guidance of parents, children in the family can also learn how to get along with siblings and friends. Every child is self-centered. But with the experience of getting along with their peers and the correct guidance of their parents, they can learn not to hurt, abuse or bully others, and learn how to take care of their needs and wishes. After learning through love and experiencing the happiness of selfless cooperation with friends, children are ready to establish a harmonious relationship with others in the future society.
The third stage is in charge of education. This level of education focuses on the cultivation of abilities, including learning various life abilities, learning abilities and psychological adjustment abilities. Of course, intellectual learning is one aspect, but parents should mainly focus on the cultivation of children's non-intellectual factors.
In fact, in our country, family education is easy to fall into the following problems:
(1) Pulling out seedlings encourages growth
Children's mental maturity has its own laws and takes some time. Now many parents are worried that their children will lose at the starting line, and desperately force their children to learn to walk and write early ... even beyond their acceptance. In the long run, it is also unfavorable for children's physical and mental development. What to do at what age, parents should guide their children efficiently and solicit their opinions, instead of educating and encouraging them in advance.
② Overindulgence
In China, it is a common problem for many parents to overindulge their children. No matter what children want, parents will be unconditionally satisfied. In the long run, children can't resist setbacks, and it is easy to form personality shortcomings such as loneliness and selfishness. Psychologists suggest that parents must respect their children's personality when educating them, and they should neither spoil them too much nor treat them coldly.
③ Excessive autocracy
Parents are old and experienced, and they are elders themselves. It is easy to educate their children with authority and expert attitude. If parents often use authoritative words to regulate their children and even restrict their freedom of life, then children will feel panic for a long time and even become less confident, which is not conducive to their mental growth. In the long run, it is easy to have common problems such as restricting children's speech, picking on children's faults, and generalizing.
④ Overprotection
If parents pay too much attention to meeting their children's superficial needs, it is easy to ignore their psychological needs. For example, playing is every child's innate nature, and it is inevitable to get hurt when running around. At this time, if parents stop their children from running and playing for fear of injury, it will be counterproductive, leading to children's infirmity and mental development will also be affected. So parents should not overprotect and interfere with their children's normal life.