In education: excellent parents only do three things. There are three ways for parents to treat their children: one is to take care of everything and do a lot of things, but the effect is not good; Second, doing nothing, doing nothing, the result is even worse. Third, it is also a tube, but not a full tube. Not much has been done, but they are all to the point, and the children's growth is also very smooth.

Obviously, "doing everything" and "doing nothing" are too extreme, biased and undesirable. Excellent parents always choose to "do something and not do something", more specifically, only do three things.

The first thing: cultivate a good parent-child relationship

A good relationship is better than many educations. When parents have a good relationship with their children, the education of their children is easy to succeed; When the relationship with children is not good, the education of children is easy to fail. The key to establishing a good parent-child relationship lies in "orientation";

1. Learn to be a lawyer instead of a "judge"

Some parents can't wait to become "judges" when they see that their children have problems, which is very dangerous.

Children's inner world is rich and colorful, and parents should actively influence and educate their children. Without understanding their inner world, there is no way to talk about it. The first key to understanding children is to care about their self-esteem, safeguard their rights and become their trusted and respected friends.

That is, parents should treat their children like "lawyers", understand their inner needs, and always take safeguarding their legitimate rights and interests as their sole purpose.

2, improper "referee", learn to be a "cheerleader"

In the arena of life, children can only work hard on their own. Parents should be the "cheerleaders" of their children, not only be good at discovering and praising their children, but also guide them to face failure correctly and be their comrades-in-arms before setbacks.

3, improper "animal trainer", learn to be a "mirror"

Children can only overcome themselves by knowing themselves, but usually they can only know themselves according to other people's feedback. At this time, the "feedback" role of parents, that is, the role of mirrors, is very important.

Learn to be a "mirror" instead of an "animal trainer". Only in this way can children improve their self-awareness and communicate with their parents instead of being afraid of their "authority".

Education is divided into three parts and seven parts. "Wait a minute" is very useful. For example, if we are bitten by mosquitoes, we will get well soon, but if we always scratch, it will take a long time to get well. The reason is that the human body has a certain self-healing function. Being bitten by mosquitoes will soon get better, and applying external force will only be counterproductive.

The same is true of education. Stop, wait, give the child a chance to speak, communicate effectively with the child, and solve the problem without education.

The second thing: cultivate children's good habits.

Habits determine the fate of children, and nothing is more important than habit formation. If parents don't pay attention to cultivate their children's good habits, they are undoubtedly ruining their children's bright future.

1, everything starts with habit formation.

Cultivating education is lifelong education. Intellectual education is a good habit of thinking, moral education is a small habit of behavior, and quality education is more reflected in people's small behaviors.

A large number of facts have proved that habit is a tenacious force that can dominate a person's life. Everything about children begins with the cultivation of habits.

2. Habits are not built in a day.

Habit is a big problem and great wisdom. The formation of good habits is not a day's work. Its main principles are: low starting point, strict requirements, small steps, fast pace, more activities, change, quick feedback and diligent reform.

The key to habit formation is decided in the first three days and one month. Parents should fully respect their children's rights and let them play the role of masters in habit formation.

3. Cultivate casting character through habit.

Education is like sailing on the sea, so we must follow the correct route, otherwise, the bigger the ship, the greater the danger of hitting the rocks and sinking.

People's quality determines the development direction of people. One of the core tasks of family education is to train children to become real people. However, the cultivation of personality is usually difficult to implement in specific operations.

However, the researchers found that habit and personality are complementary, habit affects personality, and personality affects habit more. Decent, honest, responsible, caring, cooperative spirit, efficiency and other qualities can be cast through habit cultivation.

The third thing: guide children to learn to learn.

It is an important duty of parents to attract children to love learning and guide them to learn to learn, which is also the real charm of parents.

1, children are tired of learning for a reason.

Let it go, let it be chic; If you don't care, you will get beans; Nagging and cursing, beating and swearing at will; Don't arrange things, but create "machines" ... If parents take this unwise approach, they will only make their children less and less fond of learning.

