1, remarried couples often have a psychology of comparing their current spouses with their original spouses. Because men and women may sometimes dissolve their marriage in law, but they have no emotional connection with their original spouses. Moreover, after establishing a new family, it is inevitable that you will meet your former spouse. How to look at each other, what attitude the new partner holds towards them, whether it is a narrow road meeting or a brief encounter, if these problems are not handled well, the newly established feelings between remarried couples may be hurt. Now that you have remarried, you should face the reality, forget the past, and don't often compare with your original spouse psychologically. Everyone has his own advantages and disadvantages. The current spouse is definitely not as good as the original spouse. Similarly, the original spouse is not as good as the current spouse. It is inevitable that pots and pans will collide in the family, resulting in some contradictions. Once something unpleasant happens, if you always compare the advantages of your current spouse with the disadvantages of your original spouse, you will get stuck in your mind. The more you compare, the less you taste, and the more you hurt your feelings. If you openly say "you are just not as good as her" in person, it will stimulate your current spouse and hurt you more. Practice has proved that this psychological contrast is really not conducive to consolidating marriage. 2. One of the main problems encountered by remarried couples is how to treat each other's original children correctly. The relationship between a child and his biological mother or father is innate. After remarriage, it is the relationship between stepparents and stepchildren. On the one hand, children are unfamiliar with stepfathers or stepmothers, on the other hand, influenced by the traditional concept of "the most heartless stepmother in the world", couples may be suspicious and think each other is "eccentric". At the same time, in this complex family relationship, conflicts may occur between the original children of both parties, and conflicts may also occur between children and stepfathers or stepmother. If these contradictions are not handled properly, it may deepen and intensify the contradictions between remarried couples and make the newly formed family crack again. According to relevant data, the divorce rate of remarried couples is 40 times higher than that of first-time married couples. The main reason is that it is difficult to properly handle children's problems. Both remarried couples have some belongings left by their past family life. Not only is everyone's property or debt different, but their attitude towards money and ways of managing money are also different. When a woman remarries, she will be unhappy about having to bear the financial responsibility of his and his ex-wife's children, even though her ex-husband also bears the financial responsibility of her original children. At the same time, remarried couples are often reluctant to disclose their past economic situation, including savings and property, and sometimes leave a lot of private money. One thinks it's entirely one's own and has nothing to do with the other; Second, I want to leave more for my original children; Third, the trust in this newly concluded marriage is still not high, and I don't want all my property to be mixed together, in case the marriage is unbalanced in the future. However, since we are married, isn't it another unfortunate marriage cycle? Between remarried couples, it is forbidden to always run around their own trajectory in daily family life. Otherwise, it will make the other party feel that they don't have themselves in their minds, and they will live without themselves, thus being emotionally out of place. Don't focus too much on the children of the original spouse, so that the new spouse feels that the other party doesn't care about himself and that he doesn't occupy much position in the other party's mind. Therefore, remarried couples should not be "two cars running on the same track", but must seize the opportunity of "coexistence", exchange more thoughts and feelings, increase mutual understanding, and make both sides feel that "we are real partners." The breakup of marriage is always a great misfortune in life. Although I have remarried now, I still have to learn from the painful experience, reflect on the shortcomings and deficiencies of the past, and pay attention to correcting them in the new marriage relationship. Don't think that the previous divorce was the fault of the other party, and you were 100% right and a "victim" completely. If you think so, then the future marriage relationship is likely to be handled badly. Some remarried couples divorce again, often because the hatred that led to divorce in the past has not been eliminated. For example, the husband divorced because of "male chauvinism" and abused his wife; A wife's marriage broke up because her lifestyle was not rigorous. If she doesn't change her bad habits after remarriage, how can she grow old with others? First of all, be realistic about reorganizing the family, not too idealistic. After remarriage, I just hope to get the love and care of my family and more resources. However, love and getting along are two different things. Don't hold a mythical attitude before marriage and have unrealistic expectations for marriage. Understand that it is not easy to adapt to married life. If you remarry, the challenge will be even greater. 