Eight methods of educating children in single-parent families 1
1, often expressing praise and encouragement. Pay attention to praise each other in life and don't criticize each other.
2. Have fun with your children. Let the children say three things they like best and want most from their parents. Children usually want their parents to say "I love you" and "you can." Wait a minute.
3. Seize every opportunity to stimulate children's self-esteem.
4. Cultivate children's diversified values, hobbies and so on. Reduce disputes within the family and don't force the consistency of family members.
5. Teach everyone the skills of listening. When communicating with your child, let him speak 10 minutes, no matter right or wrong, don't criticize him, and cultivate your child to be sure that you are listening. Then, you close your eyes and think about all this, and then communicate with your child. Children will inevitably disagree with you on issues such as interpersonal communication, being a man and doing things. Let the children tell their reasons. If communication doesn't work, put it on hold for a few days and try again. Don't avoid outside help. Your friends and counselors can provide you with ways to overcome family obstacles.
6. Quietly tell children the fact that their parents are divorced and encourage them to face the reality bravely. To do this, first of all, the party who lives with the children needs to accept the reality of divorce calmly. So you can face your child calmly and tell him that you are going to start a new life.
7. Give children a sense of security and don't use children as a weapon to retaliate against each other. The biggest blow to children from parents' divorce is a sense of insecurity. Therefore, it is very important for children to know that although their parents are divorced, they will never lose their love for their parents. Let him feel that although he only lives with his parents, his life is as safe and stable as before, and there is nothing to worry about. To do this, it needs the cooperation of both parents, which is very difficult for most divorced couples. You may not want to cooperate with someone who may cause you a lot of pain, but you can't transfer your gratitude and resentment to your children.
8. In a single-parent family, mother and son (father and son) should be independent in dependence. Two generations in a single-parent family are often too close emotionally, which is a natural emotional alliance, but excessive emotional dependence is easy to produce negative effects. Therefore, it is the wisest choice for single-parent families to let their children and themselves have the psychological awareness and ability to live independently.
Eight methods of educating children in single-parent families II
1, eat more fruits and vegetables
Fruits and vegetables are one of the ways for us to get vitamins and other nutrients. Parents want their children to eat more fruits and vegetables, so let's go to the fruit and vegetable area together! Let your child try to remember as many colors of fruits and vegetables as possible in 5 minutes, and then report back to you. Mothers can tell their children that eating more fruits can supplement essential vitamins and help their children grow up healthily. The darker the color of vegetables, the higher the nutritional value. Finally, they can take their children to buy their favorite fruits and vegetables.
2. Cognitive games
In the supermarket, you often see some novel things. Take your children to meet them! Durian, which is rarely eaten, looks like a hedgehog! The ginseng fruit that the Monkey King ate secretly looks different from that on TV! Thai fragrant rice is long and thin. How can it be different from the rice you often eat? Even after you go home, you can find pictures of these foods on the computer, so that children can recognize them and see if they remember them.
Step 3 stand out
Mom can set some scenes at home first, such as putting the empty rice bucket in a conspicuous place in the kitchen and putting the empty toilet paper box in the toilet. Then tell the children that today we are going to the supermarket to see what we need to buy at home. Every time a child finds something, the mother should carefully write it down in the notebook to let the child know that her opinion has been adopted.
Making a list is a very good habit.
Making lists can cultivate children's order of doing things. A well-organized child will arrange homework and other learning tasks in a planned way, and it is easy to form a good habit of efficient learning. Let children make a list before going shopping in the supermarket, which can cultivate their good habit of doing things in an orderly way.
5. When is a good time to read?
"When is a good time to study" has always been a matter of great concern to parents with young children. In fact, most of the goods in the supermarket are written with names, which are big and beautiful, and children can easily identify them. Therefore, parents can often take their children to the supermarket to play, entertain and educate, and children will enjoy it and read easily and happily. Why not parents?
6. Reward is a common way for parents.
Rewards need to pay attention to timing and methods, and inappropriate or frequent rewards will have negative effects. One criterion of whether the reward is appropriate is whether the reward can produce lasting help to the children. This kind of reward from the mother in the article will urge the children to remember the word "chewy" seriously. This is a positive return.
