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Some time ago, "Happy Dad" saw this question on Zhihu:

What are parents most worried about when they have children at home?

The following answer "Every day in the toy collection is an endless cycle" resonates with many parents. I believe that every parent has no choice but to pack toys for their children.

Faced with all kinds of toys, as well as the constant demand of children to buy in buy buy, parents can only continue to pay for them, and toys at home may accumulate unexpectedly. Some oversized storage boxes are almost too big. In fact, this is just the beginning. Things that make mom and dad more worried will appear again in the future.

Children always like to throw all their toys on the floor when they play. Pat your ass and run away.

For many mothers, it is really a time-consuming and laborious job to help children clean up their toys. Therefore, different mothers have two different ways to deal with the situation that children throw toys on the ground when they turn around.

The first mother chose to clean the house.

A happy father knows such a mother. The house is spotless. Even the children's toys are neatly placed in the right place, and all the items are placed in order. When we went to their house, the windows were bright and clean, and we hardly dared to go down.

The second kind of mother chooses to let her children put their own toys.

The second kind of mother is not like the first kind. The house is also cleaned normally, and it is also a common sight to walk in. Children's toys are thrown on the ground, and sitting on the sofa may accidentally turn over the car. More chaotic, more chaotic.

What kind of family do children prefer to be neat or messy?

Today, Happy Dad will discuss with you what children's toys are being arranged. Maybe the final conclusion is very different from what mothers think!

Before answering this question, let's take a look at what effect a place full of toys and a clean place will have on children.

broken window effect

There is a very strange phenomenon in psychology.

There is a car parked in the yard of the community. Everyone passes by it every day. Suddenly one day, someone knocked a hole in the glass of the car, and the next day, the glass was smashed. Slowly, the car's glass was broken, and even the tires were removed.

This is the famous broken window effect. No one will choose to break the window, and the broken window will soon be more damaged. This psychological effect is still applicable to the packaging of children's toys.

If the toys are neatly placed anywhere every day, for children, these toys are like objects displayed in the exhibition hall, which is equivalent to a good window. Under the psychological influence of "broken window effect", children choose to turn a blind eye to themselves without destroying their integrity. Adults and children have a tendency to pursue perfection, so it is actually very unlikely that children will touch the packaged toys.

If you throw toys around, the psychological impact on children will be completely different. Toys everywhere are like facing a window with a hole. They are very interested and willing to continue to expand the hole. Reflected in toys, is constantly playing with existing toys.

Therefore, most children like an environment full of toys.

Littering is the premise of creativity.

I have read such a study: if a person's desk is tidy every day, books are neatly arranged and pens are orderly arranged, it not only shows that this person likes neatness, but also shows that this person lacks creativity, and many famous examples are cited. For example, Picasso's desk can hardly be described as a mess, and Einstein's desk is also so messy, but it is on this messy desk that they have made remarkable achievements.

It makes sense that a clean environment can make people feel happy, and then put more energy into their creation. But why do so many famous people's inventions and research start from a chaotic environment?

A study by foreign psychologists answered this question well.

He said: When a person is in a clean and tidy environment, his brain is inactive. After all, orderly arrangement means putting everything in the right place. Position, which is a well-known rule, does not require brain thinking. Once the brain relaxes, creativity disappears.

But in a chaotic environment, the situation is different. There are still many strange phenomena waiting for us to discover. For example, sitting on the sofa, the car will come out from under the sofa cushion. When sleeping, put a transformer in the quilt "in advance". When you wake up, you open your eyes and a doll is by your side.

On the one hand, these situations can arouse children's interest, and they will have a strong interest in toys and the environment. They don't need parental supervision. They can consciously play with toys, explore the environment and cultivate children's creativity. Every unreasonable but real scene opens a new door for the child's brain. Pushing this door open represents more and more powerful creativity.

From the above description, we know that packaging toys is not so important for children. We believe that toys should be cleaned up, at least up to the standard of "getting toys back from anywhere". In fact, this is to help children repair broken windows, which is a blow to children. The fun of playing with toys artificially stifles children's creativity, which is really not worth it.

So, should children be allowed to pick up toys?

The answer is yes, but the purpose of letting children pack toys is not to let children really pack things like adults, but to train them in these areas. Consciousness. This is the real meaning of letting children pack their toys!

Toys may be messy, but that doesn't mean they may be unsanitary.

Many parents who have seen Happy Dad may think that they don't pack their toys at all, because the messy environment is most suitable for children. Their appearance and their appearance can save a lot of time. Toys that have been misplaced for a long time are different from unsanitary things.

When we say that toys are misplaced, we more mean putting toys on sofas and beds in clean places, even if they look messy, they are cleaner. If you throw toys around, or throw them in the kitchen and bathroom, it's unhealthy. The floor itself is not as clean as the bed. If toys are always thrown on the ground, they will be contaminated by many bacteria and eventually enter the human body through children's hands.

Therefore, parents should have a certain understanding of the confusion of children's toys.

Classification consciousness

Packaging toys can also cultivate children's sense of classification.

