When something bad happens, it is not the time to teach the abuser character. We should deal with things first, not people.
For example, if a child has spilled milk, the mother should not teach and criticize the child, but should guide the child how to deal with emergencies, so that the child can reflect and realize his mistakes in the implementation process, which is more meaningful and effective than criticism and lessons.
It's already 7 pm when I come home from work on Saturday, and the children haven't finished washing their hair and doing their homework. At that time, she was very angry and severely criticized her: "What have you been doing all day today? Haven't you finished your homework? What's the use of writing your daily plan? "
The child didn't say a word, and I ignored her again. I cook by myself.
Later, after eating, the children silently washed their hair and consciously did their homework.
Talking to her before going to bed, the child said, "Mom, I am so scared when you are angry."
This sentence made me feel very distressed and suddenly felt that I had gone too far. Son, she knows what she wants to do, but she is a little delayed. We adults often delay, not to mention children. Blaming children is useless communication, and children should be respected.
So the child didn't finish his homework and didn't wash his hair. What should I do when I go back?
[hypothesis]
Me: "Baby, didn't you wash your hair and do your homework?" Accept the facts and respond, but don't overreact.
Child (a little uneasy): No, I forgot.
Don't make useless suggestions.
Me: When will it be ready? Is this good? You wash your hair first, because it's not good to wash your hair too late. (Instruct children to deal with problems first (or together))
Child: Now I want to wash my hair and do my homework.
Me: OK, go ahead.
The child hummed and ran to wash his hair.
Criticism and evaluative praise are both double-edged swords, judging children. In order to avoid making judgments, parents should not influence their children through criticism, but should guide their children and give them a correct process, so that they will not make the same mistake again next time.
Children do something wrong, parents, what do you do? We can communicate together.