In the eyes of children, if parents fail to reach an agreement when educating themselves, they will think that you all have problems, so why should you educate me? Questioning parents' education is not their own education.
The inconsistency of parents' educational concepts will make parents lose their prestige in their children's hearts. When parents and children are alone, nothing you say can have any effect, and children won't listen at all. Without trust, prestige is gone, let alone education.
Impact 2. Affect their mental health.
When there is a problem between parents, it is always for an educational problem. It will also bring harm to children's mental health.
The educational differences between parents will inevitably affect the relationship between husband and wife, and some extreme parents will also quarrel constantly because of their children's problems. In an argument, children will feel panic and some sensitive people will feel guilty.
In the long run, if you lack inner security, you will easily become insecure and feel inferior. Moreover, children who grow up in quarrels will only have a shadow on their own psychology in childhood, and even deepen with age. It will also bring some negative effects to children's future family life.
Impact 3. The child is confused about right and wrong and has behavior problems.
When parents' educational concepts are contradictory and inconsistent. Children's view of right and wrong is very easily influenced, because in their view, what their parents say is inconsistent and they don't know what to listen to.
The children's concept of right and wrong becomes blurred, because one says yes and the other says no, which is easier for children with very vague concept of right and wrong. This is unfair to children, but it is easy to affect their emotions and behaviors.
Impact 4. Emotions tend to become unstable.
Children who always grow up under the inconsistent education of their parents will deeply affect their emotions and become emotional easily.
In the eyes of children, if you adults have anything to discuss, ask me to do it. What makes you say I did a good job? This kind of emotion will accumulate psychologically, which will make children make a lot of aggressive behaviors and hurt each other.
Impact 5. Form a "please personality"
When parents' education is inconsistent, it is easy to affect children's character. A "likable personality" is thus formed. Let the children form the behavior of exploiting loopholes, and the psychology will involuntarily favor the selfish side.
And in order to appease parents' emotions, they will also please selfish parents. It gradually became a "two-faced", which led to some extreme behaviors in personality.
02
How do parents negotiate with each other to achieve educational synchronization?
Parents want their children to be excellent, and the consistency of family education is very important. It can be said that parents' education is basic education, and it is also higher than university education. What can parents do to achieve educational synchronization?
First, parents should communicate more.
Parents are human beings, and they must have their own advantages and disadvantages. To solve the problem of inconsistent education, parents should communicate with each other. Don't have two people holding mobile phones every day, not communicating with each other or working hard for their careers.
Although two people live together every day, there is no communication. Be sure to communicate more, put down your mobile phone, give each other a chance to understand and lay a good foundation for education.
Second, parents communicate privately when they have differences.
If there are differences between parents, they must be settled in private, and don't always quarrel in front of their children. When communicating privately, he
1. Parents' differences in educating their children will weaken the education of both sides at the same time, which will not only make children at a loss, but also make them confused about non-judgment standards. Children don't know who to listen to when they are young, and they don't necessarily listen to anyone when they grow up. Parents can't control anyone, which is very unfavorable to the education and training of children. Children who grow up in this environment often show anxiety and indecision, and some adults even show multiple personalities.
It is easy for children to form some bad habits, which come from either their father or their mother. If some mothers love their children too much and their fathers ignore them, such children are generally timid, selfish and intolerant; Some fathers are too strict with their children and abuse them, but mothers object to their children when they are young. When a child reaches puberty, he may also deal with his father's education in the same way. Such children are particularly aggressive. Solution:
1. Educating children is the common responsibility of parents. It is obviously not enough to rely solely on parents' education to make children grow up healthily and harmoniously. Therefore, when educating their children, parents should have a unified attitude, a consistent caliber, and discuss with each other. For those who don't understand, they should be good at inviting educators and learning scientific educational methods.
When parents disagree about their children's education, don't criticize each other in front of their children, so that the father or mother will feel humiliated and prone to disputes. It will also weaken education because the image of the criticized party in the eyes of children is affected. In order to avoid children, the two men discussed the best solution. If parents hurt their children because of improper educational methods when educating their children, parents must sincerely apologize to their children.
3. The high school children's personality is basically stereotyped, and there are many sexual problems in their psychological development, so they need to seek the guidance of professional psychologists, and their parents' educational concepts and methods should be adjusted in time.