Children's dislike of learning is only a superficial phenomenon, and there must be a reason behind it: haven't they developed good study habits? Don't you see the best in your child? Don't you use your brain scientifically? Are parents hindering their children's nature of "playing middle school"? But children don't realize that learning is their own business ... finding the reasons behind it can help children get out of the shadow of being tired of learning.

2. It can stimulate children's curiosity and learning potential.

Children's lack of curiosity is usually not due to the influence of parents or lack of strict requirements, but because their interest is hindered.

Interest (curiosity), dreams, sense of accomplishment, questioning, gratitude, enthusiasm and anger are all channels to dredge and stimulate children's thirst for knowledge. For children, the so-called competitive advantage is the effective development of potential. Mood, enlightenment, suggestion, reverie, perseverance and planning are the six principles to stimulate children's learning potential.

Although there is no absolute "timetable" for potential development, it is important to have steps, such as setting goals, controlling emotions, sharpening the will and focusing on one point.

There is a way for children to be the first in the exam.

Love of learning is the premise of learning, and learning is the guarantee of love of learning. Only learning can "learn well".

If children want to be the first in the exam, they must master some decisive methods, such as completing the exam as planned, writing carefully, reading textbooks slowly, sorting out wrong questions, taking notes at will, helping their classmates selflessly, taking exams efficiently and writing freely.

Now many parents have entered a new misunderstanding in educating their children, that is, blindly following or even infatuating with the so-called successful parenting experience, but these experiences sound easier said than done. Because they are not "portable", if you just clone and imitate them blindly, you will not be able to implement them on your own children, but you will easily "learn to walk" and have the opposite effect.

The most useful and real things need to calm down and think about refining. Educating children is not as complicated as parents think. It is not a distant dream to grasp the three major events of parent-child relationship, habit formation and learning. Parents become excellent parents and children become excellent children.

Look at those with children.

First, let the children do their homework on their own initiative.

How to make children obedient and sensible

How to guide children consciously?

How to let children learn to manage their emotions

Chapter 5 How to Make Children Love Learning

How to eliminate children's learning tension

Chapter VII How to Make Children Concentrate

Chapter 8 How to Eliminate Children's Learning Confusion

Article 9 How to make children change from negative to positive?

Article 10 How to Cultivate Children's Self-confidence

Chapter 11 How to Eliminate Children's Sense of Inferiority

Chapter 12 How to Turn Children's Disadvantages into Advantages

First, let the children do their homework on their own initiative.

Your child is obedient and a tame horse, but people often say, "You can take the horse to the river, but you can't make it drink water." Indeed, unless the horse is thirsty, even if it can be brought to the water, it should not be allowed to drink water on its own initiative.

The first trick is not to do homework for too long.

The second measure is to enlarge the advantages of children.

The third measure, learning should not be rushed.

The fourth trick is to let him bring the girl he likes home.

Fifth, let the children have fun first.

The sixth trick is to stimulate her and let him go all out.

The seventh move, on the other hand.

The eighth measure is to change the learning environment frequently.

Ninth, make a homework schedule.

The tenth trick is to let the children do their homework first.

The eleventh trick is to let the children draw lots by themselves.

Twelfth, don't judge teachers in front of children.

Second, how to make children obedient and sensible

When communicating with children, we must listen to him carefully and let him feel the concern and respect of parents, so that children's small self-esteem will be established, and they will seriously think about what they think and do and express their views in conversation with adults, which will also help children's rational thinking habits. Of course, adults should also pay attention to some details when communicating with children, so as to communicate with children quickly.

The first trick is to praise the child through the mouth of a third party.

The second trick is to communicate feelings with children through letters or diaries.

The third trick is to speak in a gentle tone.

The fourth measure is to let the children know what is wrong in time.

The fifth measure is to subtly divert the child's attention.

The sixth measure is to integrate into children.

The seventh trick is to talk about one thing at a time.

The eighth trick is to always express your trust in your child.

The ninth trick is only to make constructive suggestions.

The tenth trick, don't blame the frustrated children.

The eleventh measure is to correct the child's bad life details in time.

The twelfth trick is to praise the children more.

Third, how to guide children to be conscious?

