However, in real life, we have heard too many parents complain about their children: willfulness, crying, timidity, procrastination or boldness, harassing other students in class and disturbing classroom discipline.
The son of friend A came last in the mid-term exam and was called by the teacher to give him a good scolding. My friend told me directly that he was too failed to teach his son well. My friend's husband is the leader of a listed company. He is young and promising, and basically travels all the year round. A friend and several people set up a design company in partnership, and she paid 200% efforts to treat the company. Overtime is a common occurrence. I often advise her: if you don't need anything, don't fight. She always said: That's what I like, and I don't want to give up my dream. I believe my friend is trying his best to accompany the children, but it is not easy in his bones. Even if the company is in a tense situation, how can the child let go and get along with him?
If friend A's children are too busy to spend time with them, then friend B's story is different. B is an absolute good wife and mother, and she is also very patient with her children. B's life trajectory is basically company, family and children. However, just when my son was in the second grade, he suddenly refused to go to school for a while, and he refused to say why. Later, he couldn't find the school psychological teacher to help. It turns out that children are timid and introverted at school and can't make friends. Running in school the other day was criticized by the teacher. As a result, the child's psychological endurance is too poor, leading to crying and refusing to go to school. At that moment, B was confused. She feels that she has done her best to accompany her children …
Think about how far you are from qualified parents. Although I am a mother of two children, I am really ashamed: before Bauer was born, although I was not a strong woman, it was my duty as a designer to work overtime. I went out when he was sleeping in the morning, and he was already asleep when he went back at night. Even in my spare time, I have to do housework. For him, it is mostly mandatory education. Fortunately, he is sensible, but he is also sensitive and timid.
After Bauer was born, things became more and more. Bauer is now in a state of stocking, and he is basically an elderly person. This also often makes me fall into a state of self-blame. These days, I often reflect on what is the most worthwhile. Some people say that the success of any career can't make up for the failure of children's education. It may be several years before we have a deep understanding of this answer.
We often think that if we spend time and energy on children, children should be what we expect, but it often backfires, and we can't help thinking: what should we do? However, we forget that children are a blank sheet of paper. In the early days of his life, his cognition and learning about the things around him were all carried out through imitation, and his parents were the imitation objects he could come into contact with recently. All his imitation and learning are not in the gap between you and him, but in the accumulation of daily life. Children silently copy our appearance and eventually become our appearance.
Raising children has never been a competition of knowledge, ability and financial resources. We have seen too many wealthy families raising unworthy children, and we have heard many stories of students from poor families attacking back. Therefore, parenting is a kind of cultivation, which requires us to constantly adjust our mentality and correct ourselves, and finally we can really affect our children.
Psychologist Sydney wrote in the book When I Meet a Person: Parents with gloomy childhood will pass on psychological trauma to their children. No matter how much they want their children to consciously stop suffering, they always create the same trap subconsciously. Therefore, education is not only education, but also a process of self-healing.
Education is not a rut, but a subtle love. Love has no fixed form.
May we all find our own surprises in practice.