The elderly in the family include the elderly who live with their children and grandparents who don't live with their children and parents. Generally speaking, they are willing to participate in education and raise their grandchildren or grandchildren. Therefore, to do a good job in family education, we must correctly treat the role of the elderly in family education and give full play to the role of family education.

1. Generally speaking, the elderly should be in an auxiliary position in family education.

Generally speaking, children's parents are in their prime of life, their cultural quality is generally higher than that of the previous generation, and now they are mostly only children, so their parents can shoulder the responsibility and obligation of educating and raising their children. In general, children's parents should play a prominent role in family education, and the elderly should be in a secondary auxiliary position in family education. Cooperate with parents to do some auxiliary work, or be in the position of consultant and guidance. In this way, the elderly in the family will not be overworked because they have taken on too many responsibilities for the family education of their children, which will be harmful to their health and affect their later life. At the same time, it also allows children to have more contact with their parents, which is conducive to cultivating close feelings between children and parents and to family unity and harmony.

Under special circumstances, the elderly should play a major role in family education.

The special circumstances mentioned here mainly refer to the death of one or both parents who guide the child, and the child loses the normal main family educator; Children's parents divorced; Children's parents are ill or have poor cultural and political quality, so they are unable to carry out normal and healthy family education for their children. In this case, the elderly in the family should try their best to shoulder the main task or all the burdens of family education for their children.

Second, the significance of giving play to the role of the elderly in family education

It has many functions for the elderly in the family to participate in the education of their grandchildren or grandchildren. Mainly includes:

1, let the elderly play "residual heat" in the family.

The education and upbringing of the elderly to their grandchildren is the "afterheat" they play in the family. For this kind of "waste heat", they will only be satisfied if they are allowed to play. Old people have a deep understanding and rich life experience. Therefore, in general, it is beneficial for children to participate in family education. Many old people are hardworking and patriotic all their lives and have revolutionary experience. It is more conducive to their participation in family education and the influence of the traditional virtues of the Chinese nation on future generations.

2. Let the old people enjoy family happiness and spend their old age safely.

Due to psychological changes, the elderly generally have the psychological state of rejuvenation. Because of blood relationship, the old man has this kind of psychology and performance to his grandson. Let them undertake some educational obligations to their grandchildren, and they will feel that they are enjoying family happiness and interpersonal happiness, and their mood will be more comfortable. If they are not allowed to discipline their children, they will have a sense of loss and distrust, which is not good for their emotions and health.

3. It is beneficial to relieve parents' worries.

Although many young people and middle-aged people are parents, they are busy with work and study, and they don't have enough time to educate and raise their children. Education and raising children have become their troubles. In this case, the elderly can shoulder the heavy responsibility of educating their children, or help their children to bear part of the burden of raising their grandchildren, which can relieve the worries of young and middle-aged parents and enable them to concentrate on their work, start a career and make contributions to society on the road of life.

4, conducive to family harmony and unity.

In the process of assisting and cooperating with children's education and raising grandchildren, the elderly will inevitably increase communication and exchanges between children and the elderly. Nowadays, whether in urban or rural areas, more and more young people live separately from the elderly after getting married and having children. Because most children will still turn to their grandparents for help in raising and educating their children, this will urge young parents to "take their children home often" and will not alienate and neglect the elderly because of busy work and small family matters, thus strengthening the ties between family members and contributing to family harmony and unity.

Third, we should give full play to the role of the elderly in family education.

Give full play to the role of the elderly in family education, we should adhere to the following principles:

1, voluntary principle, do what you can.

The so-called voluntary means respecting the wishes and feelings of the elderly. Sometimes, because of family conflicts and other reasons, the elderly are unwilling to take care of and raise their grandchildren. In this case, we should not force others to do so, and we should not impose the responsibility of raising children on the elderly.

The so-called ability is to see how many tasks the elderly can undertake to raise their grandchildren according to their physical condition and other aspects. If the old man is in poor health, the task of raising and educating children should not be imposed on him or her.

2. The responsibility of education and upbringing should not be completely transferred to the elderly.

As parents of children, no matter how busy they are at work and how heavy their career burden is, they should not put all the responsibility of educating their children on the elderly. Because the elderly are old and weak, and some of them are still sick, it will be too heavy for the elderly to put all the responsibilities of education and raising children on them. At the same time, it is not conducive to the cultivation of the feelings of father and son, mother and son or father and daughter, and is not conducive to the normal growth of children. If the children's parents are not very busy at work, it is not only immoral, but also irresponsible to the children to shift the responsibility of raising and educating the children to the elderly and lead a leisurely life by themselves.

Old people should never spoil their children.

Older people generally love their grandchildren, even more than their parents. It is easy for the elderly to spoil their children by educating their grandchildren, especially by letting them live with the elderly. Therefore, the elderly should educate their grandchildren not to spoil, be partial or protect them.

Spoiling and pampering are very unfavorable to the healthy growth of children and the formation of good character. We should combine love for children with strict requirements. On the issue of right and wrong, in the cultivation of moral behavior and good habits, we should not accommodate, let alone condone.

Treat several grandchildren equally, don't favor one over the other. Otherwise, the pampered children are not easy to discipline, and the neglected children's young hearts are easily hurt, even affecting their future development.

Old people should try to be consistent with their children in educating them. If you have different opinions, don't show them in front of the children. You should avoid children to exchange views, and don't stop others from disciplining children in front of them. Let the children feel that the opinions of adults are the same, and there is no "loophole" to drill and no "backing" to find, so as to consciously follow the requirements of adults. After the child's parents refused some of the child's requirements, grandparents must never meet the child's requirements behind their parents' backs and play the role of "protection and being protected". Adults' different attitudes towards education will definitely affect the educational effect.

4. It is necessary to prevent the feudal remnants in the minds of some old people from affecting the next generation.

Some old people, especially those in rural areas, often have feudal superstitions in their minds, and some are even serious. When they contact and educate their children, they will consciously or unconsciously influence them with old consciousness and old habits that do not conform to the direction of social development, which is not conducive to their healthy growth. Parents should pay attention.