Impatience in answering children's questions is a way to ruin children's education. What kind of parents ruin their children? Parents who have the following 10 practices should pay attention.
1 infinite material satisfaction
It is not uncommon for many parents to be too stingy with themselves and too generous with their children.
Among these students, half of the families' per capita income did not reach the average level of local people.
And some families with good economic conditions are "rich" and "responsive" to their children.
In fact, children who do whatever they want in material enjoyment are probably poor children and playboys. They have a weak sense of responsibility and love ostentation and extravagance. When they grow up, they don't know what thrift is, let alone financial management.
2 Language violence
When many parents are angry, it is easy to say some ugly words.
Although I will regret it afterwards, what I said is like spilled water, which cannot be taken back.
Hearing these words, the child's self-confidence was completely shattered, and even subconsciously felt that he should be a stupid child. Over time, he really became a silly boy who didn't like to use his brain.
Besides, parents should not expect their children to correct their mistakes with rude language. It will make them realize where they are wrong.
Children who have been subjected to verbal violence by their parents for a long time will become more and more introverted, more and more silent, more and more alienated from their parents and will not share anything with their families.
3 control children
Parents impose unfinished dreams on their children.
The child's life belongs only to him. What parents can do is to help him, but they can't force their children to live in your own heart.
Parents often say such things to their children, which will cause a great burden to their children's psychology. They feel that it is their lifelong mission to have promising adoptive parents in the future, thus forgetting their real preferences and tasks.
How tired a child who grows up like this should be.
My parents quarreled when I was 4 years old.
A child psychology research institute once conducted a psychological survey on more than 3,000 school-age children, one of which was "What do you fear most about your parents?" .
The most common answer is: "I am most afraid that my parents will be angry and they will quarrel." One answer sheet is vividly written: "I am most afraid of my father being angry." He looks fierce when he is angry!
My mother was angry and I cried. I'm scared like a little mouse. My heart is pounding and I can't eat any more. "
Parents think that children are still young, and it doesn't matter to them what husband and wife say and do.
In fact, the children's sparkling eyes have already recorded all the words and deeds of their parents in front of them.
In some families, couples quarrel endlessly, swear and even touch each other, and the family atmosphere is often in a state of tension, which causes great psychological pressure on children.
Some parents, who have been at odds for a long time, are silent at home. Children living in this atmosphere are very depressed. If they live in this atmosphere for a long time, their mental health will be damaged, and their children will become indifferent, lonely, stubborn and rude, and become mentally deformed.
Therefore, creating a good family atmosphere for children is something that every caring young parent should keep in mind.
5 eccentricity
You should still remember the story of the hit movie Tangshan Earthquake. In Tangshan earthquake, a pair of children were crushed under the same concrete slab.
Faced with the difficult choice of saving only one, the mother reluctantly chose her son Fonda. Fortunately, her daughter Deng Fang later survived and was adopted by a PLA couple.
However, the daughter is disgusted with her mother's eccentricity and the sentence "save her brother". She went through a lot outside and suffered a lot. She didn't want to go home to recognize her relatives and was separated from her family for 32 years.
Parents are partial and let some children grow up in their parents' corner. Children of the same parents have different pocket money, clothes, travel and treatment, which will bring a shadow to their growth.
A large number of studies have found that parents' preference will have a negative impact on children's mental health and cause behavioral problems for children, adolescents and even adults. Even if they have lived away from home for many years and established their own family, the influence still exists.
Moreover, whether it is a spoiled child, a neglected child or a child on the sidelines, as long as they realize their mother's eccentricity, they will be hurt.
Children who are left out will resent their mothers or children who are favored, while children who are favored will arouse the hatred of their brothers and sisters.
Parents break their word and lie.
Parents are not trustworthy, mostly because of their studies. Some parents verbally promise certain conditions around their studies, but when their children meet their parents' requirements, their parents push from pillar to post.
For example, some parents say: Write your homework quickly and watch TV after finishing your homework, but when your child finishes his homework, parents will leave some learning tasks for their children to continue their studies.
Some parents promised their children that they would be rewarded as long as their test scores reached the top. The children did well in the exam, but they didn't get the rewards they deserved.
Children hate that their parents make promises easily but don't keep them. They broke their promise and teased themselves.
At the same time, parents' words don't count, which not only loses prestige in children's minds, but also is not conducive to children's growth and even affects their image.
It will make children who have not formed the concept of trustworthiness feel that a person can be irresponsible when he speaks and can not do what he promises to others.
It is easy for children to develop the bad habit of "recklessness" and "no credit", and this habit of "breaking faith" will make them lose many friends and opportunities as adults.
7 impatient to answer the child's question
Curiosity is human nature, especially in childhood.
However, many parents do not pay attention to their children's problems and fail to be the first teacher in their children's lives.
Some parents feel that their children are annoyed and send them away in a few words. Children may be very young, but they can also feel the attitude of their parents.
Parents' indifference will make children think that they should not ask questions, or they should not ask such questions, which will make children lose confidence in their abilities.
If parents didn't have time to answer their children at that time, they should first affirm their children's questions, and then explain to them that they really don't have time now and promise them to answer their children's questions at a special time.
Eight friends who don't welcome children
When children grow up, they also want to have a few sincere friends to share joys and sorrows with themselves. I believe that mothers should also want their children to have good interpersonal relationships.
However, some parents may not like their children's friends because they are impolite or too calculating.
But for children, with the gradual development of body and mind, I hope parents will treat their children as "adults" and respect their eyes when choosing friends.
If parents always discipline and express their antipathy to their children's good friends intermittently or continuously, it will inevitably cause their children's antipathy, thus gradually widening the gap between the two sides.
9 respect children's choice of good friends
Parents should treat their children's good friends from their children's point of view, be good at changing roles and thinking, and respect and protect their children's choices.
Parents should acknowledge the differences between themselves and their children when choosing friends, and respect these differences.
Sometimes give children enough face, and children will give their parents enough face.
10 accused the child in front of the guests.
People come and go, friends and relatives get together and talk about children, which often becomes one of the important topics.
Many parents like to expose their children's shortcomings in front of everyone, as if complaining to others about how difficult it is to educate such children.
But I don't know, I just blame him for his shortcomings, win the admiration of others, and call the child "tofu residue".
This invisibly makes the child feel that he can't do anything, and no one appreciates him. For example, he can't learn, watch, communicate, and do housework, which makes his family suffer for him. It also makes him feel that his parents are dissatisfied with him and gradually alienate his parents.
The article was transferred from WeChat official account: Children's Education Manual.