7. Develop the concept of financial management early.
Maybe many adults don't have the concept of "over budget". But a 4-year-old child has internalized this concept and has to be amazing. In addition to being amazed, our parents should also cultivate their children's financial awareness in a planned way. We have changed the "education should start with dolls" pursued for many years into "financial management should start with dolls" advocated by Jews.
Finally, we have a very important point to share with our parents.
Parents are too lazy to accelerate their children's maturity. In the article, we see a capable mother and an agile child, but we can easily imagine that the mother must have encountered a lot of trouble when she first started training her children to go shopping in the supermarket. I'm sure it takes a long time to buy things every time, which is particularly troublesome. But the mother ignored it. Accompanied and guided by her patience, the children and their mothers go shopping faster and faster. After repeated trials and training, the amazing scene we just saw appeared.
In fact, it is the same for children to do housework, which can cultivate their sense of responsibility. Some parents say, teacher, you don't know that every time you let your child do housework, it's a mess. Not as fast as I do it myself. I finished it in half an hour. After the children attended, I had to spend a lot of extra time cleaning up the mess. The children swept the floor, so I had to sweep it again. The child is dragging like a cat, and I will drag it again.
In fact, such parents lack patience to accompany and guide their children. As we all know, children will do well after a period of training. Letting children do something can not only enhance their self-confidence and sense of responsibility, but also enhance their practical ability. Therefore, parents' ability to "take pains and wait patiently" is very important for their children's development. This ability can make children mature and excellent!
How to help children from single-parent families stay away from mental illness
First, the seven common problems of children in single-parent families
1, autistic
The breakdown of the family seems to be a "natural disaster". For young children, they lack the necessary psychological preparation, so they are hit harder than their parents. Moreover, children are more sensitive and vulnerable than adults. They don't have the ability to adjust their psychology, and it is difficult to face the harsh reality of family breakdown for a while, so they will feel at a loss and depressed. Children know how to compare. They will compare their present with the past and feel that their situation is much worse than before. They will compare themselves with children from healthy families and feel that they don't add other people's children, which will breed inferiority, become timid, lack self-confidence, lack enterprising and positive spirit, and also feel that they are not as good as other people's children.
These children are depressed because they are alienated from their parents, unwilling to get in touch with others, and often show symptoms of being nervous about the people around them. They always suspect that others will talk about their family's defects and their parents' divorce behind their backs. They think that others look down on themselves and are unwilling to open their hearts to others, so they are self-enclosed and unwilling to go out to deal with people, showing lonely and introverted personality characteristics.
Step 2 feel inferior
Because they have been living in a complete family, facing the sudden breakdown of the family, children can't accept the reality in front of them and can't adapt to the environment without a father or mother. Children are psychologically immature and can't understand their parents' lives, let alone their difficulties. Young minds are fragile and sensitive, and have no ability of self-adjustment. Once hit, you will be at a loss, at a loss.
Children are most likely to think of their past lives when they see their peers playing happily with their parents. It's not what it used to be. Their inner sadness and loss make them feel depressed and inferior. Children can't find their own happiness, and they can't see where their happiness is, so they refuse to be happy and are immersed in anxiety and sadness.
At the same time, children are the most sensitive at this time. Faced with the concern of peers and society, they will care too much and even misunderstand. Over time, they will leave the crowd and enter a self-enclosed and lonely space, which will lead to great obstacles in personality communication. In the long run, they will have mental illness.
Step 3 blame yourself
Self-reproach is manifested in the low evaluation of personal ability and quality, which leads to self-reproach, inferiority and self-degradation. All disappointments are attributed to their own shortcomings, and they tend to be afraid of what they have done. Children in single-parent families have a strong sense of inferiority. They feel inferior and pessimistic.
Because of their low evaluation of themselves, they attribute their failure in work and study to their incompetence, which leads to negative emotional experiences such as anxiety, guilt and disappointment, leading to their overall psychological imbalance.