There is a saturation principle, that is, children are usually bored. Although I strongly hope to have a goal, I can also appreciate the fun of finishing things. But I can't continue to take the initiative because I have many courses in my heart. If I lower my requirements and reduce the weight of my homework, I will continue to cultivate children's vitality at low tide, so they will improve their sense of responsibility and do their homework more actively after low tide.

The first measure is to appropriately reduce the requirements for children.

The second trick is to let children do subjects they don't like first.

The third measure is to enhance the initiative at the same pace.

The fourth measure is to let the children suffer first.

Fifth, interest is the best teacher.

Sixth, the mother's motivation is the most important.

The seventh measure is to change the child's attitude first.

The eighth trick is to occasionally talk to your child with pleading evidence.

The ninth trick is not to scold children when they are frustrated.

Tenth, it is also effective to give children proper remuneration.

The eleventh trick is to make children closer to nature.

Twelfth, success is not as difficult as you think.

The thirteenth trick is to cultivate children's initiative and self-motivation.

Fourteenth move, turn anger into motivation for learning.

Fourth, how to let children learn to manage emotions

Adolescent children are often dissatisfied with their parents, because the self-requirements accompanying their growth conflict with their parents' regulations. Parents must try their best to overcome this transitional difficulty and let their children grow up smoothly.

The first trick is to guide children to vent their dissatisfaction.

The second measure is to give children the right to choose multiple-choice items.

The third measure is to listen carefully to the child's dissatisfaction.

The fourth trick is to turn the role of the customer into a child.

Fifth, don't let busy work be your excuse.

The sixth measure is to deal with children's unreasonable demands in a democratic way.

The seventh measure is persuasion and education.

The eighth trick is to deal with wayward attitude with actual advantages and disadvantages.

The ninth trick is to guide the children's herd mentality.

The tenth trick is to give children a space to vent.

Five, how to make children love learning?

Under the cramming education model, learning itself is a patterned process, not even like it or not. Whether children are interested in learning or not, they should sit at the desk and read the textbooks over and over again, which is also the reason why children feel tired.

The first trick is to tell more inspirational stories to children.

The second trick is to motivate children with recent learning goals.

The third measure is also very important, distracting children.

The fourth measure is to get rid of the habit of children having a fever for three minutes.

The fifth measure is to stimulate appetite to promote learning.

The sixth trick is to teach children to learn to preserve their strength.

Seventh, moderate exercise can make children's brains more flexible.

The eighth trick is to stimulate children's learning.

The ninth trick is to promote learning efficiency with crisis awareness.

The tenth trick is to keep the learning content fresh.

The eleventh trick is to adjust the reading atmosphere with different themes.

The twelfth trick is to deliberately change the children's learning environment.

Sixth, how to eliminate children's learning tension?

As parents, we must be sensible, try our best to give our children proper guidance and comfort, let them get rid of the anxiety of being swayed by considerations of gain and loss, and often use optimistic and humorous tone to ease their hidden fears, so that children can have high confidence and courage to face the following challenges.

The first trick is to accompany the child and make him feel safe.

The second trick is to dilute the child's failure with an optimistic and humorous tone.

The third measure is to say that a month is thirty days.

The fourth measure is to pay more attention to the importance of children's psychological construction.

Fifth, breathing can regulate children's emotions.

The sixth trick is to deliberately say the wrong thing in front of the children.

The seventh trick mascot to stabilize the mood

The eighth trick is to solve the problem and eliminate the tension.

Seven, how to make children concentrate?

Mothers should moderately adjust the progress of their lessons instead of sticking to the established plan, so as to get the performance of taking care of both. Some children even read books while enjoying other people's games, which will affect their interest in reading in the future.

The first technique is the roundabout suggestion technique.

The second measure is to make an irregular segmentation schedule.

The third trick is the magical use of the alarm clock.

The fourth trick is to establish a flexible homework schedule.

The fifth measure is to get rid of the lax consciousness of "doing it at any time"

The sixth measure is to assign children to do housework purposefully and moderately.

The seventh trick is to let children guess questions and improve their attention in exams.

Eighth move, warm up.

The ninth trick is to use "quantity" to drive forward.

Eight, how to eliminate the confusion of children's learning?

