Children accidentally fall down when they are toddlers or playing. What do parents do in China and the West? Most mothers in China will step forward, immediately pick up their children, and then beat their heads and say? Don't cry. Does it hurt? It's okay, let's see how mom fights. ?
Western parents may stand aside and tell their children. Get up by yourself It's okay. ?
Although this is only a small case, and it does not represent all parents, it is undeniable that most parents in China are somewhat doting on their children.
From childhood to adulthood, parents arrange their children's first half of their lives, from babbling to choosing a major at university, and even choosing a life partner, all of which are completed in the blind date arrangement of parents.
Education in China is likely to make children feel that life is easy. But in fact, after entering the society, we will gradually find that the world is different from what we imagined, so that children can be born? Frustration? This is the so-called? Spoil a child like a child? .
Furthermore, with the accelerated pace of life and the increasing pressure, once children become parents, they will find that it may be just a trivial matter, which will make them very confused and don't know what to do.
At this time, parents who can't keep up with the times can't tell their children what to do.
It is not necessarily a bad thing for children to experience the joys and sorrows of life by themselves. On the contrary, the current educational methods have made more and more children become? Su mingcheng? .
2. Old-fashioned education &; New education
More and more families are facing the problem of dealing with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, one of which is the education of children.
There used to be an old saying that old people prefer the next generation of children, which is true. Modern parents have realized the disadvantages of doting on their children and more or less began to pay attention to scientific educational methods.
Of course, I don't advocate a completely westernized education method here. After all, China's national conditions are not exactly the same as those of the West.
However, under this mode of education, there are many contradictions in the education of children between the two generations.
When children are young, if they don't want to eat, grandparents will chase after them, while parents usually choose to put them on a dining table and let them eat independently. If they don't eat, tell them not to eat this meal. If they are hungry, there will be no snacks.
Grandma can't see the past at ordinary times, but after a while, two generations will have differences. In this case, parents are all for the good of their children, but the results are often unsatisfactory.
In fact, no matter what kind of education, we should be able to find that doting is the original sin that makes children go to the point of no return.
We can always hear parents complaining about how difficult their children are to take care of, fighting in kindergarten, throwing bad toys violently at home and so on. In the psychology department and children's department of the hospital, many children with different symptoms also abound.
The cases of autism and ADHD are increasing at an alarming rate every year, which is a terrible phenomenon.
When these children grow up, they may not be able to integrate into society. More importantly, they have become the protagonists of various real criminal cases. I think not all parents want to see such a tragedy.
So, from now on, if you don't want your children to grow up to be? Su mingcheng? Parents should not do the following things, please give him proper rain and wind.
Will these behaviors make children grow into? Su mingcheng?
1. Arrange everything for children in the name of love.
Everyone needs to think independently, and so do children. Cultivate children to think independently from an early age, respect their choices, and help them establish a better way of thinking from the perspective of onlookers, rather than influencing them.
Of course, every decision made by every child is not necessarily right, but if the child's decision is wrong, the first thing we should do is to tell the child why it is wrong and help him make the right decision.
Instead of telling children that it is right to do so, they can only do so, which will hinder the cultivation of divergent thinking.
2. Take material rewards as encouragement.
In fact, many things that children do often don't need material rewards. Those toys and snacks are inexplicably attractive to children, so some parents will reward them and tell them that you can get them if you do what your parents say.
This method is not very reasonable in general education except in special circumstances. Children often need the company of their families. When children do something right, please kiss their cheeks instead of those snack toys to let them know that you love them.
with impartiality
In a family of birth, parents' preference for various ideas will make their children feel dissatisfied, and thus they will do all kinds of outrageous things in order to compete for good feelings.
A terrible real event, in order to compete for favor, my brother suffocated his brother alive. How terrible it is to happen in reality!
In order to be noticed by their parents, they will make noise and fight, and their parents will become more and more impatient, leading to a closed loop of vicious circle, thus allowing tragedies to happen around us. How pathetic.
4. Blind protection
We must have seen such a clip. In the elevator, the children are playing with the buttons on each floor, and the parents are on the side, regardless. When the person next to him spoke, the parents asked for forgiveness because the child was still young.
This situation is not worthy of praise. Parents are the children's first teachers, and his practice directly affects the children's view of right and wrong. When children get used to it, they will develop a kind of dependence. Parents will do everything behind their backs and do everything with their parents.
As parents, blind protection is the most undesirable reaction. The most important thing is to stop the child from doing something wrong in time and tell him why.
After entering the society, no one will forgive this mistake unprincipled, and parents can't accompany their children for life. Please teach them the attitude in the face of mistakes and storms in advance.
Let children grow up with love and companionship. So, how do we deal with the establishment of the relationship? Which education method is more suitable? We can't unify, just say that the western education method is good, and the new education method may not be suitable for every family's situation, so we can only analyze it according to different situations.
While putting an end to the above improper education, what parents should do most is actually love and companionship. Children's imitation ability is beyond the imagination of adults. It is the best education for children to see the love and respect of their parents.
No matter how busy life is, no matter how stressful it is, you should take time out to spend more time with your family! Let the child grow up in a loving family, without doting, favoritism and respecting his wishes, so that he will grow into an independent, capable and responsible person.