Over time, they lose confidence in themselves, and even for those tasks that can be completed with a little effort, they often give up easily because of incompetence. Many children from single-parent families always feel bad after being criticized. When others laugh at themselves, they always think they have done something wrong.
4. Anxiety
Anxiety about others is an index to examine the degree of premonition of difficulties and failures when contacting others. In the process of parents' divorce, children from single-parent families saw the mutual attacks between people, learned to bargain and learned to be hostile to each other. Therefore, they lack self-confidence in interpersonal communication, and it is easy for guardians to bring this emotion into the communication with children because of the lack of family. Children live in fear, spend a lot of time dealing with family relationships after family breakdown, and feel anxious and insecure about interpersonal communication.
Therefore, they feel uneasy and sensitive in front of everyone. When making friends, they are always afraid that others will speak ill of them. They are always unhappy with what others say, and they show retreat and anxiety in their relationship with others.
5. Depression
Because of the split of parents, it will inevitably bring family smoke or cold war. Children live in a depressed space for a long time and are always worried about the relationship between their parents. Even children in some families have become punching bags for parents to vent their anger and anger. Children are in fear and worry all day and feel insecure. They are always worried and afraid of civil war, which will make them riddled with holes. Such long-term life torture, it is easy for children to produce fear and hostility, always keep a distance from their peers, have a strong sense of self-protection, and produce strong hostility. Children in single-parent families often feel depressed, depressed and fidgety, and there is nowhere to solve their psychological problems.
Because it is suppressed for too long, once it breaks out, the greater the energy, it is easy to produce extreme behavior. This tendency is manifested in girls wanting to cry or running away from home, while in some boys it is manifested in aggressive behavior.
Step 6 be alert
Generally speaking, children from single-parent families do not enjoy as much as children from healthy families, both materially and spiritually, which is exactly what every child desires. Because what children from healthy families can get is not easy for children from single-parent families, their psychology can easily change from initial envy to jealousy and monk hatred. Psychologically, they will show special attachment to their parents and hope to get double returns from them. In terms of material enjoyment, if they can't treat this gap correctly and think that they should be able to have what others can get, it will easily lead to crimes such as theft.
7. Reversal
Children from single-parent families are vulnerable to ridicule and bullying by other children because of their low status in the "children's circle". But they are also eager for strict cars and appreciation, so they deliberately show their differences in words and deeds, and sometimes even like to "stand up" to show their existence value.
Children from single-parent families usually have the above seven psychological problems. In order to solve these problems, parents need to take the following measures.
Second, ways to help children from single-parent families stay away from mental illness.
1. In single-parent families, there are also parents who are particularly concerned about the healthy growth of their children. They love their children, are strict and moderate, have a good education, and have trained many excellent and healthy children. It can be seen that parents' educational methods and methods play a vital role in the healthy growth of children.
As parents of single-parent families, we should first pay special attention to creating a happy family atmosphere for our children. This requires parents of single-parent families to learn to restrain their bad emotions and let their children grow up healthily in the wind and rain.
2. Create a good cultural atmosphere for children. As the father or mother of a single-parent family, we should pay great attention to our words and deeds, and don't show bad habits such as lying, breaking our word and being irresponsible in front of our children. According to children's hobbies, we should often take children to concerts, watch calligraphy and painting exhibitions, and play interesting games with them, so as to create a good cultural atmosphere for children, let them get rid of the pain of losing their father's love or mother's love as soon as possible, and gradually develop a cheerful and confident character.
3. Create an interpersonal environment for children. Parents should encourage their children to actively participate in group activities, participate in social activities as much as possible, actively communicate with others, and cultivate their children's cheerful and optimistic personality.
4. Pay attention to gender role education. In the process of children's psychological growth, the study of gender roles is an important link. Children from single-parent families lack the most direct role models in learning gender roles. Therefore, single parents should pay attention to mobilizing gender resources among relatives and friends, give their children appropriate influence, fully express and develop their gender roles, and cultivate their healthy and noble personality to meet the needs of social life.
Helping single-parent children stay away from mental illness can ensure their mental health. At the same time, it also reminds every couple that they need to think clearly before divorce. Please put the children first, and don't divorce lightly, because in divorce, the children will always be injured.