The examples in this book are mostly trivial things that are common in our lives.
As parents, we are all novices, and many of the older generation's empiricism or the so-called "scientific theory" of experts are often greatly praised by us! But in fact, sometimes we complicate simple problems ourselves. Children's growth has its own rules. What we have to do is to follow this rule, instead of using the authority of parents to help children decide everything!
For children, parents are just companions and guides on the road of life, but they cannot claim to be guides. For parents, children are independent individuals. He also has his own independent thinking and unique talent. He also has freedom, self-esteem, his own ability to solve contradictions and his own way of getting along with others. What parents should do is to respect their children, obey their wishes and give them as much freedom as possible.
As parents, we can't be with our children all our lives. It is not reliable to leave only some consumable wealth for children. What we have to do is to help them learn to be independent and learn the skills to adapt to society, not just give them material wealth! It is better to teach people to fish than to teach people to fish!
Let's learn to let go together. Children are not parents' accessories. He is an independent life, and he should not live according to anyone's wishes. Maybe he will make mistakes when he grows up, but who is not young? Who hasn't made a mistake! Don't think you are above yourself, because children are endlessly accused of trifles. Children are parents' mirrors for a year. Before we accuse our children of some wrong behaviors or habits, we must first find the reasons from ourselves!
My child, my mother is also a mother for the first time, and my mother is also learning to be a good mother. Please forgive my past self-righteousness, and I will learn to respect your ideas in the future. ...
The second chapter of the most beautiful education is the simplest-purifying the concept of parenting. To tell the truth, after reading it, my inner thoughts have a great influence. And there are many authors' opinions, which can't produce a sense of identity at first reading, but after careful tasting, I seem to have an epiphany. Perhaps this is the process of changing ideas.
At the beginning of this chapter, the author tells us that strict education is dangerous education. But isn't it often said in traditional education that "teachers are lazy if they are not strict" and "strict teachers make excellent students"? Shouldn't education be strict? When children are young and have no self-control, isn't a strict educational attitude conducive to the development of their good habits? Actually, it is not. Whether it is completely strict or completely indulgent education, it is an extreme practice. The author tells us that we should advocate tolerance education. Tolerance is not laissez-faire, but on the basis of following the law of children's own development, giving children full freedom and maximum tolerance without violating morality and law. This kind of tolerance is not to ignore children's mistakes, but to let children adjust and adapt themselves, gain experience through their own life experiences, and finally grow up. At the same time, this tolerance is also to protect children's self-esteem, cultivate children's self-confidence and improve their ability to find solutions when they encounter problems.
Dr Montessori said: We often hinder children's development unintentionally. Yes, every parent who doesn't want their children to be happy, everything we do is for their children, but education is not static, and all educational methods are not static. Maybe the education method you are using now used to be suitable for you, but it is not suitable for our children. Perhaps an insulting remark or a contemptuous action you inadvertently make will cause lifelong harm to your child.
The times are progressing, and so are many people's ideas, especially educational ideas. Let's treat our children with scientific educational ideas and give them the greatest freedom, tolerance and sincerity. ...
I have never seen a beautiful and gentle education, and I have lost the ability to experience another natural person with the most natural heart. I don't believe that a person's spontaneous choice is good. Distrust of human nature is often the fundamental reason why some people can't get past the hurdle of "establishing rules". Therefore, I don't know if there is any other way to leave punishment when facing a specific child, especially when facing the child's fault.
Freedom is the soil where rules exist, and free children can become conscious children. Free will is to break the blind worship of rules. Sometimes there are no rules to follow in a person's life, and more importantly, sometimes the rules are simply wrong. Adults can propose rules to children, but they can't force them to implement them. If there are any rules that children need to abide by and cooperate with, we must find ways to let children see the beauty of the rules through reasonable means and accept them wholeheartedly. In rule education, parents' example and tolerance can make children learn to be human better than coercion.
"Free will" is the greatest luxury parents give their children. But "free will" is not to let children do whatever they want, but to try not to interfere with children's thoughts within the framework of ensuring safety and morality, so that children can choose freely and make their own decisions. Parents only need guidance, not intervention. Don't worry about his little faults, don't be afraid that he didn't do enough, and don't blame him for his unintentional mistakes. If the child's choice is really immoral or unsafe, parents should calmly conduct reasonable analysis and guidance, instead of blindly accusing! All experiences, regardless of success or failure, good or bad, will precipitate into positive experiences.
A child really belongs to his parents for only ten years. If you don't cherish the length of time with your children in the early days, you will actually miss many of the best moments in your life!
Chapter 4 The most beautiful education is the simplest-the success lies in the details of education. In fact, it's not just education. The success or failure of many things lies in the details, and the details are often the most easily overlooked places.
As employees, we often think about the details of our work; As friends, when we get along with people, we often think and pay attention to details; But as parents, when we get along with our children, we seldom consider the details. Just as details determine the success or failure of things, details will have a subtle influence on family education.
We always think that we are educating our children, and we always think that we have made a lot of efforts, but why is the content expressed not exactly the same as what children perceive? At this time, in fact, our parents ignored the subtext in communication with their children. Often when getting along with children, parents think they are directing their children from above, so they rarely consider the subtext behind our words from the perspective of children. In fact, the power of these subtext should not be underestimated. Although it is silent and even difficult to achieve, it does affect children. Therefore, parents should also think twice when communicating with their children, and don't hurt their children unintentionally without knowing it.
I also have some opinions on art education. In today's society, if children are not allowed to study extra-long classes or interest classes, there will always be something missing. At the beginning, the original intention of helping children enroll in classes was only to cultivate a child's hobbies, but gradually they were kidnapped by exams and lost their original ideas. Now that I think about it, the original interest class is to cultivate children's sentiment. There is really no need to make it a burden for children and a contradiction between parents and children.
Pay attention to the details of getting along with children, give them full freedom and respect, and rationally use some effective methods to improve the intimacy between parents and children, so that the relationship between parents and children becomes cordial, which will help both sides to be happy and make progress together.
In recent years, it is frequently reported in the news that parents have conflicts with their children in order to help their children with their homework or because of other learning and growth problems. Some results make people laugh and cry, while others have serious consequences, which are embarrassing and regrettable. In fact, on the issue of educating children, parents always think that they are rich in knowledge and life experience, and they have never stood on an equal footing with their children, but always look down on all their behaviors from a lofty perspective. The evaluation criteria of children's behavior right or wrong are completely determined by their parents. In fact, these standards have no basis at all. In the process of educating children, parents always lose their temper with their children and accuse them of not meeting their subjective wishes. In fact, losing your temper can't make children realize their problems, nor can you help them correct anything. It will only make children either timid or bad-tempered. Therefore, losing your temper is the most incompetent performance in education and can't solve any fundamental problems.
Moreover, some parents boast that they never lose their temper with their children, and they will reason with their children when they encounter problems. Then I feel that I am very open-minded and repeat the so-called self-knowledge over and over again. This can not achieve the purpose of education, but in the repeated nagging of parents, it will enhance children's boredom, thus affecting the parent-child relationship. Never think that nagging your subjective experience will become a child's indirect experience.
Cultivating children's good habits and good personality from childhood is a long-term learning process, which requires parents to treat them rationally and give them full trust, freedom and respect.
Love is an art, and education is even more an art. Let us love our children correctly and don't let your love become an obstacle to their growth.