Can you provide some reference methods and suggestions for parents to educate and manage their children with poor self-control ability?
Of course, there are also methods and suggestions. The key depends on how parents practice themselves.
Children's poor self-control ability generally has the following manifestations:
1. Attention is easy to be distracted, work is not focused, and you can't invest;
2. Behavior can't be controlled and the goal is not concentrated. I'll move this and touch that for a while;
3. Weak self-awareness and easy to be tempted and driven;
4. The concept of time is vague, procrastinating, forgetting and forgetting;
5. Weak sense of discipline, don't know what to do and what not to do, indifferent collective consciousness, strong self-awareness, and don't care about other people's feelings.
The fundamental problem of the above performance lies in the vague concept of time and behavior in these children's hearts. For example, they should listen carefully in class, but they are always distracted, making small moves, scratching their heads and looking around; Homework should be finished on time and seriously, but they drag their feet and often can't be handed in on time; Recess should be civilized, but they chase, make a hullabaloo about, fight and so on.
Children with poor self-control have no sense of rules, rules and time, and of course they can't control their own behavior.
So, whatever, whatever, whatever, whatever There is no me in my heart, and there is no him in my heart. Almost everything in the plan can't be completed as planned.
So, what is the reason for children's poor self-control ability?
If these questions about children are compared to copies, where are the originals? Where is the copier?
The original is of course a problem for parents, and the copier is of course a problem for family environment and family education.
First, parents themselves are not doing well.
What kind of parents have what kind of children. The influence of parents on children is subtle, and it is a kind of silence and inaction. Parents themselves are too indulgent, too casual and too casual. Especially at home, I can do whatever I want. I play mobile phone, watch TV, do nothing, brag and chat, but I urge my children to do their homework and study. I can do whatever I want, sit, eat and dress, and never hide from the children. In this way, how is it possible to cultivate a child with strong self-control?
Second, there is a lack of attention and care for children.
Some parents may wonder, have they paid attention to and cared for their children?
In fact, you gave your child unprincipled care and attention. This unprincipled love is infinite satisfaction, infinite tolerance, repeated accommodation, repeated compromise and repeated centering on him.
These problems seem small, but many a mickle makes a mickle, and small problems are not solved. By the time you want to solve it, the problem has become a big problem, rolling bigger and bigger like a snowball, and finally you can't pry it.
In fact, the fundamental problem is that parents are not specific to their children, for example, they are not specific to their children's studies, games, play, small details of life and small emotions. Caring for children is only macro doting, even doting and indulging. Caring has not really entered children's hearts and become an education.
Communication with children is simply giving orders and making demands, not emotional integration, nor participating in children's specific study, life, reading, games, play and sports. Companionship is only in the same room with children, and it is not really integrated into children's study life.
Third, parents talk too casually, speak freely, swear, and reprimand at any time.
At home, I say whatever I want in front of my children, and even call names. I am very indulgent to myself and never consider what impact it will have on my children. However, as long as children do something wrong, they will scold, shout and even beat and scold loudly. If educated in this way, children will certainly not have good self-control ability.
Fourth, indulge, compromise, tolerate, protect calves, and don't set rules for children.
The child is the boss at home, or at least the young lady. He gives whatever he wants and comes whatever he wants. Everything is child-centered, always with children first, unlimited accommodation and unlimited tolerance. It doesn't matter if he goes out to beat other people's children. Everything will be solved by dad. Children have no fear, no rules, no rules. In the long run, children will not know how to manage themselves, and their self-control ability will of course be poor.
Fifth, children are given priority and arranged instead.
Almost all the children's affairs have been taken over by their parents. Pack your schoolbag, tidy your clothes, wash your hair and feet, bring the food to the front, hand the water to your hand, take your shoes to the front when you go out, and so on. Just open your mouth and feed. At home, children don't participate in all housework, and everything is arranged by parents. How can such family education cultivate a child with self-control ability?
Sixth, each team strives for hegemony.
Parents who want to have the final say at home, who refuse to accept their opinions and opinions, want the other party to listen to their own opinions. Parents are two bosses, and even children are three bosses. It's amazing. Who is the number one? The family lacks laughter, etiquette, harmony and democracy, mutual respect and care. Living in such a family atmosphere will naturally cultivate a child without self-control.
So, what about parents with poor self-control ability?
If there is a problem, change it and prescribe the right medicine.
First, in order to change children, parents must first change themselves.
Be yourself first and set an example. Be strict with yourself in front of children, not casually or casually. Some things can't be said or done in front of children. Go home and watch less TV, play less mobile phones, sleep less, rely less on the sofa, and be less sloppy. This is the best example.
Second, accompany children with high quality.
Get rid of yelling, put down your airs, get close to your children, and play, eat, chat, read and study with them. Talk to him, communicate with him, communicate with him. In the process of companionship, teach children self-management, self-correction and rules and regulations.
Third, don't promise easily.
You must keep your word, don't break your promise to your children, talk more about positive energy and less about negative energy at home, and don't talk casually, swear and swear. Speak more words of encouragement, less words of criticism, more words of encouragement and less words of attack.
Fourth, help children make rules.
What to do and what not to do must give children a strong signal and clear rules, and seriously accompany them to practice this rule. If they can't meet the requirements, they will never give up, train strictly, persevere and never give up. Help children to establish rule awareness, rule awareness and time awareness in their hearts, and cultivate good self-control and management habits.
Fifth, we should dare to let go and fully trust.
To fully exercise children's independent consciousness and ability, children should make their own clothes, schoolbags and everything they can do, and parents should supervise and evaluate them and give them positive encouragement. Children must take part in housework as much as they can. Everything can never be arranged and replaced, and everything can be done for you. Only by strengthening strict training can we gradually form a psychological quality and living habits, so as to continuously enhance our self-control ability.
Sixth, create a good family environment.
There is respect at home to have rules, parents have democracy to have rules, and there is love at home to have rules. Creating a harmonious, democratic, elegant and loving family environment will naturally cultivate a sunny, confident, positive and self-controlled child.
Cultivating children is also a growing parent. Children's poor self-control ability is actually due to parents' incorrect educational methods. In order to change children, parents should also reflect and change themselves. I think, as long as parents and children work together, children's self-control ability will be enhanced.