Inadvertently, a foreign friend mentioned family education, and I unconsciously thought of the "chair bump" phenomenon in traditional China, which was unique and interesting.

I believe everyone is familiar with this scene: when a child is accidentally knocked down by a chair, the child's mother will lift the child from the ground with "distressed" feelings, and while comforting the child, she will point to the chair and say, "This chair" made my baby fall, so the mother hit "this chair" to vent her anger at the baby, so the mother slapped "that chair" hard.

Obviously, "that chair" can't be wrong. Of course, there seems to be nothing wrong with the mother. It's just that she used the wrong education method when comforting her son.

Will the son learn from the "pain" of being knocked down by a chair?

I don't think so. My son will probably fall in the same place for the second time. Because the son saw the "chair". No, it wasn't him. More importantly, this kind of education can easily cultivate the son's inertia thinking of shirking responsibility and not self-reflection. When he grows up, he will be "tripped" by some "ditches" on the road of life, and he will also develop the bad habit of looking for various objective reasons instead of blaming himself.

A Chinese mother living in Tokyo, Japan, told her relatives about the phenomenon of "bumping into a chair" after returning to her hometown. The mother said that a family in Tokyo, Japan, saw a 3-year-old child accidentally knocked over the coffee table while walking in the living room and burst into tears.

However, the next thing made her feel "unexpected". When the Japanese mother heard her son crying, she came to help him up. She didn't comfort her son, nor did she pat the coffee table, but said solemnly, son, go again! So the crying child really left again. As a result, when my son left for the second time, he didn't touch the coffee table.

Chinese mothers believe that the "story" of Japanese mothers educating their children ends here. Unexpectedly, the Japanese mother immediately said to her son, "There are generally three situations in which children touch the coffee table. First of all, you walk too fast. Second, walk without looking ahead. Third, you are thinking about other things when you walk. " . So what was it like when you were knocked down by a coffee table just now? Finally, the Chinese mother said with emotion that the story of Tokyo mothers educating their children is no less than a "revolution" in family education for her.

Coincidentally, a young Chinese mother who just settled in the United States described a similar story in an email to her family. The young Chinese mother wrote in an email: One morning, I came out of the store and waited for the bus on the side of the road. I saw a young American mother walking on the crosswalk with a child. The child looks three or four years old. I don't know why, the child suddenly fell down. A young American mother walks beside her child. Instead of bending down to help her son up, she said loudly, Rudy, man, stand up! However, the child was obviously hurt. Instead of getting up from the ground, he began to cry. Unexpectedly, the young American mother said to the child again: Rudy, you are a brave child, and my mother believes that you will stand up! Perhaps it was the mother's encouragement that made the child really stand up from the place where he fell.

The young American mother took the child by the hand and walked to the side of the road, then squatted down, looked the child in the eyes and said, do you know? Rudy, if you fall down again, you should learn to stand up by yourself. Did you look like a man in our family just now? Didn't you say at home that you should protect your mother when you grew up? How did you protect your mother just now?

The same thing has different educational phenomena under the impact of different countries and cultures. In fact, writing this article is not to advocate everyone to worship foreigners, but to let us know more about the story and how to choose the right way of education.