Generally speaking, children around the age of 3 already have the idea of classification. For example, they will put the same car in the same place and throw all the Transformers on the sofa. Of course, there is another theory that this is a "sensitive period of order" for children. In fact, this is just a different way of saying it. In essence, it is the embryonic form of children's classification consciousness.

At this time, children rely more on their own intuition to classify. For them, there is no clear standard. If you have to describe it in one sentence, it is "I am willing to do so." So, how to make children's classification consciousness clearer, more accurate and more reasonable?

This requires the guidance of parents, especially when packing toys.

For example, when parents and children pack toys together and hold the car, they can ask the child, does the baby know where the car is going? If there is no gasoline, where should the car go? These seemingly simple questions are actually aimed at guiding children to gradually understand their own classification.

Where are the cars driving? This is a classification method. All the cars are put on the highway. Where cars need gas, this is another classification method, that is, all cars stop at gas stations; The last question represents another classification idea, parking in the parking lot. Three questions represent three ways of thinking, which is very effective for children to confirm their sense of classification and open thinking.

Order consciousness

In addition, arranging toys can also cultivate children's sense of order.

Happy dad, the sense of order mentioned here is more a feeling that can be applied to other aspects. For example, start cleaning with your own eyes; For example, when putting toys, big toys can be placed in the middle and small toys can be placed on the four sides. For example, depending on your area, you can clean up everything in front of you before going to other places. ...

These awareness are actually very helpful to future children.

It seems that picking up toys is not a trivial matter, but it has actually cultivated a lot of consciousness. The sense of orderly classification is also very important for future children. With the germination of this kind of consciousness, we can do well when we encounter similar problems in the future.

Of course, even if children's toys are messy, they still need to be sorted out. It really doesn't look like a thief. Therefore, it is also necessary to properly cultivate children's ability to clean toys.

In order to get children into the habit of storing toys, many parents will make mistakes in different processes. For example, "No matter where you got it, put it back", "Please don't eat or sleep until you clean it", "If you don't clean it, I'll throw away all your toys!" ...

In fact, the effect of these educational methods is very common. It's not that they didn't give their children a clearer and more achievable goal, nor that they became more afraid of packing toys. Generally speaking, you can ask your child this way, and the effect may be better.

Break down the packaging of toys into behaviors that children can start immediately.

Children in different months can understand and behave differently.

For example, a child aged/kloc-0 can put some toys back in the storage box. 2-year-old children can put toys correctly, so children of different ages have different packaging requirements for toys.

In addition, packaging toys is not a simple matter. It also includes the following steps: picking up the toy, putting the toy into the storage box, placing the toy, and closing the lid of the storage box. Therefore, if you directly say to your child, "Hurry up and pack your toys," the child often doesn't know what to do. Should he pick up those toys or throw them back into the cupboard? Naturally, when I feel confused, I don't know what to do.

Therefore, when packing toys, parents should actively help their children break down the movements and give them more clear instructions so that they can start using them immediately after listening. This kind of toy is more effective.

Looking for a suitable storage box

Where to put the toys is also a very special thing.

Happy used to have a set of magnetic plates and balls, as well as toys with other accessories. These toys are packed in a relatively small suitcase. I am happy to play with this toy. Every day when I come back, I will take pains to open it, find out the magnetic blocks and balls, and complete various attempts according to my own ideas.

But cleaning up after the fight has become a big problem. On the one hand, this kind of toy is very fragmentary and will inevitably be thrown away when packaging. If one or two are missing, it will be impossible to piece together over time. On the other hand, when packaging toys, disks and magnetic balls need to be stored separately, which usually takes a lot of patience and a long time. Don't say happy, happy dad doesn't even want to clean up.

Finally, Happy Dad bought a bigger storage box. Even if the magnetic plate and the magnetic ball are combined together, they can be directly thrown into the storage box without disassembly. I am glad that I can clean the toy quickly.

So are other toys. If there is a big toy, children can throw it away at will, regardless of putting it in the right place, and the acceptance of the packaged toy will be higher.

Do not hesitate to encourage your children to make progress.

Finally, encourage children to make progress.

Just like forming many good habits, the final process of cleaning toys still needs more positive encouragement from parents. It is an improvement for children to pack toys according to their parents' requirements. Mom and dad should affirm their behavior, "Mom is very happy that you can clean up all the toys", or more specifically, "You have cleaned up these toys." Or encourage children's behavior. This kind of encouragement is very important for children. Encouraged by this language, they will subconsciously repeat their parents' special praise, and then do something to tidy up the toys more exquisitely and better.

So, seeing this, you should have an answer to the following questions: Should children be allowed to pick up toys? If children don't pick up toys, will they disagree?

In fact, for children, they prefer chaotic environment to stimulate more creativity; For parents, it is necessary to conform to the growth trend of children, make children better while maintaining their abilities, and be more willing to organize toys in their own way.

Finally, what do you do with the toys on the floor? Let's leave a message and chat!

I am a family education teacher, a senior obstetrician and a multi-platform parenting author. Follow me to bring you practical knowledge of motherhood and parenting. If you have any confusion or questions, please feel free to send me a private message, and I will reply in time. I hope some of my suggestions will make you as a parent suddenly enlightened and stop taking the road of parenting alone.