1, it is necessary to precipitate pre-marital experience and rebuild self-esteem. If people reach middle age after divorce, they can't help but hope to find the other half as soon as possible. Figures show that men move faster than women. But experts point out that after divorce, don't remarry to fill the void. Some people have been dating during their separation, and they have moved in with their new partners without going through the formalities. In fact, it takes some time to rebuild self-esteem and values after divorce. If the reasons for the failure of the previous marriage are not fully summarized, the same problem will inevitably appear again. 2. Don't let unpleasant experiences affect the relationship between husband and wife. Many couples "shoot each other" after marriage because they have failed to reach a cooperative consensus on their living habits. When I remarried, I thought I could increase my resources and share the economic pressure. Later, I found out that after I got married, the resources of both sides would be divided and there would be a dispute. Marriage is based on mutual trust and appreciation, but the unhappy experience of previous marriage is easy to make people pessimistic about marriage, or compare their current partners with their ex-wives or ex-husbands. Mr Wu's experience is a typical example. This is also the sequela of previous marital trauma. We must reach a consensus on raising children. If the stepfather and stepmother are eager to replace the child's biological parents after marriage, if the biological parents are eager to let the child accept a new partner, it will lead to many problems. Parents need to understand their children's ambivalence-they are worried that their stepparents will take away their parents' love (many children will compete with their stepmother for favor); I'm afraid of getting on well with my stepparents, as if I were unfaithful to my biological parents who left. Moreover, parents remarry, and children have to move and transfer, which will make children's mood fluctuate and even have behavioral problems like Zhang's daughter. Children can't take their stepparents as their own. In the early stage of remarriage, it is advisable for biological parents to discipline their children. After parents intervene as friends and mentors, they can establish a relationship of mutual trust, establish a code of conduct and reward and punishment standards, and then implement joint punishment. It is an important principle to get along with things, not people. 4. Get along well with your relatives. The colored glasses of relatives and friends of both families are definitely a stumbling block for remarried families to establish harmonious relations. "Family members should understand that they are already under great pressure to organize this family. Onlookers do not discriminate, less negative criticism, and less contrast between the old and the new is the greatest support. " This couple should also learn to be optimistic. Since other people's opinions are hard to change, the couple should work together, encourage and support each other, and don't shake each other's feelings because of what others say. As long as you treat each other sincerely, you can know each other and get married again, which is worthy of the blessing of the whole world. 5. The mental health of children in remarried families is an important issue that cannot be ignored. The parents' divorce or the loss of their parents made these children go through a difficult time, and their parents' remarriage made them face a more complicated living environment. In the long run, it is difficult for children's physical and mental development to be normal. Therefore, remarried families should strengthen communication with their children, create a relaxed study and living environment, satisfy their children mentally as much as possible, guide their children to reduce their psychological burden, and give them a complete family, complete fatherly love and maternal love. In addition, the coherence and consistency of family education is particularly important in remarried families, and compensatory love or indulgence can easily cause children's emotional abnormalities. Judging from the actual situation, many remarried couples get along well. Most divorced and remarried people have experienced setbacks in love and marriage, and can learn from past painful experiences, so they cherish the happiness of remarriage more. This cherished process is a learning process. Judging from these remarried families, some couples are divorced, and some are divorced. In the former case, both husband and wife can realize the value of the second love; In the latter case, the first lover chose the divorced person, which was also well thought out. Therefore, these couples can make all efforts for the happiness of their new family. Especially those who remarry are older than those who first married. They are more stable and have deeper feelings. They can calmly and properly handle the relationship between the parties, have deep feelings for each other, and will be happy. Although some couples have some special experiences and complicated relationships, the families they rebuilt are somewhat different from those of their first marriage, but they also have some cohesion, because they are also married with love as a link. As long as both husband and wife coordinate their relationship according to the principle of "knowing their appearance and not doubting their person", whether they are first married or remarried, they can get along well and make the remarried wine sweet. Remarriage is one of the forms of marriage. It won't make people feel that everything is going well, but it will also be tested. But when you think it's worth paying, you should share joys and sorrows with your new spouse, meet the challenges of your new life together and taste the true meaning of love. So remarriage is also a process of re-learning. May all remarried couples in the world live a happy life and grow old together! Share to