First principle: Intimacy is always said to be "inseparable", but scientific research in social psychology shows that everyone is an individual and has his own privacy protection and personal space. Once violated, he will mainly show anxiety and uneasiness. Only by paying full attention to personal space can we have a peaceful mind and handle affairs more rationally. There should also be a "space" between parents and children. Many parents stipulate that children should not rummage through their parents' things at will, because adults should have their own indoor space. In fact, children also have their own small world. They don't expect others to break into their houses, even their relatives. Only with intimacy can home become a community of intimate daily life and a personalized and random development place. Children living in "intimate" family environment have made it clear from an early age that people should keep a reasonable distance from each other.

The second principle: pay attention to relaxation. Parents should not only be children's friends, but also be strict elders. If parents pay too much attention to it, it will become unprincipled concessions; If we don't pay enough attention to it, contradictions will follow. How to pay attention to relaxation? Parents should not only be their children's confidants, but also be strict elders, so that children can trust you, be good at opening their hearts to you and obey some of your decisions. Patriarchy is not desirable. You can make suggestions in soft and firm classical Chinese sentences: "If I were you, I would …" This view will make children feel that they are valued, and it is easy for them to master and accept their parents' ideas.

The third principle: it is relatively limited. When children explicitly put forward too many regulations, they must be resolutely curbed. The decisive refusal of parents will make children aware of the lethality of norms. In the book Emile, Rousseau, a French educator, once said such a thought-provoking sentence to honest parents: "Do you know how to make your children suffer?" This method is obedient. Because there are many convenient standards to realize his impulse, his impulse will be promoted endlessly. In short, sooner or later, you have to say no, because you are helpless. Suddenly touching this steel nail will hurt him more than not getting the food he wants. "So, when children explicitly put forward too many regulations, they should resolutely curb them. Parents' decisive refusal will make children aware of the lethality of norms, and then they will be much more cautious when proposing regulations. Moreover, parents' achievement is to some extent an imitation of the overall mentality of the times and the surrounding environment. Children learn to improve their standards from their parents and manage their impulses properly, so it will be much easier to get along with others when they grow up.

The fourth principle: the level of helping many children is in a "dormant state". Without principled help, children's working ability is likely to be "silent" for life. There are many parents who help their children to wash the sheets, clean and do their homework, so that their clothes and trousers are almost covered with mud and the cupboard is in a mess. After dinner, they push the bowl and pretend that it is necessary for their parents to accompany them, otherwise they will feel insecure. The harm caused by this excessive help is to promote children's sense of dependence.