For a mother, trivial things in her eyes are sometimes a heavy burden for her children, so she should always put herself in the child's shoes and help her children solve problems in life as a bystander.

The first trick is to guide children to make the most correct choice.

Inductive inquiry method in the second choice

The third trick is to ask questions skillfully on the premise of a choice.

The fourth trick is that the milk of black cows is also white.

The fifth measure is to clear the fog of panic when something happens.

Sixth, when you cross the bridge, will it succeed?

The seventh trick is to experience it yourself.

Eighth, fate is hidden in our minds.

Nine, how to make children turn negative into positive?

Life can be without many things, but it can't be without hope. Where there is hope, life is endless! For children, we should always encourage them and don't let them have negative emotions.

The first move is to find the internal causes of children's negativity.

The second measure is to let children publicly announce their goals.

The third measure, physical health, is the basis of establishing a positive attitude.

Fourth, good living habits are the magic weapon to keep a positive attitude.

The fifth measure is to let children develop the habit of reading aloud.

The sixth trick is to let children develop the good habit of getting to school early.

The seventh trick is to let children make more positive and optimistic friends.

The eighth trick is to let children develop the habit of writing big characters.

The ninth trick is to let children do some housework and get rid of depression.

The tenth trick encourages children to try new things.

The eleventh trick is to let children develop a sense of responsibility for housework.

Twelfth trick: Don't always ask yes and no questions.

The thirteenth measure is to cultivate children's positive attitude of asking questions.

Fourteenth trick: more praise and less criticism can make children more motivated.

Article 10 How to Cultivate Children's Self-confidence

The value of life depends on ourselves! Tell children that people, as independent individuals, are unique and never forget this. Let the child know the value of his existence, enhance his confidence and work harder to create his own personality and future.

The first trick is to tell the child that he is priceless.

The second trick is to let children do something easy to do.

The third measure is to weaken children's mistakes and highlight their achievements.

The fourth measure is to pay attention to the efforts made by children.

Fifth, praise the child first, and then blame him.

The sixth measure is to strengthen the advantages and let the children make continuous progress.

The seventh trick is to build children's self-confidence with high goals.

The eighth trick is to build mutual trust with children by "primitive dependence"

Ninth, parents should not blame each other in front of their children.

The tenth trick is not to blame the child in front of a third party.

The eleventh trick is to convince children that the god of luck will come at any time.

The twelfth trick is to let children recall past achievements and rebuild their confidence.

Chapter 11 How to Eliminate Children's Sense of Inferiority

Eliminating inferiority and cultivating self-confidence are actually two sides of a whole and must complement each other. However, the skills of cultivating self-confidence mentioned in the previous chapter are not specifically aimed at children with poor ability, that is to say, children with defects or poor grades often cannot play their role. This chapter is different from the previous one and can be widely applied to children with poor ability.

The first step is from "defect consciousness" to total negation.

The second measure is to use affirmative sentences frequently.

Third, mothers should also have skills in talking to their children.

The fourth measure, for specific reasons, relieves the child's heart.

The fifth measure is to eradicate children's psychological barriers with words.

The sixth trick is to let children read biographies of great men in the world.

The seventh measure is to let children objectively face their peers with excellent grades.

The eighth measure is to cultivate children's special talents.

The ninth trick is to weaken the child's inferiority complex by luck.

Chapter 12 How to Turn Children's Disadvantages into Advantages

Because the mother always reminds the corrected shortcomings, the child will know it himself, but the child with high self-demand will often worry about his own shortcomings, so the mother's direct scolding will often be counterproductive and make him less confident.

The first trick is to let children face up to their shortcomings in an appropriate way.

The second trick is to accuse other children of their mistakes in front of them.

The third measure is to distinguish between shortcomings and personality.

The fourth measure is to change the child's position and let him be self-disciplined.

Fifth, the shortcomings and advantages of children are interchangeable.

The sixth measure indirectly eliminates children's dissatisfaction.

The seventh measure is to use the implied effect of moderate punishment or threat.

The eighth trick is to hint at the child's shortcomings through soliloquy.

Ninth, don't use authority to suppress children's resistance.

The tenth trick encourages children to "do what they can"

Eleventh move, kid, you can do it.