Parents encourage their children to learn manners. In fact, children's manners should be learned and started from their parents. Once, my good friends Jun and Li said goodbye to me. When they arrived at the hall, they saw that they were absorbed in their studies. During the dinner, Li asked me, "Do you know what we were watching just now? The army is explaining the Disciples Rules to me. " When I turned to the army, he smiled and said, "I am learning the rules of discipleship to educate my son 15 years old." I know jun is a famous brand expert, but I didn't expect him to be a good father.
Parents are role models for children, but some seemingly simple questions, such as if someone asks you for salt or pepper at the dinner table, how do you pass it on? Where should I put my mobile phone and handbag when eating? When shaking hands, does the lady always reach out first? When can/can't I call someone's home? How many times does the phone ring before hanging up when no one answers? I often ask adults in etiquette lectures, and almost no one answers all the questions correctly.
Locke, a British educator, once said, "The simplest, easiest and most effective way is to put examples of things that children should do or avoid in front of them. Once you show them people or examples that children are familiar with and explain why they are beautiful or ugly, the power to attract or stop them from imitating is greater than any preaching that can be given to them. "
The influence begins with the mother. As early as the Meiji Restoration, Japan paid attention to women's cultivation and housekeeping. Today, the overall quality of Japan has been recognized by the world, and mothers have contributed. I know an elder who works in the government. He is diligent from ordinary staff to senior officials. Although she didn't take good care of her children in life, her daughter witnessed her mother's tenacity and diligence from an early age. Later, my daughter went abroad to study alone and worked hard for many years to become an executive of a multinational company. In an interview, she said, "The tenacity and positivity I learned from my mother have accompanied me through difficulties again and again."
Another person who has a profound influence on children is the father. Psychological research shows that fathers are the source of children's sense of security. With the support of his father, children can face and overcome the pressures and challenges of life. Psychologist Harry once said: "A close and caring father can help children build a sense of self-identity and security." For her daughter, her father is the role model she expects from men; For his son, his father is his first role model.
1: spell
"Hello, please, thank you, you're welcome" is the golden key to good interpersonal relationship. When children often hear these words, they will imitate them and then become a familiar and natural language. Arrogantly saying "no" is also what parents should teach their children. Through observation and practice, children will gradually understand and adopt an appropriate attitude, even if they refuse, they will leave a good impression.
2. Praise and be praised
People are willing to be praised, but they are stingy about it. Especially in China, people are not good at expressing gratitude, joy and admiration. Studies show that people who often receive compliments are more willing to praise others, while those who are more willing to praise others have better interpersonal relationships and happiness index. Parents will stimulate and establish their children's self-confidence to a greater extent by capturing the little things in their children's growth and praising them more. Of course, it is also important to teach children to face compliments politely and say "thank you" to others' compliments. In addition, there is no need to reply with compliments, but it is impolite to directly deny others' compliments. For example, "this dress of yours is very beautiful", answer: "I don't like it at all."
3. Punctuality
Punctuality is a basic etiquette that mainly depends on words and deeds. Even if you are late for various reasons, it is actually disrespectful to the waiters. If adults are often late, it will make children form the wrong idea that other people's time is not important and it is not worthwhile to think about others. "words must be done, and actions must be fruitful." If children grow up in this atmosphere, they will form good qualities of punctuality, trustworthiness and responsibility.
Step 4 take the initiative to share
Sharing is not human instinct. Only after years of education and supervision can children learn to share actively. The dining table is a good place for parents to share education, for example, sharing food with others. Hiding food before guests come will only make children learn to be selfish. I remember when I was a child, there was a girl from Anshan in the sports school. In order to prevent other roommates from sharing food, she had to wait until everyone fell asleep every night before eating. Girls get the reputation of "mice" and have few friends. Although we fought side by side with a sports team in the same room for a year, I can't remember her name except that everyone called her "mouse".
5. Appropriate help
Generally speaking, children pay more attention to their parents' behavior than others'. For example, will parents take the trouble to give directions to people who ask for directions or even take the initiative to lead the way? Do parents pay attention to hold down the door key when getting on and off the elevator and wait for pedestrians to get on and off? Through these subtle scenes, children will remember their parents' behavior patterns and copy them involuntarily. When they begin to help others, they will gradually enjoy the feeling of "helping others" brought by goodwill. Of course, parents should also teach their children enough is enough, that is, ask when their children are not sure whether they need help. For example, when you see an old man carrying heavy things, you must ask the old man's permission to help; For peers, we should also follow this principle to avoid being too enthusiastic and bringing unnecessary trouble to others.
Tips for Parents-How to Make Children Behave Properly in Public?
Situation 1: The children are noisy when they go out.
Before going out, parents need to tell their children where to go and what to do, let them know what will happen, say the rules, make sure that the children have understood, and ask if they can abide by them. If the child is running noisily in public, ask the child: Do you want to be quiet or leave? If the child doesn't listen to persuasion, take him home calmly. Let the children know clearly that they can't go out again unless they learn self-control.
Situation 2: The child doesn't want to say hello when he meets someone.
Before meeting, be sure to prepare your child psychologically and tell him who he will meet in the future and how to weigh it.